Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

A New Year, a New Challenge

Posted on by Carl Weber

Wow, another year has passed.  Another year is before us.  How strange is it that we as a species track time the way we do.  The last time I checked, the squirrel in my yard may have a concept of seasonal changes, but there was no day-timer sticking out of his back pocket.  I cannot remember a time when a giraffe was wearing a wrist watch.  Do they even have wrists?

Tracking time gives us an interesting opportunity.  The calendar resets each year and as the prior year fades away, we can challenge ourselves to achieve something, do something, or be something different.

Beyond goal setting or finding your sentence, how about a different challenge?  A challenge we can all try together and see what we can collectively do to make this world a better place.

The 2012 Collective Challenge

1.  Try not to watch, listen to, or read the news for the next 30 days.  The news cycle is interesting.  In order to entice us to keep reading, it portrays events in catastrophic and negative terms (the world, economy, life, society, or whatever is horrible, on the brink of disaster, the worst in a generation…) and tends to criticize everyone and everything along the way.  Being happy and having a positive outlook on life for the upcoming year becomes hard if you constantly hear how bad things are out there.

2.  Randomly help someone who is outside of your circle in a generous way. Why not surprise someone in this world with an act of kindness or generosity that helps restore their view of the world as well.  Outside of your circle means either a stranger or someone who you don’t regularly connect with.  It is easy to help someone close to you, because they may help you back, but helping strangers is much more selfless.  A few ideas: You could pay for someone’s gas at the pump, pay for some groceries, or send 40 bucks to a random address.

3.  Dream Big.  What is that thing, that idea, that amazing thing that is brewing inside you?  Write that sucker down!  Leave the fear back in 2011, it doesn’t belong in this new year.   “The only thing we have to fear…is fear itself” may help you, but I have a better one.

“The only thing to fear is snakes.  If it is not a snake ignore it!”

If you want to participate, let me know.  Leave a comment, and encourage everyone here to try this.  Post comments as the month progresses.  Let us know about how you feel without the negativity of the news cycle, the creative way you helped someone else, and the progress towards your dream for this year.

Thanks for being part of this community, and together we can change the world.

Reluctant Leadership

Posted on by Carl Weber

Working with people can be a lot of fun.  Either in groups, or one on one, being able to help people discover themselves and their style is very rewarding.  The reward comes from knowing that their personal, professional or leadership journey is progressing and moving forward.  In some small way, you were there providing advice, suggesting a course of action, or just offering the encouragement they needed to do what they know needed to be done long before you arrived.

Lately there has been a notable trend: Reluctant Leadership.

Granted, some behavioral styles and inner motivations are more “natural” leaders.  Other styles are more prone to support others or take the second or third chair.  But this pattern of reluctance lately has even included people who would normally be wired to lead, and lead well.  Where is this reluctance coming from?

Not wanting to lead appears to go deeper than just behavioral style and opportunity.  This reluctance is a murky swamp of reasons more profound that I originally realized.  When talking with some of these individuals, the list has included guilt, shame, fear, doubt and the list goes on and on.  You can hear their Narrators shouting when you interact with them, providing the reasons not to lead.  It is almost as if someone or something knew the need for leadership and preemptively attacked them so they would not, or could not lead.

Are some leaders bad?  Yes.  Have you tried to lead and were unsuccessful? Maybe. Should you stop trying?  NO!  Leading others is messy, hard, tiring, and amazing at the same time.  People need you.  They need you to step up and lead despite your fears, doubt or whatever that reason is that keeps you on the bench and out of the game.

The more I read epic stories (the kind that last for generations) most have a reluctant leader who transforms into the Hero, despite their self-limiting perspective and doubt.  We all identify with that reluctance and fear, and the corresponding hope that they will be successful in the end.  Maybe those authors over the ages have been trying to remind us of something: the best heroes are those who led despite reluctance.

All styles can lead.  All styles can lead well.  In some cases, we have over-glorified the strong dominant leadership style making others feel as if they cannot lead.  Some of the best leaders are those who encourage others, mend prior wounds, and help others become great.

Ironically, in most of the classic stories, the reluctant leaders are the “good guys” and those who we typically would associated with type A commanding leadership styles are the “bad guys.”  Maybe those authors were trying to tell us something.

The Benefits of Yearly Goal Setting

Posted on by Carl Weber

The results of the Poll are in.  Thank you for participating.  It appears that most (almost 80%) are not formally sitting down each year to set clear, concise, and attainable goals.  For the 20% who sit down, reflect and set goals, this may seem more like a review.  Of the majority, about 15% set some sort of goals, and almost 60% have an idea of what to accomplish and press towards it.  This leaves the 7% who are just winging it out there.

Until recently, you could have put me into two of these camps.  I jumped between winging it and having a general direction or idea.  Was this effective?  I guess so, I somehow managed to accomplish things and provide a roof over our heads.  But there were always ideas, dreams or projects that seemed to just hover out there in space and never actually become reality.

Two things happened.  

1.  I was sitting next to a very successful person for a few days in training.  During one of many discussions, they asked me what my goals were for the next year, and what was my plan to accomplish those goals.

I struggled and stammered to find a response.  A combination of embarrassment and frustration filled that space.  I think they could tell I needed some help, and provided the much-needed relief.

“It is okay you know.  Maybe a simple worksheet would help.  Let me send it to you.”

2.  A friend called me out.

“I have heard you talk about that same goal year after year, and yet you have not made any progress.  When are you going to actually do it?”

These two events made me realize my lack of setting actual goals, left those big ideas or dreams just floating out there from year to year.  Periodically, I would try to make progress and tackle some part but it would seem overwhelming and I would stop.

During this same period of time, numerous requests came my way to help senior teams and organizations set goals.  As I stood before them, facilitating their long-term vision and strategy my own lack of a plan began to make me feel like an impostor.  For no other reason, I wanted to make sure if they asked me about my own goal setting I had an answer.  I took the advice and the worksheet and began to set some goals.

The process of setting the goals was more helpful than I ever imagined.  Setting goals required me to think about and choose between various conflicting visions and dreams.  Once created, the list provided me with the focus and accountability I needed to make actual progress.

As the new year approaches, maybe a simple worksheet will help you as well.  It can be overwhelming, but take the first step.  Maybe the best place to start is with Your Sentence. I hope that process provides the vision you need to set that first goal.

Managing Your Energy & Goals Worksheet

Normally, I would tell you to get out there and tell someone about your goals, but Derek Sivers at TED.com made me think twice about offering this advice.  Perhaps after setting your goals, you should keep them to yourself.  Or maybe start with one person ONLY if they will push you on the hard work necessary to actually accomplish that goal.

Now get out there and set some goals, 2012 is going to be great!

Be More Helpful Than a Handout

Posted on by Carl Weber

One of the best parts of presenting and teaching is reading the evaluations.  If you listen to what is said, the insight and suggestions from the participants can help refine both the content and the style.  It is not always positive, but learning from feedback can help you become great.

The other day, I read the best comment ever.

“Carl is more helpful than handouts.” 

Maybe that should always be our goal.  If we are not “more helpful” why are we even there?  Wouldn’t the handouts be enough?

Here are a few tips:

1.  Be Authentic: Be yourself.  You are not perfect and that is okay.  Admit the areas that you are still wrestling with.  If you are talking about leadership, describe a time you made a mistake, what you learned, and how you recovered.

2.  Use Stories:  Facts, data, and bullets on slides are one thing, but linking the information together through a story engages the listener to apply the information in a real world situation.  Stories move us, inspire us, and motivate us.

3.  Be More Helpful Than a Handout:  Don’t read your PowerPoint or other materials.  Know your stuff, engage your audience, and leave them better informed, better able to address the issues at hand, and perhaps even a little inspired.

Good luck out there, you can do it.

The Intersection of Stress and Creativity: Writer’s Block

Posted on by Carl Weber

Writer’s Block.  It was bound to happen, right?  Here I was typing away week after week; telling stories, posing questions, and offering some advice.  The journey has been difficult at times, but there was progress.  Until now.  What happened?

I heard from someone tonight that was reading some of the older posts (the one about the laundry facility, one of my personal favorites) and I described that I was stuck and didn’t know what to write next.  They immediately started to pose questions to me.

“Do you have a big project at work?”

“No, but I have been pretty busy, spending a lot of time traveling and have a stressful week and a seminar this weekend.”  (Hey, I am usually the one that asks the questions.)

It all started to become clear.  It was stress.  That subtle drain on our resources, creativity, and ideas.  The trouble with stress is the cumulative increase comes in like a trickle that can go unnoticed until it becomes a wall between us and our goals.

What can we do about it?  Recognizing that it was stress helped…a lot.  Identifying the barriers in our lives is always a good place to start.  What is it for you?  Is it stress? Worry? Fear?  A combination of all three?  If it is, that is one intersection where we should not linger too long.

Processing this out with someone else also helped.  Remember, we are not alone on this journey.  We don’t always have to tough it out by ourselves.  There are others in our circles who can lend a hand, offer an encouraging word, just listen when we need it most, or even simply ask the right questions.

“Are you thinking of anything you’ve wanted to write about but were not sure if it was good enough?  You should write that, since someone probably needs that message or will just enjoy it.”

Funny, that someone turned out to be me.