I was listening to a speaker the other day with some friends. During one part of the speaker’s message a friend leaned over to me and said,
“The trouble is, we all think we are the good guys.”
The more I reflected on those words, the more profound they became. Being “the good guy (or girl)” has a huge impact on our perspective, our narrative, and our story. Over the next few weeks I listened to those around me with this new frame of reference. What I heard confirmed this theory.
When my kids argued and sought fatherly judicial proceedings, each child described the wrongs committed. Each child described a scenario where they were clearly the “good one” and the other sibling was “bad.”
I heard spouses, friends, and family members describe various issues. Again and again the common theme was they were “good” and others were “bad.” The story-tellers seemed completely unaware of how they were describing the other person. Then, I listened to my own words. If I was offended or had some problem, clearly I was the “good guy” only leaving one option for the other party.
Breaking away from this self-centered mindset is not easy. Becoming aware and changing a pattern of behavior can be worlds apart. For the next few weeks I am going to try by asking a simple question.
“What if I am not the good guy?”
Maybe something so simple will shake the foundation of our self-centeredness.
To my friend who leaned over and said that simple phrase: thanks for the game-changer. It will certainly help us on the way to changing the (our) world.
Carl Weber Consulting 