Tag: accountability

We Just Need a Strong Leader

Posted on by Carl Weber

Working with teams is great.  But, I have noticed a pattern.  When there is difficulty, conflict or lack of communication an interesting pattern emerges during the various sessions.  What I hear during these sessions is consistent.

Sometimes these statements are a muttering in the back of the room, other times they are directly proclaimed for the group.

“We just need a strong leader.”

“If the [insert bosses title here] did more of [whatever topic we are discussing] we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

My personal favorite – “This is all well and good, but when will our leader apply some of these principles?”

In most cases I am there because the leader has identified the issue and wants to inspire collective solutions and buy in from the group.  Admittedly these leaders have not always lead deliberately, but the demands of their time and energy has increased, and they assumed that these teams would self-manage or self-lead through the routine of the day.

Then something interesting occurs.  The leader begins to lead, and in a strong and deliberate way.  The leader provides clear direction, communicates a larger vision, and begins to hold everyone accountable for results.  This newfound accountability eventually finds its way to those vocal critical few.  According to their earlier statements, what follows would logically be a happy embrace of this new leadership model.  Tragically, it doesn’t.

“Who does [insert leader’s name here] think they are messing with the way we have done things?”

“Can you believe that they want us to report on our activities, why don’t they just leave us alone like before?”

“Why do they keep making us go to meetings?  Why are they in our space so often?  Why are they asking so many questions?”

As the leader becomes stronger and tackles the various issues they find that the people who so clearly demanded strong leadership, are the ones who fight the hardest against it when it arrives.  Often, those vocal few are no longer there in a few years because when they said “We Just Need a Strong Leader” what they really meant was “I need someone to complain about to deflect attention from my own lack of personal leadership.”

Maybe that vocal person was right.  The organization did need stronger leadership, but you should be careful what you wish for…you just might get it.

Theory, Paper and Real Life

Posted on by Carl Weber

Sadly, a lot of times I am better in theory or on paper than I am in real life.  I have certain beliefs about the way the world or people should be, how they can better connect with and work with each other and I think, write and even periodically teach these concepts. Applying these concepts to my own life has proven to be a challenge.  I will give you a few examples.

Preparing to teach on emotional intelligence and becoming stressed about it and losing my cool with the kids about their homework.

Writing a blog about communicating while getting into an argument with those around me.

Teaching on coaching in the workplace while canceling my coaching session with one of my employees.

My ability to offer great advice to others while failing to take that exact same advice for my own present situation is remarkable (unfortunately).

I heard a very important idea from Jack Enter, a speaker and author.  During a session on failing as a leader, he warned us that believing in something and putting it into practice are two separate things.  He warns us to be careful about being satisfied with our beliefs while never executing on the actions necessary to do the steps needed to be the people and leaders we need to be.

Our (or at least my) ability to allow this disconnect between theory, who we are on paper, and real life is amazing.  The ability to have two seemingly contrary positions without noticing it has become more apparent to me, especially when I fail.

Jack recommends disciplining ourselves to implement these concepts, while being accountable to others so we actually do these things.  How to you make sure your theories or who you are on paper makes it into your real life?

For me, the morning phone call helps because it provides a space to be honest about where I didn’t measure up, and be accountable to others to make changes that bring my life more in line with these theories I believe.

Bringing the Cup Home

Posted on by Carl Weber

Typically, “bringing the cup home” is a good thing.  Unfortunately, not all awards are for positive achievement.

There are a few friends that I talk to regularly, usually while driving to work in the morning.  These morning calls have become a way to connect with each other, but they serve another purpose: determining who brought the cup home that week.

This is no ordinary cup.  This cup signifies personal failure either with our wives, our kids, or at work.  I won’t tell you what we actual call this cup, but think of a good term for when someone is not at their best or kind of a jerk and you will be on the right track.

Our conversations can be pretty funny.

“So, get this.  I came home from work and within 2 minutes yelled at the kids.”

“During an argument I said she was a lot like her mother.”

“While in a meeting today, I came across like a total jerk when I tried to convey my position.  It was definitely a CLM (career limiting move).”

Why do we do this?  It is not that we are proud of these failures.  As I said, no one wants this cup at their house.  The reason we talk about these shortcomings is to get them out into the open, discover the cause, and try to grow and develop past these issues.  The ability to be transparent about who you really are is a great first step.  Speaking out these failures provides a level of accountability that helps us remember to think before we speak, to be more patient, and not excuse away our behaviors.

How often do you bring the cup home?  Where do you fail?  Do you have someone or a few someones to talk through these issues?  If not, perhaps today is a good place to start.  These conversations certainly helped us grow, and created the kind of friendships that run deep.  We all need the kind of friends who are not afraid to speak the truth when we bring the cup home.

By the way, we are looking for suggestions or ideas to build an actual cup that could be passed from house to house.  But it should be hideous enough that no one would actually want it in their home.