Tag: Change the World

What is in it for you?

Posted on by Carl Weber

We all need to earn a living right? There is work to be done and bills to be paid. Unless you are the heir to some fortune; we get up each day and head to work.

But money is not always the primary motivator.

A sense of accomplishment, making a difference, helping others, learning a new task, leading a project, or creative expression tend to be higher on the list for many people.

While coaching someone recently, they paused and asked a direct question.

“What is in it for you?”

Their question made me think about my own motivation and why I do what I do.  I thought about my sentence, or the guiding articulated reason behind a lot of my actions. It helped me develop a reply.

“Helping talented people find the right position that fits who they are.”

But their question was more profound than they perhaps imagined. It remained with me long after our time together. The question spurred others.

Why do we blog?

Why do we consult?

Why do we coach others?

Why do we create?

Sure sometimes it is to make a living, but not all of our hard work generates income. Except for a few rare cases, blogging doesn’t create cash-flow. Not all consulting is on the clock and billable. Not all coaching arrangements come with an invoice. Creativity is not always for the pursuit of an immediate reward.

If you are interested, Dan Pink does a great job of explaining some insight into what motivates us in his book Drive, and below is a 10 minute video summary of the book.

As you contemplate “What is in it for you?” Understanding your motivations and even your sentence may be a good place to start.

Let Me See Your Calendar

Posted on by Carl Weber

Often we wrestle with getting certain projects or activities completed. There are times I wonder if procrastination should be elevated to some sort of art form. The level of creativity that abounds when avoiding certain tasks is nothing short of a masterpiece.

If procrastination was art, I would be Picasso.

This procrastination can permeate through simple tasks and projects, down into our roles both personally and professionally. What starts off as a delay in painting a room or cleaning up your desk, can become putting off coaching employees or participating with your family. One day you wake up to a mountain of unfinished projects, ideas, or roles.

I was listening to a speaker give a talk on what it takes to be a good leader, and one of the keys was following through on certain tasks. When coaching others, this speaker often listens to leaders talk about the things they would like to do, and then says a simple phrase.

“Let me see your calendar.”

The speaker then challenges the leader to show them in their calendar the time the have scheduled to work on that project, and where the deadline appears. Reluctantly, the leaders typically respond that those ideas or projects are not in the calendar. The desire was present, but not the mechanism to create the action needed to complete or make progress on these tasks.

Instead of shaming the person being coached, the speaker then simply works to find dates and times in their calendar and holds them accountable for completion.

I am trying the same approach with myself and others. While coaching a few individuals recently, I realized how much we all need this encouragement and accountability. A few days ago during a coaching session, I realized that there was a project that I had put off for about 12 months. The project itself would take about 1 hour, but there was some sort of procrastination mountain standing in my way.

This morning I spoke that simple phrase, “Let me see your calendar.”

There was space, and the project was scheduled and completed. One simple phrase and the project came off the stalled idea mountain and is now a reality. Imagine the results if we use this simple phrase with ourselves and others.

Try it out, it may just Change the World.

Participants and Observers

Posted on by Carl Weber

The other day we took our oldest daughter to an event. It was the kind of crowded event where people travel for miles to attend with lots of traffic and long lines. We witnessed large groups of people who either dressed up or dressed alike as they walked past us. It was a pretty amazing experience to watch people want to be part of something big.

During the actual event, it became clear that there are two types of people:

Participants, and Observers.

Participants leap with both feet into the experience. Observers watch from the sideline.

Participants take risks. Observers are reserved.

Participants don’t seem to care what others think. Observers are self-conscious.

Participants dress up in goofy costumes. Observers wear their normal clothes.

Participants believe. Observers are skeptics.

My daughter and all of the other Participants seemed to be living life in that moment and letting themselves become lost in the experience as the cares of the world melted away. The Observers seemed resigned to watch, unable to detach from everyday life and its many stresses and problems. Slowly, the Participants encouraged the Observers to join them and be part of the event. As the night wore on, most of us were Participants, even just for a moment.

How often do we find ourselves as Observers when we really want to be Participants? 

Does fear, skepticism, or what others may think, keep us in our seats?

To the Participants: Thank you for jumping in and showing us the way.

To the Observers: You can play too, and it will be worth it.

私に好意的に見てください (Please look favorably on me)

Posted on by Carl Weber

At breakfast the other day, a close friend mentioned that a Japanese exchange student would be staying with them soon. In order to prepare for the visit, they were brushing up on their Japanese to welcome the student.

At first I thought “who brushes up on their Japanese?” but I pushed that reaction down to listen to the phrases.

The phrases began with “nice to meet you” and “I am (insert your name)” pretty standard interaction when meeting with new people.

It was the third phrase that caught my attention.

“It is a pleasure to meet you” or more literally “please look favorably on me”.

I was struck by the importance of this request: please look favorably on me. It is a simple request. Essentially be nice to me and treat me well, but for me it went a little deeper.

Please look favorably on me includes not reading into my actions and assuming negative motives. Please look favorably on me encourages others to look towards the positive and not simply pointing out my flaws or shortcomings. Please look favorably on me asks for the benefit of the doubt and a level of grace for who I am and what I do.

How many times do we connect with others for the first time, or for the hundredth time that this simple reminder would provide some helpful ground-rules for the interaction.

There are a lot of people who I have to interact with over the next few days that provides numerous opportunities to try this out.

What simple phrase would help you? How can you provide a simple request to assist you in your relationships? What are the few words that could reset the dynamics in your workplace or family?

Having the courage to utter the phrase may be hard, but the reward may be worth the risk of being vulnerable.

I will let you know how it goes…but first, please look favorably on me.

I still have work to do…

Posted on by Carl Weber

About a month ago, I attended training on a new tool to help match individuals to a job, or to help coach them on a deeper level. This new tool can identify someone’s capacity in various attributes, and how they view the world, understand systems and people. The tool doesn’t stop at the outside world.

This new approach also takes a peek at how you are doing on the inside. Do you understand and balance your various roles, do you see your future as bright or muddled, and are you moving forward or just hanging on.

During the training, the instructor eventually passed out our results throughout the room. My little table of four slowly received the results and each person began flipping through the pages to gain some insight. Somewhat guarded, we all peered at the pages occasionally glancing at the others at the table. Eventually we shared the results.

Despite the individual variation, there was one theme. Each person at the table had a good handle on other people and how to help them (most were consultants or HR professionals), but all of us could use a little work on ourselves. I couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy and my Narrator seemed to try to tell me that unless I get my own act together, I shouldn’t be telling others how to improve.

In the far left corner of the room, there was another consultant. This consultant has been working with individuals and companies for almost 43 years. When speaking or providing insight during the session the room hushed as if everyone in the room wanted to let the words and insight of this wise sage penetrate our minds. It was amazing and intimidating at the same time.

This consultant called me yesterday. Mostly because of my half-joking statement at the end of class when each of us was asked to say what we learned the most during the training.

“I learned that I need to be coached by you” I said speaking directly to that consultant.

It got a laugh, but imagine my surprise during our call. When we were discussing some of the potential areas I may need to develop and work on, I heard the following.

“You know Carl, when I read my own results and report, I realize that I still have work to do.”

It was reassuring that someone who has worked with others almost as long as I have been alive still has work to do and their development journey is far from over.

This conversation reminded me that there are two paths.

One path makes a bold statement.

“I have it all figured out and I will tell you how to make your life, career, job, and world better.”

The second path echoes the simpler statement I heard while on the phone.

“We are on this collective journey together. We still have work to do and if some of the insights we learn help us…great. Let’s see where this takes us.”

I still have work to do, and I look forward to this journey together.

Which Race Are You Running?

Posted on by Carl Weber

Yesterday I got to cross off a goal from my list. I ran a 5K.  Sure, running a 5K is a perfectly good goal. Running a 5K has been on my yearly goal list for a few years and I have been able to cross it off each year. This year the goal was different. Simply running a 5K was not the goal yesterday. The actual goal was to run a 5K together with my daughter.

ShoesRunning with my daughter was the goal. We got new shoes (note the distinct advantage I have simply from shoe size) signed us both up a few months ago, and a small competition began. Every few weeks a photo would appear on my phone. The photo was of the treadmill time of her latest run. In addition to these photos, periodic smack-talk began to appear alongside.

Once I get new shoes maybe I’ll smoke you in a race 😉

Perhaps as a way to defend myself, photos of my treadmill times were exchanged (especially when my times were faster), along with various replies, especially when she was getting nervous.

I’m kind of nervous!! I hope I’m not too far after you 😁

Luckily you will have your dad at your side encouraging you

And I hope to have my dad behind me cheering me on

This would cause more photos, and faster times, and more replies. This banter and friendly competition helped both of us stay on track and keep running so we would be ready for race day. But when race day arrived, something happened.

A few people who I know were also racing that day. I tend to be competitive by nature and I have been running at my fastest pace in years. I felt a different goal rise up inside me. This was my chance. A chance to finally demonstrate that I was faster than these other runners and have a “win” and obliterate my last year’s time. My daughter must have sensed something because she casually mentioned that it would be okay if I ran ahead, despite our earlier goal of running together.

I had a choice to make. And isn’t this a choice we all face at some point? We work together with other people. The original idea is a team achievement, then an individual opportunity comes our way. What we decide in that moment is important. Do we honor our original commitment? Do we give into ourselves and break away from the pack in order to “win”? I had to ask myself:

Which race are you running?

My choice appears below. (I am wearing the red hat, she is in the bright yellow shirt.)

As for beating those other people, there is plenty of time and plenty of races ahead of us. (And they should know that I am coming after them in the next race.) For now, I am happy with my choice. A message on my phone as she was driving back to school confirmed that it was the best choice.

But you’re a great dad and ran with me so basically you won the whole race

Today, make sure you are running the right race…It may just change the world.