Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

Making Soap: A Lesson in Being a Serial Entrepreneur

Posted on by Carl Weber

Breakfast with a few close friends is always welcome on my calendar. During yet another snow storm, we made our way out to find a new place to eat. The one friend came from far away, the other from right down the road.

We talked. We connected. We laughed.

One friend is always traveling, and has great stories.

The other friend is a Serial Entrepreneur. They are always coming up with new ideas, new businesses, new ways to make something happen.

As we were eating our food, the Serial Entrepreneur gave us both small packages. Homemade soaps in nicely decorated packaging. Not only have they been experimenting with making soaps, they have already started selling them.

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While reading Seth Godin’s new book “What to do when it’s your turn (and it’s always your  turn)” I was reminded of this other friend.

They are always taking an idea and running with it.

They try, fail, try again, succeed, think of something else, and keep moving.

Did they wait for someone to tell them it was their turn? No, they just keep doing.

Do they have all the answers? No.

Do they have a complete plan with all the details before the move? No again.

Do they take risks? You betcha.

Did they wait for everything to be perfect before they shipped? Nope.

Do they do more in a few years than most of us will do in our lives? Yes.

After breakfast I thanked this friend for the lesson: Keep Trying New Things, Take the Risk, and Ship.

I wonder what their [your] next idea will be?

No Bad Runs

Posted on by Carl Weber

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Running can be hard.

Some runs feel amazing.

Everything clicks, your body responds, and you just go.

Other runs don’t feel so great.

Your legs feel like cement, that weird [knee, foot, ankle, back, thigh, or toe] pain is back, and you struggle.

Sometimes you feel young beyond your years.

Other times you wonder if you are getting too old to run.

Sometimes you get a personal best.

Other times you are afraid to look at the time.

We can be tempted to label these “other” runs.

“Today was a bad run.”

“I can’t believe what a bad run I had today.”

“I have had a bad run three times this week.”

Who said every run would be easy?

Who said we wouldn’t struggle, doubt, or wrestle?

Each run means that you actually went out and ran.

Each run is another run under your belt.

Each run becomes part of your history, your experience, your life.

Each run doesn’t limit the next one.

Some runs feel amazing.

Other runs don’t feel so great.

There are no bad runs.

 

Savoring the Quirks

Posted on by Carl Weber

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Everyone has quirks.

Some quirks are endearing.

Some quirks are irritating.

Why don’t they replace that roll?

Why do they wait until the recycling is overflowing?

Why do they always bring up that thing when you visit?

Why do they [insert our issue, pet peeve, history, expectation, or offense] here?

Recently we have experienced some loss.

Recently those around us have experienced some loss.

Recently we got news that more loss is coming.

Loss causes a shift in perspective.

What was once irritation now causes comfort.

An empty roll means they are still here. Maybe just a few moments ago.

Messy toys on a table, way too many wet shoes piled in a heap by the back door, fingernail polish on the coffee table, the piercing pain when you step on a LEGO, the fuel gauge left on empty, piles of unopened mail, the strange pile of receipts by the phone, clutter on the stairs, jackets on the backs of chairs, modeling clay in the carpet, gum in the driveway, mystery stains on the kitchen floor, the overflowing hamper, the heap of clothes by the shower, whatever gets stuck in the drain, loud voices downstairs in the morning, slurping noises while drinking, loud crunchy chewing, and the list goes on, and on, and on.

Today you have all these things. Someday they will cease.

Instead of irritation. Choose savoring the quirks.

Maybe these quirks can be reminders of what you have.

 

Playing with the Bumpers Up

Posted on by Carl Weber

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Bumpers.

You have seen them. Bumpers stop bowling balls from taking a trip down the gutter.

Pins are knocked down. Scores are recorded.

But those scores are inflated, not entirely real.

I have noticed something similar in business, specifically in the hiring process.

The position is vacant. The field of candidates is narrowed. You want to fill this position.

The questions get harder. You dig a little deeper. You want the right person: the right fit.

Suddenly, the bumpers appear.

“I think the candidates will struggle with that question, what if we soften it, or explain it a little more?”

“Why don’t we go easy on them, help them relax, that way they will be successful?”

Maybe it is the thought of having to start over, re-advertise, and try again. Maybe you have to admit to your boss, or their bosses that it didn’t work out. Maybe an unsuccessful process will reflect poorly on you.

The pressure to fill the position becomes stronger than filling it well.

The real problem with bumpers is they mask the downside risk. Bowling with bumpers is all upside. You knock down pins. You are invincible. Your scores are amazing!

Bumpers are okay if you are new and need some practice. But when the real game, the hiring process is being played, you need play with both upside and downside risk.

Once the process is over, the bumpers come down anyway. They will be in your organization and will bring both the upside and the downside.

The next time you are hiring or interviewing, look around to see if you are playing with the bumpers up.

 

 

Homework, Frustration, and Emotional Intelligence

Posted on by Carl Weber

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While having lunch the other day with a friend, the conversation moved from simply catching up on the details of our lives to deeper places. We started to talk about emotional intelligence and the role it plays in our success.

To provide an example, I shared a story.

A few years ago, while trying to help one of our daughters with her homework, I got upset. The helping, the explanations, and the examples were not gaining traction. In fact, it seemed to make things worse. My emotional glass got cloudy.

I have already admitted to having Emotional Rickets when it comes to emotional intelligence. Of the five hierarchical steps by Daniel Goleman, the first two always help me unpack issues that I may be having.

Step 1, Self-Awareness

Step 2, Self-Regulation

If I am having a problem with Self-Regulation (getting upset), I go back down a Step to Self Awareness and try to figure out what is happening.

What is the negative emotional trigger? What else may be going on inside?

“Why is helping with her homework causing you to get upset?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I want her to succeed.”

“Ok, that is one possibility, but helping her succeed shouldn’t cause you to be angry. What else is happening, what are you afraid of?”

“I am afraid that she won’t do well, that she won’t get into college, that this time was somehow wasted.”

“Keep going.”

“I am afraid that this means that I have not helped or prepared her enough. That her failing is a reflection of me. That I am not a good Dad.”

There it was: the real issue. Fear of failing as a Dad.

I was trying to Self-Regulate an emotional state around homework that was really about something else. By going back a step, by finding greater Self-Awareness, the Self-Regulation becomes easier.

It was never about the homework. In fact, the inability to Self-Regulate was actually contributing to that fear becoming a reality.

Thankfully, she still lets me help with homework. (After some serious apologizing and a few tears.) Those feelings or fears still exist, but the ability to regulate the emotions in the moment have become much easier.

The next time you find yourself getting upset about homework or having trouble with Self-Regulation when [insert your specific story here] try this simple process.

Take a step back, ask yourself the hard questions.

What is really happening? What are you afraid of?

Why Customer Service Training?

Posted on by Carl Weber

Customer service training can be an interesting adventure. Some people are excited. Other people are bored, or have a negative reaction. Some of the reactions depend on how the training was announced or conveyed.

My favorite reactions came after the training was announced via email.

Mandatory Customer Service Training: No Excuses 

Below is a clip of some recent reactions.

What would the reactions be in your organization? Have you created a culture of customer service or do you train as punishment when things are not going well?

Why Customer Service Training?

Because just like any other skill, you need practice to improve.