Tag: taking the risk

I Will Be There Someday

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Image Courtesy of Angryjogger.com)

Coaching someone is an interesting adventure. You are trying to help someone develop themselves, establish and accomplish their goals, and encourage them when the journey becomes difficult. A typical coaching session includes checking in and checking up on any progress since the last session.

Progress can be slow.

Progress can be hard.

Progress is about making a repeated effort, over and over again.

Having someone else check in with you can be helpful.

Having someone else check in with you can be frustrating.

Sometimes there is great progress.  Sometimes progress is slow. Sometimes obstacles get in the way. When checking in, you can sense when progress has been slow by the tension during the meeting. There is a quiet hesitation as you begin to ask questions.

When frustration builds, answers sort of blurt out.

“I will be there someday…”

Those words told a story. A story of frustration at how steep the journey had become. A story where each subsequent step was harder than the last. A story that felt endless when trying to envision the top of those stairs when standing at the bottom.

Those words told another story. A story with a little hope. A story that needed to rest between steps. A story that needed to remember to occasionally look back, and see that each step was one step closer to the top. A story that despite the hardship, still believed that “I will be there someday.”

Where has your journey become steep? Where has the progress slowed or stopped?

Maybe today is a good day to remind yourself to take that next step, and remember that YOU will be there someday.

 

“I am good as possible”

Posted on by Carl Weber

I live in New Hampshire. With the exception of my time in the Navy and a few years of grad school, I have lived here my whole life.

Every winter, it snows here…a lot. The world slows down, and we tend to hibernate and stay inside more.

I have a confession: I never learned to ski.

Combine this fact with the fact that I agreed to chaperone my daughter’s ski club helped prompt me to do something that I have been meaning to do for years: learn to ski.

At 44 years old, I decided to stop putting this off and start taking a lesson (the Sunday before a Wednesday ski club). Despite my initial fear, of falling and/or making a fool of myself, the lesson went well and I had enough skills to chaperone. Enough skills to get by. I stared to wonder if I needed additional lessons.

I told this story to a friend. This friend had a story for me. Years ago when their young child was learning to ski, their family would spend days on the slopes. Most of the day was spent in lessons, and occasionally they would “free ski” afterwards. Their child had good skills and some natural talent for skiing and could out-ski most of their peers. The lessons continued.

After lunch, most of the family was going to ski the slopes and the young child had to return to their lesson. The child wanted to ski with the rest of the family, but the lesson continued in the afternoon. A meltdown ensued with this youngster trying to find a reason why they didn’t need to continue the lesson.

“I don’t need another lesson. I am good as possible!” they screamed.

We laughed at the story, but those words remained. “I am good as possible.”

How often do we think we are good enough at something and fail to continue to learn and challenge ourselves? When does “good enough” satisfy us so that we stop refining our skills? Lessons can be boring, especially when compared to skiing down the slopes.

For me, I decided to continue with the lessons. But this story and those words caused me to look to at my own life to see where I have shouted “I am good as possible” instead of realizing that I could improve with just a few more lessons.

Learning to Ski

P.S. For anyone who thinks they are too old, tired, experienced, afraid, (insert word here) to try something new, my instructor told me about a 78 year-old grandfather who decided to learn to snowboard so he could go down the slopes at least once with his grandchildren. And he did!

Participants and Observers

Posted on by Carl Weber

The other day we took our oldest daughter to an event. It was the kind of crowded event where people travel for miles to attend with lots of traffic and long lines. We witnessed large groups of people who either dressed up or dressed alike as they walked past us. It was a pretty amazing experience to watch people want to be part of something big.

During the actual event, it became clear that there are two types of people:

Participants, and Observers.

Participants leap with both feet into the experience. Observers watch from the sideline.

Participants take risks. Observers are reserved.

Participants don’t seem to care what others think. Observers are self-conscious.

Participants dress up in goofy costumes. Observers wear their normal clothes.

Participants believe. Observers are skeptics.

My daughter and all of the other Participants seemed to be living life in that moment and letting themselves become lost in the experience as the cares of the world melted away. The Observers seemed resigned to watch, unable to detach from everyday life and its many stresses and problems. Slowly, the Participants encouraged the Observers to join them and be part of the event. As the night wore on, most of us were Participants, even just for a moment.

How often do we find ourselves as Observers when we really want to be Participants? 

Does fear, skepticism, or what others may think, keep us in our seats?

To the Participants: Thank you for jumping in and showing us the way.

To the Observers: You can play too, and it will be worth it.

The Conclusion

Posted on by Carl Weber

This post will make more sense if you read the original post.

Click here for the original adventure post.

Our oldest daughter’s bucket list had this mountain remaining as we set out for attempt number 2.  She will graduate in a few short days, so it became important to try again before she receives her diploma. For the past few weeks it has been cold, but the weather broke and it became just warm enough to hike, but cold enough to ward off the bugs. Duct tape is now a staple of our packing supplies and there was another round of our youngest’s “dam” jokes as we approached the trail.

There is something strange about trying to achieve something that is difficult when you failed the first time. There was a little more determination combined with a little more seriousness in the plan and the pace.

We couldn’t help but talk about shoes that disintegrated and how the first attempt was not successful. With each passing step the goal seemed within reach. New challenges presented themselves with periodic patches of mud and snow (yes there is still snow here on the trails in April), but we pressed on.

This time we had an adventure without the bonus surprise adventure. Sometimes it feels good to have your plans work out without extra stress that the unexpected brings. Certainly the first attempt helped to prepare for the second and brought with it a focus that was not present during the first try. It was interesting to notice the lack of complaining and an increase in encouraging each other that accompanied this new attempt, even though the route was much steeper than the original.

We are going to make it.

You can do it, we are almost there.

I suppose the conclusion is this:

Our first attempts that result in failure can be what helps us succeed IF we try again. Trying again can be hard, but sometimes the view at the top becomes well worth the effort.

The Mountain Top

What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Posted on by Carl Weber

I was meeting with someone the other day who is moving away and making some life changes because their spouse’s job requires it.  During our meeting, we discussed careers and how the recent changes were about to create a real directional shift.  What started as a series of questions regarding their current field took an interesting turn.

 “Are you going to try to find a job in your field?”

“I am not sure, I have been doing this for a while.”

“Well, what did you want to be when you were a kid?”

It is a pretty simple question, but a stunned silence filled the next few moments.  Their face said it all.  There was something deep down that had been with them since their youth, but had not been uttered in years.

“I wanted to be an Egyptologist.”

The remainder of our time together included trying to figure out just exactly how an elementary kid even knew that that job existed.  We tried to determine how long this job idea continued.  It appears to have continued through the beginning of high school.  But reality set in later in school, and the pursuit of more concrete and practical jobs prevailed.  I could see by the spark and enthusiasm that came alive at the mention of this forgotten dream that it still held some power.

“So, where you are going, do they have a good museum?” I asked.

“Yes, yes they do.  Maybe I can try to get a job with them, or at the very least, volunteer some time.”

“Great idea.”

What did YOU want to be when you were a kid?  A pilot, an astronaut, a teacher, a writer, a baker, a dancer, an artist, a hero…an Egyptologist?  It is not too late to reach towards the dream of your youth.  Maybe just remembering will provide the spark you need to try something new.  Go ahead, the world is waiting for you.

Reflections on the Challenge

Posted on by Carl Weber

Where did January go?  If nothing else, the collective challenge helped the weeks go by.  It was strange this morning to wake up and have the freedom to check the news online, but I refrained.

The News.  What is happening in the world?  I don’t know, but I do know what is happening in my world.  I feel a little more connected to people around me, especially my wife and kids.  I feel less negative about the world, the people in it, and the state of the economy (I had to buy a new washing machine so I am totally doing my part).  We actually had our neighbors over for dinner this month (it took 3.5 years to make it happen) but we did it.  I read a few more books this month.

Being Generous.  For the past month I have been trying to find ways to do this one. There were a few opportunities but I hesitated and the moment passed.  I tried to be more generous to those around me this month but that doesn’t count for the challenge so I had to create a plan.  I did.  Tomorrow is the day, and I am going to try it out.  Wish me luck. (Yes, I will be two days late, but it still counts right?)

Dreaming Big.  As for the dreaming big part, I went out on a limb this month.  There is this national conference I attend each year with some colleagues, and in January they sent out an email asking for speakers and ideas for the conference.  A big dream of mine has been to be a speaker at this conference and I took the leap and submitted my idea and topic.

Putting the idea out there was pretty scary but the response has been great.  My colleagues and others voted, made some great comments on my idea.  Time will tell if it becomes a reality at this year’s conference, but the process and taking the risk was helpful.

Hmmm.  I wonder what February will bring?