Category: Making a Difference

Go Ask Them

Posted on by Carl Weber

Go Ask Them (1)

Friendship has been on my mind lately.

How do friendships work? What makes the best friends? Am I a good friend? What do we need most from friends?

In the past I offered advice for bad friends, but what about the good ones? How do you cultivate solid friends in life?

The other day while discussing friendship with my Bride, I got some solid advice.

“So, friendships and what makes the best ones have been swirling around in my head.”

“Are you going to write about friendship?”

“I think so, but I am not sure where to get the best information to write about friends.”

“Why don’t you Go Ask Them?”

Great advice.

And Go Ask Them is what I did.

The next few posts will summarize the results.

But.

Just as my finger was about to hit the POST button this morning, it dawned on me how that advice was universally brilliant.

Wondering how to better connect with your employees?

Go Ask Them.

Wondering what new offerings would best serve your customers?

Go Ask Them.

Wondering how to be a better spouse or partner?

Go Ask Them.

Wondering how to be a better parent to your kids?

Go Ask Them.

Wondering what role would best help your aging parents?

Go Ask Them.

Sometimes we just assume we know best. We have an idea and run with it. We are trying to help.

We don’t always meet the mark.

Next time, follow the advice.

Go Ask Them.

Make Something Scary Cool

Posted on by Carl Weber

A simple goal.

Make Something.

An idea, a concept, business, service, book, blog, website, or product.

A simple criteria.

Scary Cool.

Scary – A push beyond easy. This Something may require movement through fear, doubt, and insecurity to excitement and exhilaration.

Cool – Something beyond the ordinary that is exciting and worth buying, investing in, partnering with, telling others about, or purchasing.

Go. Create. Start.

Make Something Scary Cool.

We are all waiting.

 

Advice for a New Job/Year

Posted on by Carl Weber

Old Email

While cleaning out some old piles of paperwork, one sheet of paper caught my eye. A printed copy of an email from 18 years ago.

Words of advice from my first boss and mentor on the eve of taking a new job. The first real job after college.

The advice resonated today just as much as it did those many years ago.

  1. Follow through on what you said
  2. Build relationships
  3. Find out what is important to your staff and other people
  4. Life is more than work
  5. Relationships are built on trust and take time
  6. Study the budget – it is your tool/guide for the year
  7. Most of all have fun (when it stops being fun, it is time to move to something else)

Thank you Michael for the words, advice, and guidance. These words helped me in the first job, and should help us all as the new year begins.

Becoming Equals

Posted on by Carl Weber

They needed some coaching, so you helped encourage and develop.

You needed to run your first 5K, so they helped you train.

They needed to lose weight, so you helped with healthy options, accountability, and support.

You needed assistance with strategy, so they helped provide perspective, options, and focus.

They needed to find a better career, relationship, or life-goal, so you provided some guidance.

You were a little scattered and out there, so they helped organize and ground you.

They were a little structured and serious, so you helped them be messy and fun.

These relationships start in interesting ways.

One of you needs something, and the other is there to help.

At first the roles were clear.

One of you is the expert, coach, parent, mentor, counselor, or consultant. The other one needs what you have.

One of you is giving, the other is receiving.

Typically this approach only works for the short-term. Once the need is met, you disengage and move on.

But sometimes, these relationship continue.

These relationships begin to change.

You are Becoming Equals.

What was once mentoring becomes mutual assistance or expertise.

What was once consulting becomes sharing ideas together.

What was once coaching becomes both playing at the same level.

What was once parenting becomes more like a friendship.

Becoming Equals doesn’t happen overnight.

Becoming Equals requires both of you to shift.

Becoming Equals allows both of you to shine.

One day you notice the person who use to run a few steps behind you is now at your side, and even ahead of you.

One day you are both leading.

One day you are both moving forward.

There is a time and place for the first roles.

But there is something more.

Something better.

Becoming Equals may be what makes relationships really great.

Becoming Equals may be what makes relationships last.

 

The Efficiency Expert

Posted on by Carl Weber

They are in every organization. They look at your process, workflow, or procedures and wonder why you are doing things that way.

They scan the world and see what you cannot see: wasted time, wasted effort, wasted energy.

They may be perceived as complaining, but they are not. They are trying to maximize the return for their own time and others.

They are the ones close enough to the action, the actual work, to understand where it can improve.

You may feel threatened, especially if you created the original way or process.

You may not be doing the work anymore, and are not close enough to find better ways.

You may need to listen, and let them help you.

I have my own personal Efficiency Expert.

She is the youngest of four.

Sometimes I misinterpret her motives as complaining or procrastination, but she doesn’t want to waste time or energy.

She finds better ways of doing routine tasks.

She challenges the old way, my way, and many times finds a better way.

The Efficiency Expert - Dishes

“You need to unload the dishwasher.”

“Ok, but this takes so much time.”

“Unload the dishwasher.”

“Ok, but this takes so much time…and I have an idea for next time. Why don’t we all put the silverware together in the same little bin instead of just dumping it in all mixed up.”

“Why would we want to do that?”

“Because just putting it in randomly seems like no big deal until you have to unload and put the silverware away. If we all spent a little more time loading the dishwasher, unloading becomes so much easier and faster. The silverware is already pre-sorted and you just have to pick it up and put it away.”

“You are amazing!”

“I know.”

The Efficiency Expert is in your home, office, or workplace. They can help you and the whole organization when you learn to listen.

Swords Up

Posted on by Carl Weber

Arwen-LOTR

We watched epic movies together, and it felt like a journey and perhaps reminded us of our own Hero’s Journey.

During the years while the original movies were playing, this same group of close friends would chat via various messaging programs (texting wasn’t as cool back then) and it provided a way to connect. We would leave small words of encouragement, or check in when we knew one of the others were struggling.

But (yes it is a little goofy) we would also periodically change our picture or icon to represent one of the Lord of the Rings characters that resonated with us. When we knew that there were specific obstacles, resistance, or doubt one of us would type:

Swords Up!

And all the icons or pictures would change. They were the same characters, but this time wielding a sword.

Legolas

As I drove home from my meeting the other day when the Lord of the Rings soundtrack was playing, I remembered those two words: Swords Up.

eowyn

Those swords were a show of protection, defense, and willingness to fight alongside each other.

If Joseph Campbell is right, great stories are pretty much the same and give us a glimpse of the life we are capable of leading. And maybe, just maybe it is friends who are willing to put their Swords Up for and with you that make all the difference.

Thanks Friends, and for old times sake: Swords Up!

Sword