Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

I Am Trying

Posted on by Carl Weber

I am trying

Breakfast with close friends is a favorite thing. Great food, great coffee, and great opportunities to talk and connect.

Typically these talks include catching up on life, work, and our goals for both.

On this particular morning we were discussing my goal of posting a blog once a week.

As soon as we started discussing it, I blurted out.

“I am trying.”

This friend would not let my words pass without intervention.

“You are not just trying. You are doing. I see your posts once a week, that is not trying that is doing.”

They were right. My old narrative of “trying” did not match the current reality of “doing.” That narrative, and those words came from a time when I was struggling with writing. Instead of writing, I told myself that I was “trying.”

My friend’s words stuck with me since that day. The recalibration of the narrative was helpful. I realized that a lot of the time when I am not actually accomplishing my goals, I use “I am trying” as an excuse for not doing an unpleasant or hard task.

“I am trying to call my family more often.”

“I am trying to connect with friends.”

“I am trying to find time to schedule that.”

“I am trying to be more organized and clean up my desk.”

“I am trying [and the list keeps going].”

I have become more aware of how often “I am trying” made its way into my life.

How often has this narrative kept you from the harder tasks? How has “I am trying” created an obstacle for you?

For me, the choice is simple. I am no longer trying. I simply have to do.

 

 

Take Credit For Yourself As Well

Posted on by Carl Weber

Coaching is an interesting process. Your role as a coach is to help provide the structure, clarify the issues, and ask a lot of questions. Occasionally, you also provide the accountability to hold people to deadlines or tasks. A coach must also resist the temptation of being the expert, especially if your “expertness” comes with pre-formed solutions.

Sometimes the coaching process feels like a meandering path. Other times, coaching resembles a highway with clear mile markers and ways to measure fast progress. Either way, as time passes there is movement. There are accomplishments. There are achievements.

When those accomplishment or achievements occur, those being coached are grateful. Some express their appreciation.

“Thanks Coach.”

“I owe it to you.”

“You are the reason this happened.”

After a coaching session, I heard similar expressions. I needed to reply.

“Take credit for yourself as well. I am not the reason this is happening. You are doing the work, I am just here to help you find the path.”

This appreciation if left unaddressed can become the second temptation of coaching: Taking all the credit.

Coaching should diminish as both accomplishments and confidence rises. Those being coached begin to ask their own questions, set their own goals, and hold themselves accountable. Coaching may continue through the progress, but at a lessor degree and may eventually cease.

Properly balanced coaching can move people forward with their life, career, business, and/or personal goals. No matter which side of the coaching relationship you are in, keep these two things in mind:

If you are coaching others, remember to resist both temptations (expert and credit).

If you are being coached, remember to take credit for yourself as well.

 

 

Why Do We Race?

Posted on by Carl Weber

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Why do we race?

We race because it keeps us in the game. (we are not giving up)

We race because we do. (we don’t just try or talk about running)

We race because races make us train. (when it would be easier to stay home, skip, or avoid)

We race because it brings us together. (we are on a team, and together we all get better)

We race because we want to challenge ourselves. (better times and pace combined with pre-race nerves)

We race because it makes us push. (a few seconds each mile, that extra run, that extra push)

We race because we are competitive. (PRs, keeping up, passing that one runner)

We race because we want to finish well. (in life as well as running)

We race because that is what runners do. (and yes, we are runners)

Obstacles and Turkeys

Posted on by Carl Weber

eastern_flock1_300

 

(Image Courtesy of nwtf.org)

Morning run.

Quick pace.

Few remaining training runs. Next race looming.

Crest the hill. Narrow path. Chain-link fence gauntlet.

Strange unnoticed prints.

Obstacle. Turkeys. Wild ones.

Dead center of the path. Confined by fences.

Freeze. Assess.

Turn around? Move forward?

Fight or flight?

Fear. Vulnerable. Exposed.

Faster than me. 25 MPH. Being pecked.

Decision.

Courage.

Loud voice.

Louder voice.

Cautious steps.

Pace resumes.

Rattled.

Observant. Aware. Alert.

Goal achieved.

Lessons learned. Head up. More aware.

Looking for signs.

Next obstacle?

Better prepared.

 

The Contest (and rules and giveaway)

Posted on by Carl Weber

Know Yourself. Change the World

The Contest

Know Yourself. Change the World. A lot of my work with people starts with a better understanding of their own styles. Either in the coaching relationship or when working with leadership teams, starting with better self-knowledge is a key step towards making progress and improvement.

Ever wonder about your behavioral style and how you are wired? Have you wanted to know yourself better and learn ways to be more effective in the workplace or life? Do you ever wish that you could communicate better with others, and have a better handle on who you are?

Here is your chance.

The Giveaway

One lucky winner will receive a complimentary assessment of their behaviors and motivators along with a one hour debrief with me via Skype or FaceTime (a $500 value). This is an online assessment and you will receive a report (around 46 to 52 pages) that will allow you to better understand yourself (both strengths and weaknesses). We will spend a little time together talking about how this new insight will help you in your career, life, relationships, and journey.

The Rules

To enter this drawing, all you have to do is leave a comment in the comments section of this post. Pretty simple. You don’t have to comment more than once, that doesn’t help your chances. Remember to leave your name or some identifier so I can announce the winner and contact you. A winner will be picked at random.

The Contest is open until 5 PM (EST), Friday October 3rd, 2014. A winner will be announced shortly after this deadline.

Let the contest begin!

If you have already taken one of these assessments with me, send this to someone you know who could benefit from greater self-awareness and understanding.

Spread the word.

The Less Than Default Switch

Posted on by Carl Weber

After hearing similar narratives during different coaching sessions, a pattern became clear.

Different people, same narratives.

Different issues, same descriptions.

Different positions, same struggles.

“I want to write, I would love to write, but I am not good enough compared to him/her.”

“Other people in the office seem to have their act together, but not me.”

“I am not as [insert word here] as her/him.”

“That [job, career, relationship, achievement] is for someone else, not me.”

“I’m sorry…[not always for anything specific, but a response to lots of circumstances or conflicts, even when they are not at fault].”

An image of a switch came to my mind. A switch buried deep within their being that was stuck on the Less Than setting by default.

Neutral Switch_Less than

The Less Than Default Switch.

No matter what actually is occurring in their lives, the switch in this position interprets them as being Less Than others. When they achieve something great, accomplish a goal, or create something amazing, the switch discounts all of it.

Even worse, when thinking about trying something new, striving for a goal, or being creative, the Less Than Default Switch short-circuits the motivation to try.

I mentioned the switch.

Surprise. Revelation. A few tears.

“Just for a moment, imagine that switch. See it in the Less Than position…Now, turn the switch to Neutral.”

Understanding.

“Just think about what you could do, accomplish, try, achieve, create, or pursue now that your switch is in the Neutral position.”

Hope.

Neutral Switch

Listen, to yourself and those around you. If your Less Than Default Switch is active, go ahead and give that knob a turn. Move it to Neutral. If someone around has the switch on Less Than, help them move their knob as well.

Over time, Neutral can become your new default setting.

No more discounting.

No more comparison.

Just you; allowing your gifts, talents, creativity, and art to flow.