Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

Are you always the Good Guy/Girl?

Posted on by Carl Weber

I was listening to a speaker the other day with some friends.  During one part of the speaker’s message a friend leaned over to me and said,

“The trouble is, we all think we are the good guys.”

The more I reflected on those words, the more profound they became.  Being “the good guy (or girl)” has a huge impact on our perspective, our narrative, and our story.  Over the next few weeks I listened to those around me with this new frame of reference.  What I heard confirmed this theory.

When my kids argued and sought fatherly judicial proceedings, each child described the wrongs committed.  Each child described a scenario where they were clearly the “good one” and the other sibling was “bad.”

I heard spouses, friends, and family members describe various issues.  Again and again the common theme was they were “good” and others were “bad.”  The story-tellers seemed completely unaware of how they were describing the other person.  Then, I listened to my own words.  If I was offended or had some problem, clearly I was the “good guy” only leaving one option for the other party.

Breaking away from this self-centered mindset is not easy.  Becoming aware and changing a pattern of behavior can be worlds apart.  For the next few weeks I am going to try by asking a simple question.

“What if I am not the good guy?”

Maybe something so simple will shake the foundation of our self-centeredness.

To my friend who leaned over and said that simple phrase: thanks for the game-changer.  It will certainly help us on the way to changing the (our) world.

A Few More Hours of Voting

Posted on by Carl Weber

We are in the home stretch.  The idea is to have a virtual book club where we read a book together over the next few months.  We have made a few book suggestions and your votes will determine which book we collectively read.  The poll will be open until midnight tonight.  If you haven’t voted, please do so.

The Virtual Book Club Poll

Posted on by Carl Weber

 

Voting begins today and will last a week, vote early, tell your friends!  This should be a fun experience.  I am looking forward to the results!

A Few Book Ideas

Posted on by Carl Weber

Here are a few suggestions of some potential books that come to mind.  These books have either been on my nightstand for a while and need a good reading, or have been recommended to me by others:

1.  The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin – http://www.happiness-project.com/, seems like an interesting concept and may be an interesting journey together.

2.  The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell – http://www.gladwell.com/, I have read Outliers, What the Dog Saw, and Blink and this in next on my list.  He is one of the greatest writers of our time, and tells amazing stories.

3.  The Brain and Emotional Intelligence: New Insights – Daniel Goleman http://danielgoleman.info/, or Magnificent Mind at Any Age – Dr. Daniel Amen.  Both are looking at how our minds work and the role of our emotional state and how we react to others.

4.  Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us – Seth Godin http://www.sethgodin.com/sg/ about leading small groups.

Those are my top picks, again I am open to  your suggestions.  In order for this to work, once we find a book, I think we need at least 10 people to commit to doing this together.  If you are in, let us know, if you want to wait until we pick a book, that is okay too.  But for you adventurous types, go ahead and jump in now!  Take the leap, it will be worth it.

Reading a Book Together?

Posted on by Carl Weber

As I sit here on my back porch finally writing again, I just wanted to thank all of you for hanging with me.  Lately writing has taken a back seat.  A few moments ago I transmitted my last assignment for the class I have been taking.  It took more time and effort (and writing) than I imagined.  The class got most of my thoughts in writing, and at the end there was nothing left to share.

There have been a few things rattling around in my head lately.  Some are ideas to write about, others are projects or just random thoughts.

I was talking with a friend the other day and they mentioned their book club.  Periodically some friends get together and discuss a book.  Given the business of life, work, schedules and everything else I just couldn’t see finding a day to get together.  Then I had a thought, what if we found a book to read together on the blog?  What if the only committment was to read a chapter a week, and write at least one post and comment on one other post?  Sounds easy enough right?

Here is my proposal.  Until Friday this week, I am open to suggestions for books that we could collectively read.  On Saturday, I will post a poll to vote on the most popular book, and we can start it the following week.  No pressure, you can participate or not, but in this world we do way too much alone, so why read alone?  One thing I learned from taking this online class is how much I benefited from the dialogue about the subjects, the lessons, and I looked forward to the insights of others.

The ball is in your collective courts.  This only works if we agree to try it together.  Let me know what you think and offer some suggestions to the rest of us about something you are dying to read.

Posted on by Carl Weber

A great post from a friend. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Carl

John's avatarThe Terrible Blog

One of Merriam-Webster’s definition of ‘Listen’ is:

“to hear something with thoughtful attention : give consideration”.

Yesterday, I was interacting with one of my clients for work when I found myself having to actively engage in listening. She was expressing to me her frustrations with the computing world as she sees it and as it relates to the management of her business.  I just listened.  I provided some general feedback to let her know I was paying attention, but I did not say much.  I think she appreciated that and I was able to gather a greater understanding of her concerns by doing so.

As I walked away and towards my car to leave, I thought more about listening.  Not just in the case above, but in other areas of my life.

I am asking myself, and you, the following questions:

-How often do you truly listen to your customer without…

View original post 329 more words