Category: Making a Difference

Go Live

Posted on by Carl Weber

While savoring both the conversation and the breakfast with a close friend, we discussed our lives as well as writing.

When, how, why, and what do we write?

How do ideas develop?

What makes something worth reading?

What do you do when ideas do not come?

How does that concept sit still for so long, then all at once it shouts at you to be put out into the universe?

I had a revelation and shared it with my friend.

“I realized recently that when I am getting writers block or feel stuck, it is the result of not really living life. Those times when I cannot seem to write are the exact moments when I am more closed off to others, not engaged, or distracted by the pressures of life.”

My friend’s advice?

Go Live.

Embracing Awkward

Posted on by Carl Weber

“Sure, I could call and follow-up on proposals, but calling that customer feels awkward.”

“Going to that event when I don’t know a lot of people is awkward.”

“Maybe we could be better friends, but talking about friendship with someone is awkward.”

“Talking to my kids about [insert almost any topic here] can be awkward.”

“I am a little insecure, and taking on this project, role, or job is awkward.”

When did awkward get a VETO? Who empowered awkward with the power to slow us down and even stop us?

Growth happens when we press forward with new experiences, skills, relationships, conversations, connections, and roles.

Maybe that awkward feeling can serve as a simple reminder that what we are about to do is important.

Instead of shying away from that feeling, maybe it is time for us to start embracing awkward and re-interpret those feelings.

Feeling awkward?

Yes.

Important work ahead?

Yes.

“Thank you awkward for the reminder of the importance of this next step.”

Awkward

 

The Hard Work of Dreams

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Image courtesy of the One of My Dreams, and the road trip)

Sometimes our dreams don’t work out.

But dreams (goals, aspirations, how we want things to be) can fool us into thinking that the road will be easy.

We have this idea, so it should just happen right?

I want this or that, therefore it should become a reality.

Yes it may be a little work, but hey “I have been working on this dream for over two weeks.”

During a recent discussion with a close friend, we talked about how dreams are the result of hard work. The result (that dream state) is typically achieved after years of sacrifice and working a plan that made that dream a reality.

We laughed at how much we dream without counting the cost. Big dreams without counting the hard work it will take to make them happen.

The “overnight success” band dream. Fifteen years of crossing the country to work every small bar, festival, or venue.

The “retirement traveler” dream. Thirty-three years of saving, investing, and saying no to the daily temptations of purchases.

The “dream job” dream. Ten years of attending school part-time while working, raising kids, and unpaid internships to gain experience.

The “business start-up” dream. Thirteen years of finding a market, staying up late working on proposals, being rejected, making mistakes, borrowing money, trying to keep records, making a product or service, building relationships, inspiring trust, learning to ship, and trying to convince others that you bring value.

The “perfect parent” dream. A lifetime of relationships, negotiations, cleaning up, providing for, apologizing, correction and guidance, time, energy, and intention.

The “great relationship” dream. Seasons of distance, making time, grief, disappointment, non-response, frustration, misunderstanding, forgiveness, and rejection.

Dream away.

But know that dreams require something in return.

The hard work of dreams is what takes a concept or idea and makes it real.

It will cost you, but the reward is worth the hard work.

 

P.S. A few days ago marked four years for this writing dream. Just a few more decades to go…

They are Listening

Posted on by Carl Weber

A while ago, I posted Amy Cuddy’s Ted talk about our body language and the impact it can have on us.

Shortly after watching this talk, I mentioned this to our younger kids and had them stand up straighter, and even lift up their hands in a “V” pose with their hands overhead and spread out. This came to be known as the “victory” pose around our house when frustrations such as homework, or other issues caused frustration or anxiety. But as time passed, these moments became infrequent, or dismissed from my perspective as “Dad being Dad.”

Flash forward more than two years.

We were on a long road trip. An important trip where missing the waypoints, or hitting delays have large consequences.

Car trouble.

Frantic search for a dealer.

Work that will most likely result in a delay.

PANIC.

Shuttle to a local mall.

Waiting. Wandering. Waiting.

Then it came.

Encouragement.

Small simple words.

A reminder to hold our hands high.

A reminder to walk in the “victory” pose.

A reminder that we were safe, and that it was going to be okay.

BUT.

The words and reminders were not from me, but from our kids.

The world slowed. (And so did my breathing)

I took their advice, and I raised my hands high and walked around that little mall.

My perspective and emotional state shifted.

We all smiled, laughed, and joked.

Our world shifted for the better that day.

I suddenly realized the impact we have around us, in our circle, and in the lives of others.

I also realized something else, perhaps even more important.

They are listening.

Me Too

Posted on by Carl Weber

Two words.

Two words that are the result of your own journey, hardship, or loss.

Two words that can drive loneliness, fear, doubt, and insecurity away.

Two words that provides comfort in a time of need.

Two words that connect you to others.

I went through…

“Me too.”

I lost…

“Me too.”

I am struggling with…

“Me too.”

I feel scared, insecure, lost, not enough…

“Me too.”

These experiences mold, shape, bend, and sometimes almost break us.

And then we hear those two words that help us see that we can survive, we can move forward, we can become something else, and we can become strong.

Perhaps the more important reminder is that we are not alone.

“Me too.”

 

Hard is Okay

Posted on by Carl Weber

“This is hard. I am not sure if I want to keep doing this.”

“This is hard, much more than I originally thought.”

“I was hoping it would get easier, but this is still hard.”

“Wow, making this change is hard.”

“Training for this [insert life event here] is hard.”

“Trying again is hard. What if I don’t [succeed, get into that school, get that job, get better, maintain that relationship, find the right career, learn to overcome this thing/fear/obstacle, bring value, find my path, finish well, make a difference]”insert any or all of these…

Multiple conversations. Similar statements.

Some statements are from customers or “coachees.” (Those being coached, is that even a word?)

Some statements are from my running partners.

Some statements are from friends.

Some statements are from my daughters who are either trying something for the first time, or pushing through with their life pursuits.

Some statements are my own.

What is an appropriate reply to all these words?

Stop trying? No.

Give up? No.

Easy is a better path? No.

Hard is okay.

It doesn’t mean that Hard is fun.

It doesn’t mean that we always enjoy Hard.

It doesn’t mean that Hard will be easy.

But maybe we can accept Hard for what it is.

Hard is okay.