Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

Gift Appreciation Mode

Posted on by Carl Weber

Comparison.

Comparison is a thing I do.

Comparison happens when I interact with you and cannot help but observe how smart, funny, insightful, amazing, determined, gifted, and completely awesome you are, and then measure this against myself and find a deficit.

This comparison deficit transforms itself into insecurity.

This insecurity finds ways to interfere with other aspects of life, including my relationship with you.

But during a recent conversation with a friend, I discovered a better option.

What if I just started to look at your smart, insightful, amazing, determined, and completely awesomeness as a gift?

A gift that you have to bring into the world and make it a better place.

What if I just spent the next few weeks or months in Gift Appreciation Mode?

Would Gift Appreciation Mode help rewire how my brain works?

Gift Appreciation Mode would allow me to just watch your smart, insightful, amazing, determined, and completely awesomeness, and instead of comparing or judging, I would just sit and appreciate it, like a fine work of art.

Gift Appreciation Mode could act like a ticket to the best museum of awesomeness around me, and all I have to do is walk around, view the exhibits, and appreciate those gifts for the beauty they bring into the world.

Comparison is harmful.

Gift Appreciation Mode brings healing.

Comparison excludes and separates.

Gift Appreciation Mode opens and connects.

I hope the Gift Appreciation Mode museum of awesomeness has a gift shop at the end, or at least one of those cool audio tours. I wonder who we could get to do the voice…

Talking with Strangers

Posted on by Carl Weber

I can still remember the words.

“Don’t talk to strangers.”

We are reminded of these instructions when we are young to keep us safe.

But we get older.

Sometimes these words remain.

We go about our lives.

We keep to ourselves.

We don’t talk to strangers.

Our circles remain small.

Strangers cross our paths.

We could just smile politely and go back to our world, phones, books, or lives.

Instead we fight this urge to remain quiet, and begin Talking with Strangers.

We learn about their lives and their journey.

We meet second grade teachers who love Dr. Seuss and are almost moved to tears when you talk about making a difference.

We meet bankers who believe in small banks that are connected to customers.

We meet curriculum developers and admission specialists.

We meet heart transplant coordinator something something and another thing (perhaps about assisted living) that was hard to remember.

We learn about stories of big extended families.

We learn about why they meet for coffee and how they connect around the holidays.

We learn about moving away and coming back home.

We learn about passions that parallel your own.

We meet.

We learn.

Our circles expand.

I agree, “don’t talk to strangers.”

Talking with Strangers is so much better.

And…

I don’t typically do this, but a special shout out to Doug (Petey), Deb, Bob, Amy, Leslie, and Becky. Yes you did make it into the blog, and I didn’t even have to change your names. After trying so hard to remember six names, it seemed like a shame to waste it!

The Librarian and the Library of Memories and Thoughts

Posted on by Carl Weber

I am considering placing a help wanted ad.

Help wanted: The Librarian for the library of my memories and thoughts.

Not just any Librarian.

A cool Librarian like my friend Deb (the nocturnal librarian).

Duties include cataloging all of my old memories and thoughts, and being a gatekeeper of sorts.

Let me explain.

Memories are weird things. They seem accurate, but may not be exactly what happened. Our memories may evolve each time we access them.

According to Daniela Schiller (assistant professor of neuroscience and psychiatry) “if we retrieve an emotional memory and then experience it in a different way, it is going to change…this means that memory traces are dynamic, so each time we retrieve a memory it might change.”

I have a tendency to carry around some weird, embarrassing, or somewhat traumatic memories like overdue exaggerated library books. Picture walking through life with two arm-loads of books. Arm-loads that are so heavy that your arms are out and away from your body, like flightless wings. Books that have become written, retrieved, changed, and re-written.

That book about the time I was supposed to play the clarinet while the chorus sang, but I stopped playing in front of all those people.

That book about the time I was lost in the woods.

That book about being scared in my grandmother’s old creepy house.

That book about snakes (any snakes, volumes 1 through 263).

That book about being completely frustrated in school.

The books about the awkward teen years (Volumes 1, 2, and 3).

That book about [insert other emotional memories].

This is why I need the Librarian.

The Librarian would set up some much-needed rules and structure.

The Librarian would come up with creative reading programs that are balanced and provide perspective.

The Librarian would make sure that I could only take out a certain number of these books at one time. Inspect them for changes when they returned, and make me pay a fine for keeping them too long.

Possible Rules:

  1. You can only take out 1 or 2 children’s books at a time.
  2. Only 5 books can be checked out at once, but must not be from the same category. For example, all 5 cannot be from the embarrassment section.
  3. Books can be checked out for two weeks.
  4. Upon return books will be inspected for any changes, distortions, or over-exaggeration.
  5. Positive memory books must always outnumber negative ones. For example, if you are only check out one book, it has to be positive. Three books? Has to be two positive and one negative.

The Librarian position is open until filled. The pay is flexible based on experience, and has a generous benefit package. The workplace is fun, a little weird, but interesting. Please submit your resume and cover letter, and we look forward to hearing from you.

 

 

The More

Posted on by Carl Weber

the-more-1

It is hard to explain.

There is something out there.

Calling us.

Whispering.

“Wake up.”

“Don’t settle.”

“There is more.”

It is easy to find a rut.

Easy to give up or give in, and stop trying something new.

Easy to say, “this is all there is.”

But that voice is persistent.

The voice calling us to something else.

Calling us to The More.

The More hopeful.

The More connecting.

The More inventive.

The More satisfied.

The More of our careers, lives, relationships, and communities.

Don’t settle for less.

Strive for The More.

 

 

LLKA (Life Lane Keep Assist)

Posted on by Carl Weber

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(Icon Created by Richard Nixon from the Noun Project)

Our cars have become technology powerhouses. Cars remind you where they parked, describe alternative routes to upcoming traffic, make noise when you get too close to the curb, brake to prevent collision, and my new favorite: keep you in your lane.

These cars scan the road ahead. If you start to veer our of your lane, the car is there to help by gently nudging the wheel to keep you in your lane.

Small gentle nudges to keep you safe.

Small gentle nudges to provide direction when you get a little distracted and start to drift.

Imagine if this technology was available for us.

I can see the commercial.

Cue the dramatic music, and cut to video of busy, distracted living, while people race down winding roads.

[A voice begins]

Do you get distracted from your larger picture life goals? Do you spend time thinking about what you could have done, or should have done, instead of working on that thing right in front of you? Have you felt the pull of comparison to others and the resulting and life-stalling envy?

Welcome to the Life Lane Keep Assist.

The new Life Lane Keep Assist is designed to keep you in your lane.

Life Lane Keep Assist is a friendly nudge when the distractions or comparisons in life tempt you to compare your self with others, forget that you have value, and veer away from your own journey.

Life Lane Keep Assist works with you and your mind, head, and heart to turn to back to what is important in your life. It starts with a small nudge, builds to a larger push if needed.

[The cameras pan to a few individuals for one-on-one testimonials.]

“There I was, going though life while comparing my journey to others. It was discouraging, but with Life Lane Keep Assist, I began to live in my own lane. At first it was hard, I kept wanted to go back, but the small nudges and re-directions provided a much needed focus.”

“It was hard to focus. There were so many demands and needs, I was trying to do it all. I didn’t know how to say no. Thank you Life Lane Keep Assist for helping me steer away from the unimportant, and focus on how to make a real difference.”

“Before Life Lane Keep Assist I got way to involved in other people’s lives and created unnecessary conflict. Life Lane Keep Assist helped me from putting myself in the middle of conflict that wasn’t even mine to begin with.”

Life Lane Keep Assist – Available to help in your life journey today.

[Music Fades and screen goes blank]

Until Life Lane Keep Assist is standard equipment in our lives, we will have to just remind ourselves when we start to drift into the wrong lane. When we get out of our own lane, our own journey, our own lives, maybe it is just a simple nudge that can help us get back.

BPTT

Posted on by Carl Weber

BPTT

You are good at what you do. You have been successful. That success creates opportunities to grow and develop. You may even get promoted. You may be running that business or acquire a new one. You have a knack for getting stuff done.

As you move up in organizations, an interesting thing happens. The work begins to shift. You used to be closer to the work. You used to do the tasks at hand.

Now you have a team. They do some of the tasks. 

And the organization, the team, the business will require something more.

More strategy.

More direction.

More reflection.

More time spent on thinking about larger things.

In other words: BPTT.

Big Picture Thinking Time.

BPTT slows you down from the hectic pace of reacting.

BPTT allows you to develop the overall direction and goals of the business.

BPTT reflects on your style, your team, and what they need most from you.

But BPTT doesn’t come naturally.

We got used to doing tasks or getting it done.

We were successful and liked the connection with the actual work.

We get stressed, and default back to doing the tasks.

Leaders need BPTT.

BPTT may feel awkward at first. And you may feel guilty for taking time to yourself.

You are worth it, and BPTT is not a waste.

BPTT is where big ideas come from.

You need BPTT, and so does your team, your organization, and your business.

But if you wait until there is time for BPTT it will not happen.

BPTT should be on the calendar so it can be planned with, not around.

Schedule an appointment with yourself for some BPTT.

Start today.

We all want to hear the amazing things you do as a result.