Category: Our Behaviors

The “My Way” Blind Spot

Posted on by Carl Weber

We all have blind spots.  You have them, I have them, we all have them.  The hardest part about blind spots is that we do not see them.  I suppose that is why we call them “blind spots.”  When this happens while driving, another car can essentially disappear from view, yet be right beside us. If we turn or change lanes, the damage will be immediate and severe.

When our blind spots are personal, the damage is no less great, but they can occur gradually…almost without our notice.  Until we discover our personal blind spots (typically because someone else points them out) we tend to just plug along not realizing the damage we are causing by this inherent flaw in our perspective.

Recently I discovered that I suffer from the “My Way” blind spot.  This was reluctantly pointed out to me by my team after I wanted a project to be done a certain way.  The banter between them went something like this…

“You mean you wanted it done the “Carl Weber Way?”

“Yeah, it is like Carlito’s Way, only with less violence.”

“Most of the time when you assign a project we will end up doing it your way in the end, even if we have other ideas.”

I was stunned.  I resisted the natural urge to defend myself and just listened.  Arguing about your blind spot is as foolish as turning your car into that crowded lane because you just know there is no car there…while hearing the crash.  Instead I listened.  I really listened.  It became clear that the “My Way” blind spot was real and having an impact on others.  My tendency to delegate without freedom created tension and a lack of trust.  Over time, this can create followers who feel unable to be creative or do things their own way.

Identifying the blind spot was the first step.  The next, and much harder step, is trying to figure out how to change a pattern of behavior that I didn’t know existed.  It will not be easy, but leading well never is.  I will have to check those mirrors a little more often before changing lanes.

What is your blind spot?  Where are you speeding along without seeing what is right beside you?  Are you causing unaware damage?

My advice today is simple: Listen and look.  But be prepared to deal with what you find.

Taking a Vacation From…

Posted on by Carl Weber

We are taking a vacation.  Yes, it just so happens that next week is vacation but that is not the vacation that matters.  Last night while tucking the kids into bed we had an idea. We should take a vacation from something that isn’t working for us.

This week was a short week because of a holiday, and for some reason we all seemed to have more homework, stress and projects that ended up increasing the grumpy dialogue between us.  Last night while tucking everyone in, we decided to take a vacation.  A vacation from raising our voices to each other.

Why not take a vacation from that one thing for the next week? Spend today thinking about that one thing that you should put on the shelf for the next 7 days…and put it away. The next week you have a free pass from engaging in that thing.  It may not be helping you anyway.

What do you need a vacation from?  Raising your voice?  Being critical? Procrastination?  Fear?  Being Snarkey?

For us, we came up with a code if one of us begins to violate our new vacation agreement:

“I’m sorry, we are on vacation!”

You deserve a vacation.  Perhaps those around you do as well.

Reflections on the Challenge

Posted on by Carl Weber

Where did January go?  If nothing else, the collective challenge helped the weeks go by.  It was strange this morning to wake up and have the freedom to check the news online, but I refrained.

The News.  What is happening in the world?  I don’t know, but I do know what is happening in my world.  I feel a little more connected to people around me, especially my wife and kids.  I feel less negative about the world, the people in it, and the state of the economy (I had to buy a new washing machine so I am totally doing my part).  We actually had our neighbors over for dinner this month (it took 3.5 years to make it happen) but we did it.  I read a few more books this month.

Being Generous.  For the past month I have been trying to find ways to do this one. There were a few opportunities but I hesitated and the moment passed.  I tried to be more generous to those around me this month but that doesn’t count for the challenge so I had to create a plan.  I did.  Tomorrow is the day, and I am going to try it out.  Wish me luck. (Yes, I will be two days late, but it still counts right?)

Dreaming Big.  As for the dreaming big part, I went out on a limb this month.  There is this national conference I attend each year with some colleagues, and in January they sent out an email asking for speakers and ideas for the conference.  A big dream of mine has been to be a speaker at this conference and I took the leap and submitted my idea and topic.

Putting the idea out there was pretty scary but the response has been great.  My colleagues and others voted, made some great comments on my idea.  Time will tell if it becomes a reality at this year’s conference, but the process and taking the risk was helpful.

Hmmm.  I wonder what February will bring?

Maybe Your Boss Is Right?

Posted on by Carl Weber

Okay, okay, bear with me on this one.  I was listening to a friend talk about not railing against your boss, your employer, your job or your organization.  The message really resonated with me and I realized how often we hear this in everyday conversations. Are there bad bosses?  Yes, they made a movie about that.  Are there bad jobs?  Again, yes.  Is the boss always wrong?  Maybe not.

The benefit of working with so many individuals across various workplaces is themes begin to appear.  This theme or sentiment seems pretty ingrained with a lot of us.  A while ago while working with a leader, they described that the real conflict was with their boss. The lack of trust, and second guessing that their boss did made the situation impossible for this leader to function.

The more we talked, the more I asked questions about what was actually happening in this leader’s workplace.  Towards the end of our time together I had one final question.

“Now that we talked about what is really happening in your operation, was your boss right or wrong?” I asked.

There was a long pause.

And another.

“Right, [expletive], it.”

The revelation was clear.  The boss was trying their best to coach this leader about an identified problem in their operation.  The boss was right.  The leader could not see the problem, but focused on the issue with the boss instead.  The whole time this leader was fighting against the boss, valuable time had been lost and the situation was getting worse.

My friend’s message and this meeting made me think about my own life.  How often do I take something personally or let my ego get in the way of becoming a better leader, manager, husband, father or employee?

I am taking my friend’s advice to identify these situations and try to be a little more humble.  Whenever I find myself disagreeing or saying that someone is “wrong” I take a step back.  Maybe the boss (or whoever is trying to tell me something) is right.

Marketing, Product Placement, and Us

Posted on by Carl Weber

As part of this collective challenge I have been avoiding the news.  At the same time, I began a new marketing class online.  The class is helping us understand how companies market to existing or potential customers.  This has created a renewed awareness of the existence of the marketing, advertisements, and product placement all around us.

Not that I didn’t see these attempts in the past, but with the more limited self-imposed access to normal media outlets, my senses seemed to notice the attempts more and more.

With the onset of the DVR, I typically fast forward through most commercials, and seldom watch live TV, but while on the treadmill (no DVR down there) I do see ads, but not as often as I should.  This is what I noticed yesterday.  Apparently I should be alarmed that I am being held hostage from my cable company, should switch my car insurance – but not to “one of those cut-rate” companies, need to eat lots and lots of fast food with more chili on it, and pepper has antioxidants.

By the way, I am not opposed to ads.  I watch the Superbowl ads, and I always enjoy a good funny ad.  Just last night we were sitting around talking about the VW ad with the barking dogs singing Star Wars (at first I thought I had dreamed it which made for a pretty funny conversation last night, but yes it is real) that is a preview for their next Superbowl ad.  Does this make me want to buy a VW, no but the dogs are great.

Companies must be on to me, and the rest of us.  They know we don’t buy news papers, get most of our news online (except for this month), throw away junk mail, but still purchase things.  Product placement appears to be the next way to get our attention.  Back to VW, I was watching a show the other night, and the entire episode was essentially a VW commercial veiled in a sitcom…sneaky.  My family is beginning to notice the product placement as well.

“A DSW shoe box, right there on the shelf!”

“Look at all the Macs, everyone uses them in this show.”

“That looks like an iPhone, but they blurred it out.”

Companies are trying to be creative in their way to find us, but I am curious, do these ads or attempts change your buying habits?  How do they find you?  Why do you buy the things you do?  (Feel free to respond, I am curious about how ads or product placement work with real people…with you.)

Keep up the challenge, we only have eight more days!  If you haven’t participated in the poll yet, please do, the feedback I get from each of you is great.

P.S. Sometimes pesky ads appear at the bottom of this blog, and I will fix that soon, I need to upgrade it and will do that shortly.

Collective Challenge Day 6 (My 50th Post!)

Posted on by Carl Weber

Two ceremonious events collide today:

1.  We are just about done with our first week of the challenge, and the comments (especially from yesterday’s post) and the phone call from a friend confirmed that we are doing something great together.  Sometimes I wonder if these ideas, questions, or challenges are just ramblings…and it is typically when I am doubting this blog or myself that one of you confirms the impact it has had on your actual life. It is this confirmation that helps us press on together.

2.  This is my 50th post!  This is a milestone.  As I shared with you before, I have not always been the type to sit down and set yearly goals.  Last year I did.  One of those goals was to actually write on a regular basis.  I was inspired by a friend who helped me realize that I didn’t have to write an entire book in a weekend, but could begin by regularly disciplining myself to write.  

Remember part of this challenge is to Dream Big.  Sometimes once you identify that dream, trying to figure out how to accomplish it can be overwhelming.  But the first step is making a decision to start towards that dream.

It was gaining the understanding that a small decision made every day could really change your life that helped me know where to begin.  I didn’t have to do it all at once, and neither do you.  This blog is the result of a small scary decision made on a regular basis!

I know I say this a lot, but thanks again for being part of this journey together.