Category: Leadership

Affirmation or Revelation

Posted on by Carl Weber

“I didn’t need it, they don’t need it!”

Usually said loudly and with passion.

Usually said with a negative and sometimes angry tone.

Usually as a response to the idea of coaching, encouraging, or recognizing employees.

Usually while being critical and perhaps judgmental of perceived generational or work-ethic differences.

“I didn’t need someone to tell me I was doing a good job!”

“I didn’t need a trophy just for showing up!”

“I didn’t need to be coached, I just worked hard!”

“I didn’t need a reward, it was my job!”

When these statements enter the room or conversation, pause and watch what happens.

These statements tend to weave their way through the crowd.

There are usually two responses to these statements that you can visibly witness.

  1. Affirmation 
  2. Revelation

Affirmation: people who have experienced similar treatment, management, or upbringing that nod and agree. This is what they were given, and they continue to give the same back to others.

Revelation: people who may have experienced similar treatment, management, or upbringing, but disagree with the past. They are making a decision to give to others in a different way than what as given to them.

After the short silence, typically one of the Revelation responders will speak up.

“I understand that you didn’t receive the affirmation, coaching, or reward along the way in life. I didn’t receive it either, but I realized how much of a negative impact it had on me. Was there a time when you wanted to hear something positive, a simple word of encouragement, or a little coaching?”

With a few simple questions, Affirmation may turn into Revelation.

They did need to be recognized.

They did need some coaching and encouragement.

They did need a reward for the sacrifice they were making.

The lack of what they needed made them hardened.

Instead of Revelation, the result was Affirmation of the very treatment, management, or upbringing that caused the negative impact.

Which response will you have?

Affirmation or Revelation?

The Elephant in the Room

Posted on by Carl Weber

We all have conflict in our lives. Some good, some not so good.

Recently I had the privilege of working with a leadership team on conflict and their conflict styles.

We talked about the various ways or methods to conflict well as a team.

We talked about our styles and the impact on our ability to conflict.

We talked about our tendency to avoid conflict.

We talked about avoiding the elephant in the room.

I remembered a story I read about Kayak.com and their solution to avoiding conflict. They have highly visible conference room, and placed a stuffed elephant in that room, a room that was a designated place to encourage open and healthy conflict.

As described in the Bloomberg.com article by Claire Suddath:

There’s an elephant in the room at Kayak.com. An actual elephant—a two-foot-tall stuffed animal named Annabelle that Kayak’s co-founder and chief technology officer, Paul English, bought and put in a conference room. “So often at work, people have issues that they can’t resolve because they won’t talk about it,” says English. “I don’t like that. We try to be shockingly transparent about everything here.” Annabelle is a symbol of that.

We laughed about the story, and talked about ways this team could take the elephant in the room approach to conflict.

This team could find a space that is visible and open.

This team could start to practice engaging in conflict in a healthy way that sets an example for their peers, and for the organization as a whole.

The day was coming to an end.

We recapped some of the lessons and strategies to move forward and make progress as a team.

The leader encouraged everyone to apply the lessons learned, and to begin to practice some of these new methods.

To help the team apply these lessons, the leader did something else.

The leader reminded everyone that they do have a visible and open conference room.


The Elephant Room

The leader also invited a special guest.

The Elephant in the Room

Where have you avoided the elephant in the room? What reminder would help you learn to conflict well?

Find a space.

Find a reminder.

Go and conflict well.

Culture, Performance, and Employees

Posted on by Carl Weber

Culture Performance Employees

The Culture of an organization is important. Culture orients us to the organization, its purpose and goals. But Culture is not just what an organization says, Culture is what it does both internally and externally.

How does the organization treat its customers, even the difficult ones?

How does the organization treat its employees, and not just those at the top of the ladder?

Performance is important.

Making the numbers. Bringing in revenue. Achieving goals.

Performance keeps us in business.

Employees are important.

Employees do the work. Employees make the calls. Employees interact with the customer.

Actively managing Culture, Performance, and Employees and keeping these three in balance may be the most important responsibility of a leader.

But some leaders forget all three.

Some leaders only remember one.

Some leaders focus solely on Performance.

Culture Performance Employees (2)

Performance alone creates a different Culture.

Performance alone can treat Employees like numbers.

Performance alone can turn the Culture against Employees.

Performance alone blames Employees (for the Culture and lack of Performance).

Performance alone can lead to Employees leaving for a better Culture.

Great leaders realize Employees matter.

Great leaders realize Performance matters.

Great leaders realize that Culture can take care of the other two.

Great leaders strive for Culture that rewards and values Employees that can lead to greater Performance.

Great leaders know where to start.

More Flexible, Less Fear

Posted on by Carl Weber

The other day someone asked me to describe my two biggest goals in life. Once I got over the “Hey, I thought this was going to be a casual conversation!” I spent some time thinking about my response.

The reply didn’t come right away, as my mind raced between what I wanted to do and/or achieve and what I wanted to leave behind or be remembered for…then it hit me.

Two simple goals:

1. Be more flexible.

2. Have less fear.

More Flexible. I have noticed something as we progress through life. We tend to become stiff and rigid. This can be physically, mentally, or emotionally. We don’t stretch as often. We stop trying new things. We want things a certain way. We believe certain things. We know we are right and are not afraid to express that view. We have history with others. We hold grudges.

This goal provides a simple reminder. Am I getting stuck? Am I getting stiff? Am I responding and being closed off to new ideas, new activities, or new adventures? Recently I have been trying Yoga as a way to become more flexible physically, and starting to read a variety of books, or articles that may challenge my strongly held opinions. I initially felt resistance to both, but in time, both are becoming more natural.

Less Fear. Life is pretty ironic. When I was younger with less resources, less experience, and less opportunity, there was little fear. As resources, experience, and opportunity have grown, so has a corresponding fear.

This goal is the other important reminder. What am I afraid of? What is the worst that could happen? What is the cost of not trying these new things? Having this conversation with myself or others helps move me from inaction to action.

I am glad they asked me about my two biggest goals.

Two simple goals.

More Flexible.

Less Fear.

These two goals have become a kind of mantra for me.

Simple enough to remember, yet effective enough to keep me moving.

Now the question is passed to you.

What are your two biggest goals in life?

We all look forward to your answer.

What is Stopping You?

Posted on by Carl Weber

The meeting concluded.

Papers and seats moved and the rustling and sliding began.

Then came the questions.

“When can you schedule another meeting?”

“How about you get us back together again at the 6, 12, and 18 month mark?”

“Can you arrange for this to happen?”

There was a pause.

A longer pause.

Scanning the room.

Eyes hungrily peering back, waiting for a reply.

“What is stopping you from getting together on your own?”

Silence.

Revelation.

Action.

Sometimes you get used to someone else driving.

Sometimes you get used to someone else setting the agenda.

Sometimes you get used to someone else scheduling that meeting or get-together.

Sometimes you get used to someone else managing that project or idea.

Sometimes you get used to…

Pause.

Longer pause.

What is stopping you?

 

Parachuting In

Posted on by Carl Weber

MARSOC_parachutist

(Image Courtesy of Pinterest)

While getting coffee before a consulting gig, I happened to bump into two leaders from that same organization who were at a table sipping their morning brew. There was a brief pause.

“Hey, are you parachuting in again today?”

“Yes.”

Awkward pause.

“It’s not us right?”

“Nope, you are fine. In fact your departments are doing well.”

“Great. Good luck. We are just glad it is not us.”

Parachuting In: the new term this group jokingly uses when I stop by to help a division or group of folks in the organization understand themselves better, work through conflict, or learn to be a more effective team.

I kind of like it.

Parachuting in means someone is in immediate need of help.

Parachuting in means that you have come to help.

Parachuting in means that your mission or goal may be secret (you are not going to air another department’s issues when questioned).

Parachuting in means that your work is temporary.

Parachuting in means that you are bringing needed assistance, resources, and strategy.

Parachuting in means that it is their department, their operation, and their team.

That simple phrase has stuck with me. Partly because the work has been long-term enough to earn a nick-name.

What will your work’s nick-name be?

Is your art, your craft, your life, your relationships, your consulting, your business creating the right resonance to earn its own phrase or nick-name?

The other part that I remember is how happy they seemed that I was not there to see them.