Category: Being Thankful

The Conclusion

Posted on by Carl Weber

This post will make more sense if you read the original post.

Click here for the original adventure post.

Our oldest daughter’s bucket list had this mountain remaining as we set out for attempt number 2.  She will graduate in a few short days, so it became important to try again before she receives her diploma. For the past few weeks it has been cold, but the weather broke and it became just warm enough to hike, but cold enough to ward off the bugs. Duct tape is now a staple of our packing supplies and there was another round of our youngest’s “dam” jokes as we approached the trail.

There is something strange about trying to achieve something that is difficult when you failed the first time. There was a little more determination combined with a little more seriousness in the plan and the pace.

We couldn’t help but talk about shoes that disintegrated and how the first attempt was not successful. With each passing step the goal seemed within reach. New challenges presented themselves with periodic patches of mud and snow (yes there is still snow here on the trails in April), but we pressed on.

This time we had an adventure without the bonus surprise adventure. Sometimes it feels good to have your plans work out without extra stress that the unexpected brings. Certainly the first attempt helped to prepare for the second and brought with it a focus that was not present during the first try. It was interesting to notice the lack of complaining and an increase in encouraging each other that accompanied this new attempt, even though the route was much steeper than the original.

We are going to make it.

You can do it, we are almost there.

I suppose the conclusion is this:

Our first attempts that result in failure can be what helps us succeed IF we try again. Trying again can be hard, but sometimes the view at the top becomes well worth the effort.

The Mountain Top

Opportunities or Obstacles?

Posted on by Carl Weber

We are all faced with tasks or assignments that are not always our first choice. Some are placed upon us from others, some just arrive at our doorstep. I am not talking about the great tasks we enjoy, and are excited about starting. These are the tasks that you would rather not complete. The tasks we tend to procrastinate.

What makes these tasks less desirable? Sometimes these tasks are just unpleasant, but more often a different pattern emerges. These tasks typically invoke a fear or insecurity that wakes the narrator. These tasks combined with that negative voice become large obstacles.  Obstacles that cause us to stop.

More recently, I have recognized this pattern. Now when that task combines with my inner voice I pause and size up the obstacle. Is it really as bad as I thought? Will I really fail completely?  Probably not!

At these times I reflect on something I heard recently. (I cannot remember where I heard it so if you can attribute it, let me know.)

“Do the next thing you know the least about…”

This reminds me to push beyond the obstacle, and look for the opportunity. Will it be perfect? Nope. Will I learn? Yes. 

As scary at it can seem, I am looking forward to the next opportunity. I just have to remind my narrator to be quiet, because I have work to do!

What is in your pocket?

Posted on by Carl Weber

I was at a conference the other day and while approaching a table at dinner, someone called out,

“What is in your pocket?”

The rest of the table looked puzzled as I reached into my pocket, but my pocket was empty that day.

“Sadly nothing today, I guess they are getting older.”

I had to take a seat and explain.  Years ago, my middle daughter started a tradition when I would leave the house.  She would take some toy, rock, or piece of jewelry and give to me to have in my pocket that day.  It wasn’t everyday.  It typically centered around my presentation days.  (Maybe it was because I was more dressed up, or in fact more stressed out on those days.)

This handing me a toy became a dramatic emotional filled moment for her.

“Daddy, take this with you so you won’t forget me.”

“Daddy, this is for you today so you will remember me.”

Before one event, I was up in the front of the room making sure everything was ready to present.  I was nervous, it was a large group.  To help calm my nerves, I reached in my pocket.  I pulled out a little plastic animal and I was suddenly reminded that there was this little girl who loved me and wanted to be remembered today. The nerves faded, and the presentation went forward.

The session ended, and we had a question and answer time.  Various questions came, but there was one hand that popped up at the end.  I knew something was up by the strange smile on the person’s face.  At first, I thought they were going to try to stump me with a question.

“One final question…what is in your pocket?”

Apparently they had seen me gripping this little toy before the session.  I showed the group, and explained the story.  Much to my surprise, a few weeks later at the end of another presentation, another hand went up.

“What is in your pocket?”

The word had spread, and for most of those days, my daughter had in fact given me something for my pocket.  It wasn’t every time, but enough to build a reputation.  As she grew, the tradition began to fade.  Then one day, while hastily getting ready to leave one morning, my youngest game up for the typical kiss/hug combination before I raced to the car. She paused for just a moment.

“Daddy, this is for you today.  So you won’t forget me.”

What reminder do you need today?  What small reminder that you are loved and are not alone in this journey would brighten your day?  Go ahead and put it in your pocket today.  It is amazing how your perspective changes when you reach in that pocket.

I often wonder if they realize how much that small token helped me on those stressed filled days.  Sometimes the simplest reminder bring perspective back.

My daughters were right.  I didn’t forget them.

Time

Posted on by Carl Weber

Yesterday was the first day wearing my watch in almost two years.  This watch had been sitting dormant because of its need for some major repairs.  For most people, a watch is just a way to keep track of time, but this watch is something different (or at least it was supposed to be different).  This watch and I have been together for 20 years.

A few short days after graduating from high school, I woke up each day in the Navy. Every day was planned, structured, and dictated by someone else.  Days were long, routine, and blended together and I never wore a watch.  There was never really a reason to wear a watch when each day was someone else’s and you were just along for the ride.

But as my four-year journey was coming to an end, I began to think.  Maybe spending all that time at sea gives you time with your thoughts that the average person doesn’t normally have in life…or maybe it was just breathing all that salt-filled air.  My thoughts were filled with plans, ideas, and goals for life.

One of the first things I did upon my return (besides rushing down to start dating the woman who would ultimately become my wife) was to buy myself this watch.  It took a while to find the right watch.  Something nice, but not too nice.  Something that would last, and stay in style.

Eventually, I found the watch I was looking for and in an overly ceremonious way, purchased the watch.  After unwrapping it, and placing it on my wrist, I told myself something as it rested there for the first time.

“Your time is now your own, and this should be a reminder to make the most of it.”

This reminder helped me through harder times ahead, through college exams, moving and changing jobs, and periodic failures in life.  The reminder was present at amazing times of our wedding, kids, first houses and jobs, and establishing a life together.

Yesterday as I drove to work, sat in meetings, went to a parent-teacher conference, shopped for school supplies, and came home, the watch was there.  Periodically while glancing down at the movement of the hands, I was reminded of my words to myself so long ago.  It was as if for a moment, I was receiving a reminder and a challenge from my 22-year-old self.

“Your time is still your own, are you making the most of it?”

The Adventure Within (the Adventure)

Posted on by Carl Weber

The Adventure Within (the Adventure)We try to get outdoors as often as we can as a family.  With all of the work, school, life, and errands, this can be a real challenge.  As part of the yearly goal setting, hiking a certain mountain where we live was on the list for 2012.

Labor day weekend seemed like the logical choice for us, and this hike was on one of the oldest daughter’s “bucket list” for college.

What a perfect way to cross off a goal on a few lists while spending some quality time with the girls.  Our backpacks were full of snacks, water, supplies, band aids, eye drops, extra allergy medicine, bug spray and a few random things like headphones and a few toys.

The route was selected based on a consensus of research.  The route was a bit longer but a less steep path since this mountain is bigger than our casual small hikes of the past.  Walking sticks in hand, our small tribe’s adventure began.  The day was perfect, mid 70’s with a cool breeze and good spirits all around.  We were entertained by a series of jokes at the expense of a small dam.

“Looks like we are on the dam trail.”

“Hey, I am walking on the dam footbridge.”

” Welcome to the dam, I will be your dam tour guide, and I will be here to answer all of your dam questions.”

“Hey, is that the damn dam over there?”  (It got a little out of hand, and we had to redirect the conversation.)

After about an hour, our middle daughter mentions that the tread on the tip of her boot is coming loose.  We stop, and a small bungee like cord from a backpack wrapped around the toe seems to solve our problem.  We hike on.  After a short while, she mentions her boots again.

“Ummm, Dad, I think you need to see this.”

“Did the bungee come loose?”

“Nope, but this did.”

She was holding the entire boot tread in her hand.  It had come completely separated from the boot and we are miles from the starting point, and not quite halfway to the summit.  We spring into action, searching for every kind of solution we can in our bags.  Now it had been a while since we did serious hiking and we packed pretty well with one exception.  There was no tape.  Not even that white medical tape you typically find in first aid kits.  What we would have given for a roll of duct tape!

Luckily a friend of ours had given us a few paracord survival bracelets (small woven bracelets made from parachute cords), and the kids remembered to wear them.  We separated the cords and tied up the shoe.  The hike continued.  It wasn’t a perfect solution, but we had a mountain to climb.  Another 20 minutes went by.

“Ummm, Dad, it is happening again.”

Her second boot suffered a similar fate.  The tread had completely separated itself from the boot.  We stopped in a little clearing to eat lunch and assess our situation.  After additional attempts to tie the treads on, a few tears, lunch, and asking every passing hiker if they had any tape, it was clear that the summit was not a reality.

The hike down was not easy, and included continual evaluation and readjusting the cords and the addition of a few hair elastics.  Eventually some medical tape was provided by a sympathetic passerby.

Towards the end, one of the treads came completely off again.  Instead of stopping, or even missing a step, my daughter simply held it up high above her head and marched on.  Her strong defiant stand against the day’s difficulty was signaling that she was not giving up, and she was going to make it.  And she did.  We all did.

Later while in the car, we were discussing the high points of the hike, and what each of us remembered.  Besides another round of jokes about the “dam footbridge” by our youngest, we talked about working together to solve the boot issue, and what we liked best about the day and what we were thankful for.

“Remember when my boots fell apart, I was kinda scared, but we worked it out and made it back safe.  Now it is pretty funny.”

We all laughed about the boots.  Once safely in the car the fears or even tears became a distant memory.  We never made it to the summit.  The adventure that we planned was not the adventure that we had.  But isn’t that the way life is sometimes?  The unexpected challenges or obstacles bring both hardship and excitement to our adventure. 

I Remember When…

Posted on by Carl Weber

The other day I spent about an hour in the pool with my youngest daughter.  After a dizzying session of whirlpool creation, we began talk.  We talked about the squirrel trap she created.  How those little guys stole all of the almonds she scattered across the driveway, but none of the blueberries were harmed.

At some point I thought of about how amazing it was to be having this conversation with this little person.  My thoughts drifted to all of the memories of her growing up and I started to share some of that with her in the way that my wife and I sometimes share with each other.  We call it “I remember when…”

I remember when you were born.

I remember when you used to be afraid of the deeper pool.

I remember when I first saw you climb our tree like a monkey.

Then it dawned on me to alter it a little and begin to ask questions instead.

Do you remember when…

Do you remember when you were born?  No, but I remember the pictures.  Did I really have all that dark hair?  Yes.

Do you remember when we collected rocks at the beach?  Yes.  But mostly, I liked throwing them in the water.

The questions helped, and eventually she didn’t need prompting and it began to flow.

I remember when I was little and played with a pink basket in your room.

I remember when I first went to school.

I remember when my older sisters came home from college and I cried, because I missed them.

Today, what do you remember?  Take a few moments and reflect and share a few with us, or someone close to you.  Try this out with people you know and ask them what they remember.