Category: Your Dreams

Post Success Doubt

Posted on by Carl Weber

Image courtesy of free photos on pixabay.com

You did it. You made it. You accomplished that thing.

There were times you struggled, and times you had to press through adversity.

You created, edited, designed, wrote, sold, presented, leveled up, shipped…

There was a moment of success.

It felt good.

But other feelings try to displace the good.

The Post Success Doubt.

“Maybe you were just lucky this time.”

“Well that was okay, but it could have been better.”

And the worst one…

“That was success for you, but look at that other person and how much more successful they are.”

Suddenly those positives surrounding your success are overrun. The positives didn’t stand a chance against those invading thoughts.

So what can we do?

Know that this doubt exists. This doubt can arrive after the rush (and good feelings) of success. It is much easier to create a defense if you know the potential attack exists.

Learn to pause and document your success. For me I like to write down what it was and the outcome. This provides me with written evidence to combat the doubt. If nothing else, I point to the page and say “see.” Don’t let that doubt discount you and what you did.

Celebrate your success. We tend to move from project to project, from task to task without taking time to acknowledge and celebrate our success. It also helps to celebrate with someone close.

(Helpful tip to those listening to someone’s success: listen well with your face, focus on what they are saying, and celebrate with them. This is not a great time to switch to your things, or make suggestions on how they could have been better, or worse yet, don’t give them the whole, “you should be humble” speech. There is enough false humility conversations robbing folks of celebrating their success.)

Your success is real. It takes effort and risk to create and bring things into this world. Let’s not allow the Post Success Doubt to take away from your success.

If you need someone to celebrate your success, we are all here waiting to hear from you and we will celebrate together.

The Non-Discounted List

Posted on by Carl Weber

Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

It was a simple call. Connecting with a former colleague and young talented professional. Catching up on life, and moves, and kids, and the next. It was good to hear their voice.

As we discussed the next (the next chapter, the next adventure, the next role, the next possible career choice) the tone changed. What was normally enthusiasm and optimism took a sharp turn toward self doubt.

“I’m not really an expert or very good at any one thing. I am to sure what I have to offer.”

We talked a little more and came up with a plan, with homework of course.

The homework was to make a list of all the things they can do, or have done.

But not just any list. The non-discounted list. Brainstorming and writing down without limits or assuming that those experiences have no value.

The non-discounted list is NOT letting our mind, or our narrator discredit or take away from the things we have and can do.

The non-discounted list reminds us of all the experiences, training, and skills we have picked up along life’s journey.

The non-discounted list gives us hope for the future and the next.

We will connect again to review the non-discounted list. But in the interim, I’ve decided to make my list as well. A reminder of all the things that may add value, help others, and make a difference.

Sometimes we forget about all the skills we pick up along the way.

So today, maybe you should make a list. But not any old list. The non-discounted list of all that you can bring into the world. When you do make your list, I would love to read it.

Why do we do these things we do?

Posted on by Carl Weber

We start businesses when we already have a job and a full plate.

We go back to school while juggling work, life, and home.

We write stories, and more stories, and sometimes books.

We get other certifications and trainings.

We side hustle on our side hustle.

We quit our jobs and become free agents.

We purchase a second business.

We leave the security of a familiar place to start fresh.

We move on to our second careers.

We move on to our third careers.

Why do we do these things we do? 

It would be so easy to stay comfortable.

It would be so easy to stay put.

It would be so easy to stay.

But, we don’t stay.

We move.

We move forward on our secret dreams.

We move forward on the next idea.

We move forward on that next goal.

Why do we do these things we do?

There is a small voice that says, “What if?”

There is something that keeps us moving.

There is something that reminds us to try.

Moving, leaving, starting, and trying seems to be part of us.

Why do we do these things we do?

I am not entirely sure, but let’s keep doing these things we do.

(Sorry for the hiatus, but we are on the move again.)

 

 

A Hope-Filled Plan

Posted on by Carl Weber

We make plans all the time.

One of best parts of coaching is helping leaders, organizations, and people make and carry out plans.

Over the years, I have noticed two distinct types of plans.

Plan type one is the safe bet. Rooted in “reality” this plan type is achievable with a little stretch, but when you dig this plan is the result of future fears, doubts, and concerns.

“You gotta be careful, we are not sure what things will be like next year. What if the business takes a downturn? What if this doesn’t work?”

I nicknamed Plan type one, the Hopeless Plan.

The Hopeless Plan starts with a laundry list of what can go wrong and assumes that all prior time not completely focused on this direction has been a complete waste of time, and there may not be enough time to try anything new or risky.

“I am too old, and should have started this a long time ago if I really wanted to do this…”

The Hopeless Plan acts like a constricting funnel of all good, cool, and creative ideas, and severely limits what seems possible.

But we have to give The Hopeless Plan a little credit since it does result in small achievements or progress.

But there is another plan type.

Plan type two acknowledges the present reality, but does not allow the same limitation.

I nicknamed plan type two: A Hope-Filled Plan.

A Hope-Filled Plan acts like an amplifier taking the history, the experience, and current resources,  combining them into a vision of the future that seems larger, possible, and exciting.

A Hope-Filled Plan is risky, interesting, and requires you to keep moving.

A Hope-Filled Plan allows you to dream and see beyond the present circumstances.

Recent examples of A Hope-Filled Plan include:

  • A mid 40’s attorney who dreamed of being a foreign service officer taking the leap to give up a successful practice for uncertainty and overseas travel.
  • A late 30’s language professor who suddenly realized they wanted to become a doctor and is starting med-school.
  • A person in their 50’s packing up and moving to a new city, without a job or a home.
  • A person too old to get back into the military traversing the process and waivers to restart a career they miss and enjoyed in their youth.
  • A 70-year-old builder of organizations taking the lead to build another one (ironically in the same area that was intended to be a retirement destination).

Plans are good.

Plans help you achieve your goals.

But choose your plan type carefully.

A Hope-Filled Plan may be what you really need and deserve.

Permission

Posted on by Carl Weber

I have been wrestling with how to close out a project that has been consuming my mind, energy, and emotions. The project is a risk, and includes trying to help others launch their big ideas into the world.

I have learned a few things along the way.

Taking risks is hard.

Launching ideas is scary.

Fear of failing is paralyzing.

But.

We move forward despite the resistance.

We will have doubts during the entire journey.

We will feel stuck, get stuck, and periodically wiggle free.

So.

What do you do when you are at the end of a project?

How do you end one journey and make sure it closes out correctly?

How do we move from one project to the next?

I was recently talking to a close friend and they offered a great word.

Permission.

And not just any Permission.

Two specific areas of Permission.

Permission to Rest.

Permission to Celebrate.

Permission to Rest – to acknowledge that your efforts and energy that you put into this project will require recharging afterwards and to make space and allow yourself to rest without feeling guilty, lazy, or worthless.

Permission to Celebrate – to acknowledge that you did something, created something, and made something happen, and to give yourself some credit even if it wasn’t perfect or exactly what you had hoped.

Permission to both Rest and Celebrate is difficult.

We are so “busy” that natural Rest feels like we are doing something wrong.

We are so critical and/or trying to be humble that to Celebrate feels wrong as well.

Maybe all projects should end with Permission.

Go ahead and give yourself the Permission to Rest and Celebrate.

And just in case that is hard to do, we give you Permission for both.

New Ideas

Posted on by Carl Weber

There is a problem with trying to bring new ideas into the World.

The problem is the resistance.

The resistance tries to wear you down, so you will stop trying.

At first glance you may think that the resistance is only on the outside.

Systems.

Organizations.

Power.

Resources.

Surprisingly the biggest resistance may not be outside at all.

There is a group on the inside trying to stop you.

The resistance committee of fear, failure, shame, and pessimism do a fine job of wearing you down, and shutting down the new ideas.

The resistance committee wants to keep you isolated.

The resistance committee wants you to think that your new ideas are stupid, silly, and will never be welcomed.

The resistance committee wants to convince you that the World will never embrace you and your new ideas.

But the resistance committee is wrong.

The World is waiting to embrace you and your idea.

The World has Systems that will help you get off the ground.

The World has Organizations that need your new ideas.

The World has Power to move things forward and Power to share.

The World has Resources to invest in you and your new ideas.

Don’t let the resistance committee keep you isolated.

Don’t let the resistance committee convince you that the World is the enemy.

You have new ideas.

The World needs new ideas.

The World needs you.