Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

Three Things I Learned from My Mom

Posted on by Carl Weber

While reflecting the other day, I wondered where we pick up things in life that help shape us as people.  We all experience different events, and those events, interactions, and examples (good or bad) shape the very nature of who we become.  Some of who we are is the product of who our parents were and we take some of it from them, reject some, but it shapes us nonetheless.

There were things I learned from my Mom.  You see, she was a single mom raising three boys.  She worked primarily as a waitress her entire life.  The hours allowed her to be there in the morning, and when we got home from school, but the work was hard.  Three major lesson come to mind that were passed from her to us.  Intentionally or not, those lessons were pretty clear.

Be Tough.  Work Hard.  Celebrate Events.

Be Tough.  This may have been less intentional, but more a product of circumstance. Money was tight, our roof leaked (a lot), and there were times when chopping wood was the deciding factor between being warm or cold.  I am sure there were days when she wondered if she could make it another day, but she kept pushing forward.  She demonstrated that even when life is hard (which it totally is at times), you need to be tough in order to survive.

Work Hard.  Long hours and weekends on her feet “slinging hash” as she liked to call it, was what she did.  It is not glamorous work, but it paid the bills (most of the time).  Weeks, months, and years passed and you could tell that the work took its toll.  Sore feet, sore shoulders, and shoes that looked like they had seen a war.  I recently remembered sitting down as a kid and helping her dab on that white shoe polish that would make those shoes look like new again.

Celebrate Events.  Whether it was a birthday, a holiday, or some life event, we celebrated.  When I look at old photos, I can see the amazing cakes she decorated, the cookouts we had, the birthday parties with all of our friends.  Despite the lack of funds, we had fun.  When report cards came, if you did well, you got a “skip day” that meant a whole day with Mom doing something fun.

These lessons helped shape who I am today.  I have had to be tough to ensure hardship. Working hard helped me in life, in college (I was the first in many generations to attend), and in my career.  Most of all, I love to celebrate events.  Birthdays, anniversaries, or life events are savored like fine wine.

The other major lesson that is buried deep is an appreciation for what I have.  And it sometimes hits me in weird ways.  A roof that doesn’t leak.  Heat when you turn up the thermostat.  The ability to fill the gas tank in the car without having to dive into my change stash.  All of these things we may take for granted, but it is nice to remember and be content.

By the way, I don’t think she reads this blog and she would be embarrassed to be the subject matter.  But just in case she reads this someday…

Thanks for the lessons, Mom.

Reflections on the Challenge

Posted on by Carl Weber

Where did January go?  If nothing else, the collective challenge helped the weeks go by.  It was strange this morning to wake up and have the freedom to check the news online, but I refrained.

The News.  What is happening in the world?  I don’t know, but I do know what is happening in my world.  I feel a little more connected to people around me, especially my wife and kids.  I feel less negative about the world, the people in it, and the state of the economy (I had to buy a new washing machine so I am totally doing my part).  We actually had our neighbors over for dinner this month (it took 3.5 years to make it happen) but we did it.  I read a few more books this month.

Being Generous.  For the past month I have been trying to find ways to do this one. There were a few opportunities but I hesitated and the moment passed.  I tried to be more generous to those around me this month but that doesn’t count for the challenge so I had to create a plan.  I did.  Tomorrow is the day, and I am going to try it out.  Wish me luck. (Yes, I will be two days late, but it still counts right?)

Dreaming Big.  As for the dreaming big part, I went out on a limb this month.  There is this national conference I attend each year with some colleagues, and in January they sent out an email asking for speakers and ideas for the conference.  A big dream of mine has been to be a speaker at this conference and I took the leap and submitted my idea and topic.

Putting the idea out there was pretty scary but the response has been great.  My colleagues and others voted, made some great comments on my idea.  Time will tell if it becomes a reality at this year’s conference, but the process and taking the risk was helpful.

Hmmm.  I wonder what February will bring?

Maybe Your Boss Is Right?

Posted on by Carl Weber

Okay, okay, bear with me on this one.  I was listening to a friend talk about not railing against your boss, your employer, your job or your organization.  The message really resonated with me and I realized how often we hear this in everyday conversations. Are there bad bosses?  Yes, they made a movie about that.  Are there bad jobs?  Again, yes.  Is the boss always wrong?  Maybe not.

The benefit of working with so many individuals across various workplaces is themes begin to appear.  This theme or sentiment seems pretty ingrained with a lot of us.  A while ago while working with a leader, they described that the real conflict was with their boss. The lack of trust, and second guessing that their boss did made the situation impossible for this leader to function.

The more we talked, the more I asked questions about what was actually happening in this leader’s workplace.  Towards the end of our time together I had one final question.

“Now that we talked about what is really happening in your operation, was your boss right or wrong?” I asked.

There was a long pause.

And another.

“Right, [expletive], it.”

The revelation was clear.  The boss was trying their best to coach this leader about an identified problem in their operation.  The boss was right.  The leader could not see the problem, but focused on the issue with the boss instead.  The whole time this leader was fighting against the boss, valuable time had been lost and the situation was getting worse.

My friend’s message and this meeting made me think about my own life.  How often do I take something personally or let my ego get in the way of becoming a better leader, manager, husband, father or employee?

I am taking my friend’s advice to identify these situations and try to be a little more humble.  Whenever I find myself disagreeing or saying that someone is “wrong” I take a step back.  Maybe the boss (or whoever is trying to tell me something) is right.

Marketing, Product Placement, and Us

Posted on by Carl Weber

As part of this collective challenge I have been avoiding the news.  At the same time, I began a new marketing class online.  The class is helping us understand how companies market to existing or potential customers.  This has created a renewed awareness of the existence of the marketing, advertisements, and product placement all around us.

Not that I didn’t see these attempts in the past, but with the more limited self-imposed access to normal media outlets, my senses seemed to notice the attempts more and more.

With the onset of the DVR, I typically fast forward through most commercials, and seldom watch live TV, but while on the treadmill (no DVR down there) I do see ads, but not as often as I should.  This is what I noticed yesterday.  Apparently I should be alarmed that I am being held hostage from my cable company, should switch my car insurance – but not to “one of those cut-rate” companies, need to eat lots and lots of fast food with more chili on it, and pepper has antioxidants.

By the way, I am not opposed to ads.  I watch the Superbowl ads, and I always enjoy a good funny ad.  Just last night we were sitting around talking about the VW ad with the barking dogs singing Star Wars (at first I thought I had dreamed it which made for a pretty funny conversation last night, but yes it is real) that is a preview for their next Superbowl ad.  Does this make me want to buy a VW, no but the dogs are great.

Companies must be on to me, and the rest of us.  They know we don’t buy news papers, get most of our news online (except for this month), throw away junk mail, but still purchase things.  Product placement appears to be the next way to get our attention.  Back to VW, I was watching a show the other night, and the entire episode was essentially a VW commercial veiled in a sitcom…sneaky.  My family is beginning to notice the product placement as well.

“A DSW shoe box, right there on the shelf!”

“Look at all the Macs, everyone uses them in this show.”

“That looks like an iPhone, but they blurred it out.”

Companies are trying to be creative in their way to find us, but I am curious, do these ads or attempts change your buying habits?  How do they find you?  Why do you buy the things you do?  (Feel free to respond, I am curious about how ads or product placement work with real people…with you.)

Keep up the challenge, we only have eight more days!  If you haven’t participated in the poll yet, please do, the feedback I get from each of you is great.

P.S. Sometimes pesky ads appear at the bottom of this blog, and I will fix that soon, I need to upgrade it and will do that shortly.

Collective Challenge Day 17 (the check in)

Posted on by Carl Weber

Day 17.  We are past the half way mark in our Collective Challenge.  I took a few days off for two reasons.

1.  Since we are refraining from the news in the hopes to break off some of the negativity of the news cycle and quiet things down a little, I didn’t want to become just another source of noise for all of you.

2.  I started my first fully online class last week and a big part of the class is online postings, and that consumed a lot of my time.

During one of the online conversations (the folks in class are all over the country, from Vermont to California) I shared that a group of us were collectively trying to avoid the news.  They found it interesting and wondered how it impacted me.

So far, despite my initial discomfort with changing my routine each morning, it has been a great experience.  I feel less negative about things: life, the state of the world, my own community.

How is the challenge for you?  I wanted to hear from you to see if this little experiment is working.  Keep it up, just a few weeks left.  You can do it, you are going to make it.

P.S. Yes I still watch football, just not the news about it before or afterwards.

Collective Challenge Day 9 (a new week, a new opportunity)

Posted on by Carl Weber

For those of you keeping track there was no post for Day 8.  I took the day off to rest because I was tired.  I hope each of you took the day off, rested, and are ready for the upcoming week.  Taking a day off, a day to yourself is important.  This rest is not only important during this collective challenge, but important in our lives to maintain ongoing balance between our work and our life.

Recently at work, a few people from another department were heading to lunch together and saw me in the parking lot.  They shouted out to me.

“What is the deal with that SKOOK sticker on your back window?  We noticed some members of your team have it too.”

“It is a long story, come and find me later.”

They found me later that day.

It all started a few years ago.  My team and I spend a lot of time in the car driving all around New Hampshire.  Just north of Franconia Notch there is a road sign.  It reads: Skookumchuck Brook.  To give you some perspective it is just under 100 miles from my house.

Over the years it became a ritual when you passed that sign to stop, snap a photo, send a message, or call the team and yell “SKOOK!”  SKOOK was our way of saying, “hey, I am 100 miles from home, but working hard, finding opportunities, and most likely putting in extra hours to make this happen.”

Everyone who received the message would chime in with encouragement and sometimes a little taunting, and it became a little club, or almost a subculture.  We would notice the times of these messages: 6:00 AM meant someone was on the road around 4:00 AM, 6:00 PM meant that someone still had a few hours until they were home again.

Striving to be a SKOOK on the team meant you thought about each day, how to make a difference, and how to maximize the opportunities right in front of you.  Being a SKOOK required a little more effort, a little more dedication, but the reward of knowing that each of us was giving their all to a cause larger than ourselves made it worth it.

After about a few years of this, I was searching the web and found a website that sells SKOOK stickers.  Apparently Schuylkill County, Pennsylvania (the Coal Region) has a nickname: SKOOK.  And they sell merchandise!  And from that moment forward we have stickers on our cars.

There is another week before us.  We have a choice.  We can let the time pass by like any ordinary week, or we can try to be a SKOOK.  We can make the choice to see each day, each hour as an opportunity to make things happen.  An opportunity to make a difference.  Let’s get out there and earn our stickers!