Category: Communication

You’re Awesome…

Posted on by Carl Weber

There is nothing better than working with people.  I mean it.  Either in a team, or individually it makes for fun stories (and I have permission to share this one).

A large aspect of what I do is helping people understand themselves in a behavioral sense. One measure is how much a person interacts with or the influence they have over people. Someone who scores high by this measure tends to be optimistic, interactive (loud) and can move the crowd.  A lower score is somewhat pessimistic, introverted (quite) and withdrawn.  Neither is right or wrong, they are just different and interesting.

While working with a couple, one of them measured extremely high and the one was extremely low.  It was almost impossible for them to be any more different in this category.  They say “opposites attract” and I have seen this play out in behaviors with couples.  It is magnetic and exciting while dating, but after a few years…well you know.

This particular difference plays out when delivering or receiving compliments.  (One of the hardest aspect of leading, either in your work or life…but that is for another day.)  And this is how it played out.

The Optimist (high score):  “You’re Awesome!!!”

The Pessimist (low score):  “What?”

The Optimist (high score):  “You’re Awesome!!!”

The Pessimist (low score):  “Let me get this straight.  So far this morning you said the coffee was awesome, the dog was awesome, and I am awesome.  What does that even mean?”

The Optimist (high score):  “You’re Awesome!!!”

The Pessimist (low score):  “So in your world, I am somewhere between coffee and dog.”

Optimism can be a great thing.  Inspiring others, acknowledging who they are and what they contribute is a great attribute, but taken to the extreme can be seen as superficial and meaningless.  Everything cannot be awesome, or the word losing its meaning.  

If you are optimistic, don’t stop…the world needs some hope these days.  You may need to be a little more careful with the words you choose.  Sincerity is the key.  If you are on the other spectrum, remember that you see the world in a more grounded way, to you the coffee is adequate or okay.  But when you get that great cup of coffee…tell someone (don’t just point out how it could have been better).

For the next week, let’s try a little experiment.  Listen to yourself and 3 people who are in your circle, your life.  Determine where they fall in the optimism/pessimism continuum and let’s try to meet them there.  For the optimists a pat on the back and a “nice job” will go a long way.  For the others, being sincere and providing details will take the “nice job” from empty words to real meaning.  We can all use a little encouragement, and why not apply it this week.  Let me know how it turns out.

The Lost Generation?

Posted on by Carl Weber

I recently had the privilege of hearing Rebecca Ryan speak at a conference.  She started her talk with this video and it gave me hope, and I had to share it.  You can check out her work at her website.

http://www.nextgenerationconsulting.com

Rebecca if you ever read this, Thank You for making such an impact in our lives, and our communities.

Missed Opportunities…Missed Expectations

Posted on by Carl Weber

A few months ago, I was meeting with my team.  This is a team of very dedicated and amazing individuals who somehow are able to keep up with me, and my drive for results.

On this occasion, the meeting was long and there was a lot to cover.  They were tired, partly because of the meeting and the rest was the result of my continual pushing them to be better, achieve more, and produce results.  At the end of the meeting, I said,

“I know I have been driving you hard, and you have risen to the occasion.  I know you are tired, and have spent a lot of time on the road, so…”

What do you think they expected to hear next?

A.  Thank you for the dedication…

B.  Take a day off…

C.  Make sure you are spending some time with your families, your life…

D.  All of the above

Any of these would have worked, but that is not what came out of my mouth.

“So, make sure you don’t drive so fast when you come in the parking lot, it doesn’t look good and we got some complaints.”

First of all, whoever came up with the notion of sharing good news and bad news at the same time was crazy.  When you share a positive remark followed by anything negative, what do people remember?

But more than mixing good news with bad, I missed it.  As I talked to them afterwards, I realized that when they heard that first part, they thought I was sincerely acknowledging their sacrifice, their hard work, and their dedication.  It created an expectation from them, and an opportunity for me, and I couldn’t see it.

What expectations are blindly hovering around you?  Where is the opportunity to do something about it today? 

You can recover from mistakes like this, but it takes time.

Even now, whenever I start to compliment the team, they jokingly say…“do you want us to slow down again?”

Who is Telling Your Story?

Posted on by Carl Weber

During a recent conversation I asked a leader what was the biggest challenge facing the organization.  After a few moments, the reply went something like this…(the particular organization works multiple shifts).

“The newer employees have a negative view of who I am as a leader.  Whenever I try to improve or change the organization, there is a surprising level of resistance, especially from the newer employees.”

After a series of questions, I learned that besides conducting a final interview, this leader could not tell me the last time he personally interacted with any new employees in the last two years.  On top of that, the shift work is based on seniority, so most new employees work on the night shift.

This leader is busy and works long hours every day; every day – during the day.  So, to state the obvious this leader is relying on co-workers and supervisors on the least desirable shift to set the tone of who this leader is.  Relying on others to tell your “leadership story” and provide the context of where the organization is heading and why a particular change is needed is simply not a recipe for success.

When faced with the reality of the reliance on others to tell this leader’s “story” the solution became clear.

“So, what you are saying is that I need to be present and available to interact with those employees…you mean on a regular basis?”

“Only if you want to make a difference.”

Do you want to make a difference?  Or, are you relying on others to provide the narration of your leadership story?  Do employees hear from you?  We are not talking about memos and emails!  When was the last time you regularly interacted with employees so they know and understand who you are and why they should place their trust in you, and give their hard work to the organization.

Sometimes you will need to ask someone to remind or hold you accountable to put this into practice.  That reminds me, I have to call this leader and ask if they were on the night shift during the past month.  Wish me luck.

Leading and Communicating

Posted on by Carl Weber

What do leading and communicating have in common?  

“You can’t do one without the other?”  Maybe.

“Both are important?”  Yes, but keep guessing.

“Hmmm…I give up.”  Okay, Okay I won’t keep you guessing.

From what I have observed, the thing they have in common is also the thing that makes both harder than you may have imagined, and it is this:

Both leading and communicating are unique in that if you do not actively work at them, you lose ground.

Think about that for a moment.  If we assume that we are good at leading our organizations or even our families but do not actively take action, what happens?  If we assume that where we left off the last time we communicated with a peer, boss or co-worker, is exactly where the next conversation begins, we may be in for a surprise.

Resting or pausing in our communication or leadership does not hold our place, like a bookmark.  You have to work hard just to maintain where you are, and push even harder to make progress.

Let’s take communication as an example.  On a Tuesday afternoon you talk to an employee about a report that needs to be done right away because your boss just asked you about it, and you are in meetings on Wednesday, are with clients on Thursday, and happen to take Friday off.  You are back in the office on Monday, and strike up a conversation with that same employee.  Are you in the same place as you were on Tuesday?   

No.  What if that employee had to adjust their workload and stay late to get “your” report done for your boss.  You do not communicate for a few days, and had a long weekend. What is the current state of your relationship?  Have you lost ground?  By not recognizing this fact, you may walk in on Monday (well rested from your long weekend) and tackle the week.  That distance created between you and that employee will begin to widen if you do not take active steps to both communicate and lead well.

Most leaders I have worked with miss the distance that time creates in both leadership and communication and assume that everything is where they last left off.  Being able to recognize and address the distance will separate you from others.  Have you created distance? Have you assumed non-action kept your place?  What can you do today, this morning, or before you leave work today to actively be a leader or communicate well? Write it down, and DO IT!

Your Job Matters

Posted on by Carl Weber

I was working with a team in a laundry facility at a nursing home.  They were in conflict, working long hours in a small and hot space.  During the individual interview with each employee, I asked a simple question and expected a simple answer: What do you do?  You, like I may have expected answers such as, “I clean laundry” “I wash soiled sheets”, but that was not the reply.

Every employee had a similar response.  “We provide dignity to our residents in their last stages of life.”  Completely blown away, I didn’t know how to reply, so I pressed further.  “What do you mean?”

“Clean sheets each day are dignity, and another thing, we wash their personal clothes, and mend their sweaters…something that may be the last connection to their former life…that is what we do.”

Do you think someone told them that their job mattered?  Absolutely.  Why don’t we do this enough with positions that seem “less than” when compared against more prestigious jobs?  You can start today…what are you waiting for?  If you are in one of those jobs that makes life better for others, hear this:  Thank You…Your Job Matters.