“He hates Salmon.”
“He hates Lemon Squares.”
“He is grumpy if he doesn’t eat.”
“He is grumpy if woken from a nap.”
“He [insert event, either one time or a repeated event that happened, and form a hard-wired rule about the person despite the passage of time, even years].”
There was a time when I didn’t really like eating salmon. You know the poached (was it boiled?) kind smothered in a creamy sauce with dill.
Rule #1: Carl hates salmon.
There was a time when desserts in general were not my favorite, I am more of a savory person, and since periodically I may be training for something or trying to lose weight, sweets of any kind are not my friend.
Rule #2: Carl hates lemon squares.
Years later, the remnants of those rules still appear. People are surprised when I eat Salmon (grilled and savory is my favorite) or take a bite of a lemon square.
The preferences at that moment were not meant to create a hard-wired rule.
The preferences were a snapshot in time.
But, times change.
And people change.
We think we know them.
We think they are the same.
We think we had it right.
How many times have these hard-wired rules created obstacles between us?
How many times have these snapshots been held up as a representation of us?
Be careful of the hard-wired rule trap.
You have changed, and so have the people around you.
P.S. I am also not always grumpy because I am hungry or when I wake from a nap, sometimes I am just grumpy.