Cross-Examine the Narrator

That Narrator.

That voice.

The one who cuts you down.

The one who seems to have a job description to regularly review your faults and past failures and bring a case against you.

We can try to silence the Narrator, but simply recognizing and trying to ignore that voice is not always enough.

During a coaching session we talked about the Narrator, and how often it reminds us of faults or short-comings. And, how when we silence that voice in one area or approach, the Narrator seems to find another angle, another strategy, another way to try to disrupt us.

But there is another way.

Cross-Examine the Narrator.

Instead of just taking in these words, these accusations, maybe it is time for us to examine the evidence, and take issue with these old approaches and rehashing of past failures.

Maybe it is time we put the Narrator on the stand after each statement or accusation that is leveled against us.

“Well you are not very consistent, if you were, you would be more successful. Look at the time you have wasted, and where you could be today.”

Hold on a second, now it is my turn and in my best pretend courtroomy lawyerly voice.

“I may not always be consistent, but part of my behavioral style allows me to be flexible and move quickly which is a strong quality. And as far as success, I am successful and here are the areas that I have had great success. [list of the evidence]”

“Yes, but…”

“So, you agree that I have had successes, but you keep insisting on bringing up old news, or old events. Your honor, I move to dismiss all charges.”

“I object!”

“Object all you want. You have no case. You have no relevant facts, and your accusations are groundless and are more of a distraction. Case dismissed!”

Don’t let the Narrator’s voice go unchallenged.

Speak up and Cross-Examine the Narrator.

Present the evidence.

Be tough on that voice that has been tough on you.

Dismiss the case against you.

Move forward and be free.

Yes

Yes

Yes.

But I am tired.

Yes.

But I want to rest.

Yes.

But I would much rather [insert distraction here].

Yes.

But it will be hard.

Yes.

But I may fail.

Yes.

But people may laugh at me.

Yes.

But I am afraid.

Yes.

But I am not qualified.

Yes.

But I am not ready.

Yes.

Learning to say Yes while wading through the obstacle swamp our minds and bodies create for us may make all the difference.

Timid Anchors and Storms

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We need anchors.

Connections to something real.

Reminders of who we are.

Solid tethers to what is true.

Storms come.

Physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually…

Some storms are generated by our insecurity.

Other storms are the result of another’s activity.

Some storms just seem to come without warning.

Anchors need to be strong and solid, not timid.

Timid anchors give the illusion of strength.

Timid anchors are lightly attached on the surface.

Timid anchors will break free when tested.

Find your anchors.

Test the timid anchors.

Relocate them to solid ground.

Storms will come again.

May your anchors hold.

 

Disqualified

 

Disqualified

You were not good at math. You were easily distracted. You got an F. You got more than one F. You lost your temper. You messed up. You lost the account. You didn’t get into college. You didn’t tell the whole story. You said the wrong thing. You didn’t lose the weight. You were a bad friend. You got fired. You spoiled the party. You quit the team. You stopped calling. You didn’t get science. You made the mistake. You struggled with[insert name here].

Sometimes events make us draw conclusions. We were not good at math therefore we will never be good at math. We spoiled the party, therefore we will always spoil the party, so we should not be invited. We quit the team, therefore we are a quitter. We struggle with a pattern of behavior, therefore we will never overcome.

But worse than giving up, we become disqualified.

Disqualified is when the past is allowed to remove you from future opportunities, growth, or development.

Disqualified is a limitation on our potential.

Disqualified is keeping us from making a difference.

Disqualified is when struggles keep you from helping others.

Disqualified is a lifetime ban.

But, maybe there is no Disqualified status.

Maybe we misunderstood the value of the journey, the struggle, and the failure.

Maybe the fact that we struggle, fail, quit, mess up, and lose are the very things that qualify us to make an impact.

Maybe others need to know that we struggle as well.

Maybe we can learn, grow, develop, and be.

Maybe the future is wide open.

Maybe we are qualified.

Recalibrating the GPS

It started as a simple conversation about running, pace, and times. We both opened up the app on our phones and talked about some of the struggles, successes, and challenges ahead while scrolling through the history.

Then it came out.

“I must need to recalibrate the GPS, I am not that fast.”

As I heard those words, I couldn’t help myself.

“Really? You have been training hard, staying on schedule, and when you make progress, why does your first thought assume something is wrong with the GPS? Why do you discount your achievements?”

Pause.

Another Pause.

“Well historically…”

“In the past…”

“I used to not…”

All of next few statements were not about the present reality, or celebrating the accomplishment. All were focused on the past.

Past limits. Past thoughts. Past obstacles.

I listened for a few minutes.

“Sounds like is not your GPS that needs recalibrating.”

When do you discount your achievements? When does your past invade the present to take away the things you accomplish? When does your first thought assume that it must be the equipment or a false reading because it cannot be you that reached the goal?

Maybe we could all use a recalibration.

But We Ran

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Running this winter has been hard. Layer upon layer. Attempts to cover every inch of exposed surfaces. Runs when temperatures dropped from single digits to zero and below before we ended.

But we ran.

The combination of record cold and record snow has combined to create what we are affectionately calling “winter fatigue.”

But we ran.

This has not been our fastest year. Many of our times have slowed. We became sick, tired, frustrated, injured, and cold.

But we ran.

We ran on days when it was dark. We ran on days when the wind almost stopped all forward progress.

But we ran.

Despite spring arriving on the calendar, we have had near record cold again. Winter seems to want to keep us in a state of hibernation. Days that should be in the 40s and 50s have been in the 30s.

But we ran.

What is coming our way next?

More weather, more illness, more injury, more road blocks, more [insert term here] issues?

I am not sure. There is only one thing I know for sure.

We will run.