Tag: careers

Memories, Milestones, and Emotions, Oh My

Posted on by Carl Weber

Memories, especially tied to significant events or Milestones in our lives are strong.

Our Emotions, and even our bodies are aware of this invisible timeline.

The corresponding Emotions can arise as these Memories or Milestones approach.

Joy, Sadness, Pride, Outrage, Excitement, Embarrassment, Humility, Despair, Love, Loss.

These Emotions are reminders that something significant happened. Happened to us, for us, with us, because of us, or around us.

Little monuments of events that build us.

These Memories, Milestones, and Emotions can be wonderful.

Love, friend, child, pet, job, relationship, adventure, home, career…

These same Memories, Milestones, and Emotions can be challenging.

Love, friend, child, pet, job, relationship, adventure, home, career…

Some of the Emotions feel like gains.

Some of the Emotions feel like losses.

Either way, these Emotions are requesting something.

To be acknowledged, to be heard, to be remembered?

In the past, Resistance and Distraction was my strategy for the losses.

With the gains, it was mostly Reduction and Discounting.

(I am realizing how sad it is that we tend to amplify the negative, while reducing the positive.)

I am beginning to see these Memories, Milestones, and Emotions as less of a nuisance and more of a Guide.

I am still periodically surprised when they arrive, and I don’t always see them coming.

Once these Guides arrive, I am learning to welcome them and ask how they are here to help.

Walking through these Memories, Milestones, and Emotions appears to be a path forward.

A path towards continued growth.

Oh, My!

Learning to Lose

Posted on by Carl Weber

Learning to Lose

 

(image courtesy of my daughter: thanks kiddo!)

There are some things that come easy to us. It may be a task, a sport, a relationship, a job that we are either naturally gifted at, or has just gone well for us. Nothing about this was particularly hard or required a lot from us, but we had success.

The success can lull us into thinking that if we continue the same level of effort, the same level of accomplishment will be ours. As if success is a simple machine and as long as we keep feeding it the same parts, the product just pops out the other side.

Something happens.

The other team wins.

Our relationship fails.

We get fired.

We lose.

The loss hits us hard and we scramble to figure out why.

We blame ourselves. Sometimes we blame others.

We struggle and get back up.

We play more games, and don’t always win.

We meet more people, and don’t always find the one.

We apply for more jobs, and they don’t call us or they pick someone else.

The old stuff that made us a success is no longer enough.

So…

We train harder.

We work on our stuff.

We refine our skills.

After some time passes, we begin to win again.

We become better players.

We develop deeper relationships.

We discover better careers.

Learning to lose reminded us that what was good enough for yesterday won’t get you through tomorrow. Success can get you pretty far, but learning to lose challenges you to become great.