What is YOUR Legacy?

Sometimes people get right to the point. After about the third sip of a cappuccino with a friend in a local coffee shop, they asked me this question.

“What is your legacy?”

Still trying to sip some of the foam from the cup… “What?”

“You know, what is it that you hope to leave behind? What are you building? What impact to you hope to have beyond yourself and how will it remain?

The question challenged me. The question made me wonder about how we live our lives. My mind started to wander towards goals. Goals are great, but far too often, goals have a starting point and an endpoint. Once the goal is accomplished, we reach the destination and we stop.

A legacy is something you are building. Building something and arriving at a destination are not the same thing. A legacy challenges us to build our entire lives. A destination is simply a place we came to and stopped.

These thoughts wandered further towards the concept of retirement. For many retirement is a destination. Once you have enough resources, you arrive at your destination…and stop. You stop working, stop connecting, and stop building.

Legacy is calling. It is calling us to keep creating, keep contributing, and keep building. Legacy says there is still more to be done. Legacy shatters the myth that all of our accumulated experience and knowledge is no longer needed. Legacy reminds us that we are valuable, and the world needs us.

One simple question remains. 

What is YOUR Legacy?

Understanding the Differences

The Differences
Helping others on their journey is one of my favorite things. There are times it is important to gather some of these people together. When in a group, we discuss how their particular styles impact others to help the other people understand the differences among them.

During a recent session we were discussing differences around a creative approach versus a more practical approach. We talked about how each person may see things, and how these differences may manifest.

One person is more practical, the other is more creative. As we were taking, I glanced down at the participants notebooks. Their notebooks clearly provided the illustration I needed during our time together. They are different people, each bringing something valuable to the relationship. Understanding those differences helps each of them see the world from the other person’s viewpoint. It is this kind of understanding that helps move beyond conflict and deepens relationships.  

Our notebooks are different. We are different. We all have something we bring to the table, the relationship, or the workplace. Sometimes opening up your notebook is the first step towards understanding.

Opportunities or Obstacles?

We are all faced with tasks or assignments that are not always our first choice. Some are placed upon us from others, some just arrive at our doorstep. I am not talking about the great tasks we enjoy, and are excited about starting. These are the tasks that you would rather not complete. The tasks we tend to procrastinate.

What makes these tasks less desirable? Sometimes these tasks are just unpleasant, but more often a different pattern emerges. These tasks typically invoke a fear or insecurity that wakes the narrator. These tasks combined with that negative voice become large obstacles.  Obstacles that cause us to stop.

More recently, I have recognized this pattern. Now when that task combines with my inner voice I pause and size up the obstacle. Is it really as bad as I thought? Will I really fail completely?  Probably not!

At these times I reflect on something I heard recently. (I cannot remember where I heard it so if you can attribute it, let me know.)

“Do the next thing you know the least about…”

This reminds me to push beyond the obstacle, and look for the opportunity. Will it be perfect? Nope. Will I learn? Yes. 

As scary at it can seem, I am looking forward to the next opportunity. I just have to remind my narrator to be quiet, because I have work to do!

The Successful Solution Trap

The Successful Solution

Success is great. The trouble with success is that over time, you begin to rely on that success the next time. And the next time, and the next. The prior solution may have been great, and after a few successes, you may even have a few various solutions up your sleeve. Maybe you even have five. But these are a pretty solid five solutions that have worked in the past. You rely on them, and they solved a lot of issues.

But what about when there is a need that doesn’t match your five?  How many times is someone describing their issue, their problem, their need and you are just trying to figure out how to make it fit into one of your solutions?

This success solution trap became real to me a few weeks ago.  I took a call.  I listened for a few minutes.  I had a plan.

“This should solve your issue, and I will send over an outline.”

I opened up an old document that was a successful solution in the past, made a few changes and sent it over.  The reply was not what I was expecting.

“What is this? How is this going to solve our issue?”

I stepped back and replayed the call in my mind while looking at my notes. I was so worried about fitting their issue into my solution, I even ignored my own notes. Shortly after, I re-drafted a new solution and sent it over. It was the right fit, and much more creative than my old canned solution.

It takes a little more work, but new creativity beats old successful solutions. I want to learn from the past successful solutions, but not become a slave to them.

100 Blog Posts…100 Lessons

This is it, my 100th Blog Entry.  A friend suggested that I write about what I learned over the past year (and a few months) when I reach this milestone.  These are the lessons I learned along the way.

1.  Some days blogging is hard.

2.  Some days blogging is easy.

3.  Writing is much different from presenting or speaking.

4.  Writer’s block stinks.

5.  Writing takes discipline.

6.  Discipline is not my favorite thing.

7.  Blogging connects you to the world.

8.  Blogs encourage other people to write.

9.  Keep reading and learning.

10.  Kids provide a lot of material.

11.  Work provides a lot of material.

12.  Life provides a lot of material.

13.  Be open about your own failures.

14.  Write about when you fail.

15.  Write about when you succeed.

16.  Remember that not everyone in the world reads your blog.

17.  Remember that not everyone in your own circles reads your blog.

18.  Try to write at least once a week.

19.  Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t write.

20.  Your followers are important.

21.  The number of followers is not important.

22.  Be vulnerable.

23.  Read other people’s blogs.

24.  When you have an idea for a blog, write it down, or make a voice recording in your phone.  If you don’t, you will forget.

25.  Find a time and place to write that doesn’t distract you.

26.  Find a great editor.

27.  My wife is a great editor.

28.  Don’t expect your editor to edit at the last-minute just because you want to get your blog posted.

29.  The titles of your blogs matter.

30.  Don’t be obsessed with checking the stats counter.

31.  Some people find your blog by accident.

32.  Some people try hard to become a blog entry.

33.  Some people are horrified at the thought of becoming a blog entry.

34.  First, do no harm.

35.  Your stories are your perspective, not absolute truth.

36.  Think.

37.  Think before you write.

38.  Read your posts before you hit the publish button.

39.  Save often.

40.  Don’t be snarky.

41.  The posts you wrestle with the most, resonate with most.

42.  Write about what you need to change in yourself.

43.  Sarcasm is not your friend.

44.  Humor works, but not at the expense of others.

45.  Suggest, don’t direct.

46.  If you get a ton of hits in one day, it is because they are looking for something or someone else.

47.  Take the risk.

48.  Be yourself.

49.  Respond to comments.

50.  This is halfway through the list of 100 Lessons.

51.  Don’t be frustrated when it doesn’t save, the next draft will be even better.

52.  Don’t place limits on yourself.

53.  Use spell check.

54.  Observe life.

55.  Follow through is important.

56.  Don’t be afraid.

57.  When you re-post something, like a Ted.com talk, some people consider that cheating.

58.  When all else fails, re-post something.

59.  When you are stuck, try a survey.

60.  Try to leave this world a better place.

61.  You are creative.

62.  Be creative.

63.  Share your gifts.

64.  Your Narrator will fight against you when you write.

65.  It is fun/scary when your kids read your blog.

66.  It is fun/scary when your parents read your blog.

67.  Helping just one person on their journey is worth it.

68.  Don’t rant.

69.  Only make a list of 100 things once (it is harder than you thought).

70.  Be humble.

71.  Set yearly goals.

72.  Be accountable.

73.  Connect with other people in real life.

74.  Don’t be upset that your most popular post was not about you.

75.  Listen to other people’s story.

76.  Sometimes great story’s will find you.

77.  Be the hero in someone’s story.

78.  Fame and importance are not the same thing.

79.  Be important.

80.  Try to be better in your actual life.

81.  Be thankful.

82.  Dream big.

83.  Brace for failure.

84.  Get back up.

85.  Remind yourself that you are okay.

86.  Remain teachable.

87.  Coffee helps…but not too much.

88.  Bounce ideas off others.

89.  Don’t take criticism too personally.

90.  Find your voice.

91.  Help others.

92.  Tell your story.

93.  Try.

94.  Try again.

95.  You will get better the more you write.

96.  You will make an impact.

97.  You cannot make an impact by keeping your thoughts inside.

98.  Don’t give up.

99.  Know yourself.

100.  Keep trying to Change the World!

The Long Hardened Road

800px-The_Long_Road_Ahead

Photo by Jon Rawlinson accessed on Wikimedia Commons

While working with a group we were discussing the stress associated with their jobs.  We discussed the role of that emotional intelligence plays in dealing with that stress, and how their glass can become cloudy.  The conversation took an interesting turn.

The cloudy glass image helped them identify their current emotional state, but did not address the larger picture.

They were on a journey.  They began their careers with hopes, dreams, and a passion to serve.  Over the years, the negative or stressful parts of their job, caused a hardness to form.  With every subsequent negative event, they would take a step down a long hardened road.

This journey was not overnight.  Each step was subtle, and not readily noticeable.  Days passed.  Weeks passed.  Years passed.  One day they found themselves becoming so hardened, so far down that road that they were was almost unrecognizable.

“How did we get so far down this road?”

“When did we become so hardened towards the job and the people?”

“How do we get back?”

The trouble with incremental steps is the difficulty noticing the change.  They never planned to go so far down that road, to become so hardened.  It was just one step.  But one step became another, and another, and another.  It wasn’t until they looked back years later that they saw the distance they had traveled.

I began to wonder.  How many times does this happen to us?  A bad event happens, and it hardens us.  Then another comes our way.  Another disappointment, another failure, another hardship.  We begin to walk down that road and the result is a hardness as our hopes and dreams fade.

Where have you walked down this road?  How can you begin to take a step back?  This group collectively agreed to find their way back.  May we all find the strength follow them.