Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

Disqualified

Posted on by Carl Weber

 

Disqualified

You were not good at math. You were easily distracted. You got an F. You got more than one F. You lost your temper. You messed up. You lost the account. You didn’t get into college. You didn’t tell the whole story. You said the wrong thing. You didn’t lose the weight. You were a bad friend. You got fired. You spoiled the party. You quit the team. You stopped calling. You didn’t get science. You made the mistake. You struggled with[insert name here].

Sometimes events make us draw conclusions. We were not good at math therefore we will never be good at math. We spoiled the party, therefore we will always spoil the party, so we should not be invited. We quit the team, therefore we are a quitter. We struggle with a pattern of behavior, therefore we will never overcome.

But worse than giving up, we become disqualified.

Disqualified is when the past is allowed to remove you from future opportunities, growth, or development.

Disqualified is a limitation on our potential.

Disqualified is keeping us from making a difference.

Disqualified is when struggles keep you from helping others.

Disqualified is a lifetime ban.

But, maybe there is no Disqualified status.

Maybe we misunderstood the value of the journey, the struggle, and the failure.

Maybe the fact that we struggle, fail, quit, mess up, and lose are the very things that qualify us to make an impact.

Maybe others need to know that we struggle as well.

Maybe we can learn, grow, develop, and be.

Maybe the future is wide open.

Maybe we are qualified.

Mourning the loss of who you thought you would be

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Image Courtesy of the Great Robin Lake)

We start out in life thinking we are going to be a certain thing.

We make plans. We make choices. We move in a direction. We become invested in who we are going to be.

Sometimes dreams don’t work out. Plans change. Choices are made. Sometimes we fail. Maybe we succeed at different things. Our journey took us in interesting directions, and the people we met and experiences we had created forks in the road. We took some of those forks.

We are “here” today, right where we ended up. Not to say that “here” is a bad place.

In some ways “here” is better than we expected, in other ways maybe not as good.

However, there was a lot of us in the original plan. It was part of our story. Part of our narrative about who we were, and how we described ourselves.

And if, as I recently realized about my own original plan, it was wrapped up in a healthy (or unhealthy) dose of ego and pride, part of it remains with us years or decades later.

A few recent events triggered some interesting emotions surrounding an old plan. What I thought was long gone, had just been lying dormant. The freshness of the ego and pride associated with these events caught me a little off guard.

But I had to ask,

“Why are these emotions still here years later?”

“These plans, or goals are long dead, how did they return?”

It was in asking the questions that the answer came into focus.

Long dead.

What do we do when someone or something dies? We mourn.

Mourn:to feel regret or sadness about (the loss or disappearance of something).

When we don’t mourn, losses remain.

Even when we move forward, un-mourned losses lay dormant.

I never took the time to mourn the loss of who I thought I would be. Life moved forward, the plans changed. Life turned out better than the original plan.

But the un-mourned losses remained.

Where has your life taken you? Where have your plans changed, and your dreams shifted?

Where should you be mourning the loss of who you thought you would be?

Mourn. And may mourning help you move forward in your journey.

The Pitch versus The Partnership

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Image Courtesy of usdailyreview)

There are a lot of ways you can sell yourself, your company, your product, or your organization.

How you sell says a lot about you, your company, your product, and your organization.

Most selling can fall into two distinct categories.

The Pitch and The Partnership.

The Pitch describes how you are going to solve the problem, provide the solution, or deliver the product.

The Partnership describes how together you will solve, build, develop, and create.

The Pitch describes all your accomplishments.

The Partnership describes how you have helped others accomplish their goals.

The Pitch pushes forward when there is resistance.

The Partnership listens when there is hesitation.

The Pitch downplays prior service issues.

The Partnership owns prior service issues.

The Pitch wants to close this deal.

The Partnership wants to make sure this deal is one of many.

The Pitch is proud.

The Partnership is grateful.

The Pitch can give you short-term success.

The Partnership can give you success over your lifetime.

When it comes down to The Pitch versus The Partnership, which will you choose?

Culture, Performance, and Employees

Posted on by Carl Weber

Culture Performance Employees

The Culture of an organization is important. Culture orients us to the organization, its purpose and goals. But Culture is not just what an organization says, Culture is what it does both internally and externally.

How does the organization treat its customers, even the difficult ones?

How does the organization treat its employees, and not just those at the top of the ladder?

Performance is important.

Making the numbers. Bringing in revenue. Achieving goals.

Performance keeps us in business.

Employees are important.

Employees do the work. Employees make the calls. Employees interact with the customer.

Actively managing Culture, Performance, and Employees and keeping these three in balance may be the most important responsibility of a leader.

But some leaders forget all three.

Some leaders only remember one.

Some leaders focus solely on Performance.

Culture Performance Employees (2)

Performance alone creates a different Culture.

Performance alone can treat Employees like numbers.

Performance alone can turn the Culture against Employees.

Performance alone blames Employees (for the Culture and lack of Performance).

Performance alone can lead to Employees leaving for a better Culture.

Great leaders realize Employees matter.

Great leaders realize Performance matters.

Great leaders realize that Culture can take care of the other two.

Great leaders strive for Culture that rewards and values Employees that can lead to greater Performance.

Great leaders know where to start.

When Science and Creativity Meet

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Object courtesy of me, and an amazing class at Blowing Sands Glass in Seattle, WA)

She studied Materials Science.

He studied Materials Science.

She had a grandparent from a distant land.

He had a grandparent from the same distant land.

She is from the place.

He moves to the place.

It is a creative place.

It is the center of this particular art at this time.

A common friend.

A marriage.

A business.

A class.

She is helpful and patient.

He is informative and methodical.

She provides the back story, the history, and the process.

He provides the science behind each step.

We have questions.

We talk.

We wonder if we are taking too long.

She provides reassurance, the talking is one of his favorite parts.

He continues the stories.

She smiles in a deeply loving way.

He continues the stories.

We left with gifts.

Two of the gifts we made, and both arrived the other day.

The third, and maybe the most important gift, was watching when science and creativity meet.

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(Object courtesy of my wife, and an amazing class at Blowing Sands Glass in Seattle, WA)

Home Planet

Posted on by Carl Weber

You meet.

You start to talk.

You try to explain some weirdness.

They nod.

They totally get it.

They totally get you.

You connect so quickly.

You feel so understood.

They speak as if in your native language.

They understand the perspective, the weirdness, and the challenges.

It is almost as if, as a good friend of mine says…

“They are from my Home Planet.”

They are out there.

You can find them.

They are from your Home Planet.

P.S. Remind them of their impact when you find them.