Helping individuals, businesses, and organization leaders through coaching, hiring assistance, behavioral assessments, problem solving, training, and facilitation
A simple goal.
Make Something.
An idea, a concept, business, service, book, blog, website, or product.
A simple criteria.
Scary Cool.
Scary – A push beyond easy. This Something may require movement through fear, doubt, and insecurity to excitement and exhilaration.
Cool – Something beyond the ordinary that is exciting and worth buying, investing in, partnering with, telling others about, or purchasing.
Go. Create. Start.
Make Something Scary Cool.
We are all waiting.
While cleaning out some old piles of paperwork, one sheet of paper caught my eye. A printed copy of an email from 18 years ago.
Words of advice from my first boss and mentor on the eve of taking a new job. The first real job after college.
The advice resonated today just as much as it did those many years ago.
Thank you Michael for the words, advice, and guidance. These words helped me in the first job, and should help us all as the new year begins.
We all have a story.
There are events that shaped us, helped us, or hurt us.
These events shaped our story.
We tend to tell others this story, intentionally or not.
But time and new events also create a story.
Maybe we are stuck in an old story.
And the old story likes being told.
The old story wants top billing, even if that show hasn’t played in years.
“I don’t have close friends who connect with me.”
While out with a group of friends who are trying to connect.
“I was never good in school.”
While getting your Masters’ Degree with honors.
“I will never be able to do the more challenging work.”
While being asked to be part of projects and initiatives.
As this New Year begins, maybe we need a new story.
But in order for this new story to be told, we need to let go of the old story.
The new story is waiting to be told.
A new story that reflects where we are heading.
A new story that doesn’t miss what is happening right now.
Ironically I got to speak to a group on emotional intelligence a week before the holidays. We joked about how the class was a perfect place to learn and practice before we interacted with our families and friends at various celebrations.
Stress can run high during this season, and sometimes we need Perspective.
I found that Perspective in a post called The Tail End on one of my new favorite sites WaitButWhy.com that demonstrates visually a life time of events. Super Bowls left to watch, dumplings left to eat, visits to Fenway Park remaining…
What brought the most perspective was the remaining time the author projects he has remaining with his parents (5% remaining) and his siblings (15% remaining).
Perspective is when you suddenly realize that there may only be 15 or 20 more holidays together if you are lucky.
Perspective is when you remember that there are no more holidays with others.
Perspective is when you just want a little more time.
I did my own calculations with some people close to me and I realized that between holidays, and birthdays, and the 3 to 4 other times we hang out per year, I may only have 60 more times to connect with them.
That is it, 60 more days.
When someone is diagnosed with something critical, we tend to rally, connect, and spend more time in those remaining days. The small things fade away, as we try to savor those last moments that remain.
Ordinary time has a funny way of pretending to be in unlimited supply.
Perspective reminds us to not be fooled by time’s pretending.
They needed some coaching, so you helped encourage and develop.
You needed to run your first 5K, so they helped you train.
They needed to lose weight, so you helped with healthy options, accountability, and support.
You needed assistance with strategy, so they helped provide perspective, options, and focus.
They needed to find a better career, relationship, or life-goal, so you provided some guidance.
You were a little scattered and out there, so they helped organize and ground you.
They were a little structured and serious, so you helped them be messy and fun.
These relationships start in interesting ways.
One of you needs something, and the other is there to help.
At first the roles were clear.
One of you is the expert, coach, parent, mentor, counselor, or consultant. The other one needs what you have.
One of you is giving, the other is receiving.
Typically this approach only works for the short-term. Once the need is met, you disengage and move on.
But sometimes, these relationship continue.
These relationships begin to change.
You are Becoming Equals.
What was once mentoring becomes mutual assistance or expertise.
What was once consulting becomes sharing ideas together.
What was once coaching becomes both playing at the same level.
What was once parenting becomes more like a friendship.
Becoming Equals doesn’t happen overnight.
Becoming Equals requires both of you to shift.
Becoming Equals allows both of you to shine.
One day you notice the person who use to run a few steps behind you is now at your side, and even ahead of you.
One day you are both leading.
One day you are both moving forward.
There is a time and place for the first roles.
But there is something more.
Something better.
Becoming Equals may be what makes relationships really great.
Becoming Equals may be what makes relationships last.
They are in every organization. They look at your process, workflow, or procedures and wonder why you are doing things that way.
They scan the world and see what you cannot see: wasted time, wasted effort, wasted energy.
They may be perceived as complaining, but they are not. They are trying to maximize the return for their own time and others.
They are the ones close enough to the action, the actual work, to understand where it can improve.
You may feel threatened, especially if you created the original way or process.
You may not be doing the work anymore, and are not close enough to find better ways.
You may need to listen, and let them help you.
I have my own personal Efficiency Expert.
She is the youngest of four.
Sometimes I misinterpret her motives as complaining or procrastination, but she doesn’t want to waste time or energy.
She finds better ways of doing routine tasks.
She challenges the old way, my way, and many times finds a better way.
“You need to unload the dishwasher.”
“Ok, but this takes so much time.”
“Unload the dishwasher.”
“Ok, but this takes so much time…and I have an idea for next time. Why don’t we all put the silverware together in the same little bin instead of just dumping it in all mixed up.”
“Why would we want to do that?”
“Because just putting it in randomly seems like no big deal until you have to unload and put the silverware away. If we all spent a little more time loading the dishwasher, unloading becomes so much easier and faster. The silverware is already pre-sorted and you just have to pick it up and put it away.”
“You are amazing!”
“I know.”
The Efficiency Expert is in your home, office, or workplace. They can help you and the whole organization when you learn to listen.
Carl Weber Consulting 