Ever considered your life as an epic journey or story? Have you ever wanted a live a great story? Maybe deep down we all want to live a great story, but get sidetracked along the way. Hope this video inspires you today to get out there and create a story worth reading.
Category: Making a Difference
An Online Game to Change Your Life
I had the privilege of watching Jane McGonical speak at a conference. She is a game designer who is on a quest to make our reality more like a game, with quests and “epic wins” that are celebrated together. When I saw her name on Ted.com’s front page yesterday, I was compelled to watch her again. This time a much more vulnerable Jane gave a moving talk about her own struggle dealing with a severe concussion that left her bedridden and suicidal.
True to her belief that games can be harnessed to change our world, she created a game to help herself, and all of us with the things we struggle with, or need to overcome. The game is called Superbetter, and can be found at www.superbetter.com. We have discussed here a few times the power of setting goals, and Jane takes this to a whole new level by making it more like a heroic quest, that harnesses our allies, encourages us daily and finds very creative ways to assist us in our journey.
Take the first step. Watch Jane’s Ted.com talk, or if nothing else, watch the intro video on her website at Superbetter. You goal may not be a dramatic as Jane’s was, and may be about losing weight, becoming more healthy, or lowering your stress level. Whatever the goal, the site has tools to help you accomplish this and create resilience to help you in your life. I was moved and signed up for my own quest right away.
To Jane, thanks for being vulnerable and for creating a tool to help us find our way out of whatever we struggle with…whatever holds us back. Maybe together we really can change the world.
The List, the Life, and the Legacy
The List
Today is the first time I am removing someone from my subscription list. Why am I telling you? It is important to the story. The removal is not for anything they said, or anything they did. Removing them is more of a painful housekeeping process because they passed away this week. It seems like the right thing to do, so these posts are not just one more detail or item to be dealt with by the family.
The Life
I have a friend who is currently writing a book called What Will They Say?, about the lessons learned by attending funerals of 30 strangers. Over the past year I have attended a few funerals/life celebrations and yesterday marked another. During these events, I find myself sitting there amazed at what you learn when people talk about those who have passed, and wondering how to apply some of the lessons you learn from others’ lives.
Yesterday was no exception. I learned about generosity combined with grace. I learned about a person who led in all aspects of life with a quiet perseverance that impacted many of those around them. I learned that despite being taught to take the safe route and to avoid disappointments in life by not dreaming, this person went to college, started businesses and the packed service was a testament to someone who impacted many.
The Legacy
Their passing was not a complete surprise, some illnesses are not swift and take us over a period of years. Because of this, there was some preparation for the recent events including the passing of the company to one of the children. A month or so ago, while celebrating the transfer of a business it became clear that the end was near and the night included celebrating the contributions and impact of this life. Unlike yesterday, they were still with us.
This event had a greater impact on me than imagined as I watched a business person, spouse, parent, and friend pass down a legacy to each group. I witnessed the gracious generosity of a less celebrated form of leader: one who is gentle, cares deeply, and does the right thing.
I will be taking them off the list today and it is harder than I thought. Perhaps that is part of my own grieving process to write about this, and challenge myself to live differently today. We don’t always know the impact we have on others (for good for bad) and while reflecting I wonder if this person knew how much impact they were having on me. Their impact on me was subtle, but there is something to be said about the impact of a life well lived. Maybe that was the best lesson of all.
Bringing the Cup Home
Typically, “bringing the cup home” is a good thing. Unfortunately, not all awards are for positive achievement.
There are a few friends that I talk to regularly, usually while driving to work in the morning. These morning calls have become a way to connect with each other, but they serve another purpose: determining who brought the cup home that week.
This is no ordinary cup. This cup signifies personal failure either with our wives, our kids, or at work. I won’t tell you what we actual call this cup, but think of a good term for when someone is not at their best or kind of a jerk and you will be on the right track.
Our conversations can be pretty funny.
“So, get this. I came home from work and within 2 minutes yelled at the kids.”
“During an argument I said she was a lot like her mother.”
“While in a meeting today, I came across like a total jerk when I tried to convey my position. It was definitely a CLM (career limiting move).”
Why do we do this? It is not that we are proud of these failures. As I said, no one wants this cup at their house. The reason we talk about these shortcomings is to get them out into the open, discover the cause, and try to grow and develop past these issues. The ability to be transparent about who you really are is a great first step. Speaking out these failures provides a level of accountability that helps us remember to think before we speak, to be more patient, and not excuse away our behaviors.
How often do you bring the cup home? Where do you fail? Do you have someone or a few someones to talk through these issues? If not, perhaps today is a good place to start. These conversations certainly helped us grow, and created the kind of friendships that run deep. We all need the kind of friends who are not afraid to speak the truth when we bring the cup home.
By the way, we are looking for suggestions or ideas to build an actual cup that could be passed from house to house. But it should be hideous enough that no one would actually want it in their home.
When Dreams Don’t Work Out
Let’s face it, not all of our dreams work out. We set goals, we have a vision of the future and something derails, delays, or simply denies it from happening. What do we do in the face of this failure?
I suppose we have a choice to make. We can choose to pick up the pieces, see what we could have done better (maybe), and start to aim towards another dream or goal. Or, we can become tainted, cynical, and hardened. Yes, those seem like two extreme views, but by not consciously picking the first, we tend to end up in the second even if we do not realize it.
Life can at times be harder than we imagined. When I think about life, there are way more long-periods of monotony with brief moments of excitement (good or bad). What seems to break up the daily routine of life is a dream. The strange little hope that you can make a difference, do something great, and alter your story and the stories of those around you.
So the next time that dream starts to become just a faded light in the rear-view mirror, stop looking back, look forward and find the next dream…and the next…and the next. Make the choice, and don’t let the hardening of disappointment in…dream instead.
Reflections on the Challenge
Where did January go? If nothing else, the collective challenge helped the weeks go by. It was strange this morning to wake up and have the freedom to check the news online, but I refrained.
The News. What is happening in the world? I don’t know, but I do know what is happening in my world. I feel a little more connected to people around me, especially my wife and kids. I feel less negative about the world, the people in it, and the state of the economy (I had to buy a new washing machine so I am totally doing my part). We actually had our neighbors over for dinner this month (it took 3.5 years to make it happen) but we did it. I read a few more books this month.
Being Generous. For the past month I have been trying to find ways to do this one. There were a few opportunities but I hesitated and the moment passed. I tried to be more generous to those around me this month but that doesn’t count for the challenge so I had to create a plan. I did. Tomorrow is the day, and I am going to try it out. Wish me luck. (Yes, I will be two days late, but it still counts right?)
Dreaming Big. As for the dreaming big part, I went out on a limb this month. There is this national conference I attend each year with some colleagues, and in January they sent out an email asking for speakers and ideas for the conference. A big dream of mine has been to be a speaker at this conference and I took the leap and submitted my idea and topic.
Putting the idea out there was pretty scary but the response has been great. My colleagues and others voted, made some great comments on my idea. Time will tell if it becomes a reality at this year’s conference, but the process and taking the risk was helpful.
Hmmm. I wonder what February will bring?
Carl Weber Consulting 