Tag: know yourself

Giving What you Didn’t Get

Posted on by Carl Weber

They were a little late to the Zoom call. Technical issues.

They were nervous. You could hear it in their voice.

They won the contest at a recent supervisory training.

The prize was a one on one with me.

“I want you to know that I listened to everything during the training. I started applying it right away.”

They have been in this industry a while. It’s not glamorous work. It is hard work.

They were used to doing things the way someone else taught them. How to do the work, how to speak to others, how to give orders, how to set the standard, how to provide correction.

“I didn’t realize that my employees needed something different. I’ve been just doing what I have been doing for years.”

They never thought about their own style.

They never thought about their employees’ style.

They just gave what they were given.

Then it all changed.

“I realized how often I am just correcting others. How often I point out what is wrong, tell them how I would do it, and make them do it my way. No questions, no feedback, just telling. I never considered “how it feels on the other side of me” as you challenged us.

I suddenly understood that I was the problem. My style, my approach, my choice of words, how I was taught to do this job – all of it. It was not what they need from me.”

Within days they met with every employee. More questions than directives.

What did they need?

What was getting in the way of doing the job well?

“I also took seriously your challenge to “go find what is right” and tell my employees about it.”

They found what was right. They told them.

Barking orders stopped.

Engagement.

Latitude on decisions and process started.

Two-way conversations.

Insight and new ideas on how to do the work.

They started to give differently.

“My biggest takeaway is realizing that I was giving exactly what I got, instead of giving what I didn’t get.”

Giving what you didn’t get.

Giving more than what you got.

Giving especially what you didn’t get.

Where can you give what you didn’t get?

In this season of giving, maybe this is what we all need.

Let’s all try to give something that we didn’t get.

Let’s start today.

The Contest (and rules and giveaway)

Posted on by Carl Weber

Know Yourself. Change the World

The Contest

Know Yourself. Change the World. A lot of my work with people starts with a better understanding of their own styles. Either in the coaching relationship or when working with leadership teams, starting with better self-knowledge is a key step towards making progress and improvement.

Ever wonder about your behavioral style and how you are wired? Have you wanted to know yourself better and learn ways to be more effective in the workplace or life? Do you ever wish that you could communicate better with others, and have a better handle on who you are?

Here is your chance.

The Giveaway

One lucky winner will receive a complimentary assessment of their behaviors and motivators along with a one hour debrief with me via Skype or FaceTime (a $500 value). This is an online assessment and you will receive a report (around 46 to 52 pages) that will allow you to better understand yourself (both strengths and weaknesses). We will spend a little time together talking about how this new insight will help you in your career, life, relationships, and journey.

The Rules

To enter this drawing, all you have to do is leave a comment in the comments section of this post. Pretty simple. You don’t have to comment more than once, that doesn’t help your chances. Remember to leave your name or some identifier so I can announce the winner and contact you. A winner will be picked at random.

The Contest is open until 5 PM (EST), Friday October 3rd, 2014. A winner will be announced shortly after this deadline.

Let the contest begin!

If you have already taken one of these assessments with me, send this to someone you know who could benefit from greater self-awareness and understanding.

Spread the word.

I Will Be There Someday

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Image Courtesy of Angryjogger.com)

Coaching someone is an interesting adventure. You are trying to help someone develop themselves, establish and accomplish their goals, and encourage them when the journey becomes difficult. A typical coaching session includes checking in and checking up on any progress since the last session.

Progress can be slow.

Progress can be hard.

Progress is about making a repeated effort, over and over again.

Having someone else check in with you can be helpful.

Having someone else check in with you can be frustrating.

Sometimes there is great progress.  Sometimes progress is slow. Sometimes obstacles get in the way. When checking in, you can sense when progress has been slow by the tension during the meeting. There is a quiet hesitation as you begin to ask questions.

When frustration builds, answers sort of blurt out.

“I will be there someday…”

Those words told a story. A story of frustration at how steep the journey had become. A story where each subsequent step was harder than the last. A story that felt endless when trying to envision the top of those stairs when standing at the bottom.

Those words told another story. A story with a little hope. A story that needed to rest between steps. A story that needed to remember to occasionally look back, and see that each step was one step closer to the top. A story that despite the hardship, still believed that “I will be there someday.”

Where has your journey become steep? Where has the progress slowed or stopped?

Maybe today is a good day to remind yourself to take that next step, and remember that YOU will be there someday.

 

I Stink at Positivity

Posted on by Carl Weber

When you listen to people, you can hear the funniest things. We were connecting with a friend the other night and were talking about being positive.

“I stink at positivity!” They blurted out.

We all laughed.

For the remainder of our time together I kept coming back to that statement. I haven’t been able to shake it.

Our words reveal so much about us.

We can be so hard on ourselves.

Our words can create self-imposed limits.

We stop pushing against and become defined by those limits.

Spend the next few days listening to your own words, and those around you. Listen especially for the “I am” statements. Once you understand the landscape, maybe a similar approach can be used to reverse the trend.

Instead of limits, we could speak of possibilities.

“My positivity can be better, and I am making progress.”

This conversation reminded me of another recent interaction I had with someone who runs. I kept hearing the same statement over and over.

“I am not a runner.”

When I pressed further, I realized that this person ran about five races last summer. They trained hard, but past self-limits had convinced them that they were not a runner. They had convinced themselves that “a runner” was a specific kind of person who was better, faster, and thinner than they were.

We talked about how contrary this self limit was in the face of the evidence.

Running Shoes: Check.

Running regularly: Check. (But the internal voice kept telling them it wasn’t enough.)

Running outfits: Check.

Running five races: Check.

The evidence was clear: and it added up to a runner.  However, the self-limiting narrative remained. It took few tries, but eventually they were able to articulate the change.

“I am a runner.”

Without these self-imposed limits…we may just Change the World.