I am considering placing a help wanted ad.
Help wanted: The Librarian for the library of my memories and thoughts.
Not just any Librarian.
A cool Librarian like my friend Deb (the nocturnal librarian).
Duties include cataloging all of my old memories and thoughts, and being a gatekeeper of sorts.
Let me explain.
Memories are weird things. They seem accurate, but may not be exactly what happened. Our memories may evolve each time we access them.
According to Daniela Schiller (assistant professor of neuroscience and psychiatry) “if we retrieve an emotional memory and then experience it in a different way, it is going to change…this means that memory traces are dynamic, so each time we retrieve a memory it might change.”
I have a tendency to carry around some weird, embarrassing, or somewhat traumatic memories like overdue exaggerated library books. Picture walking through life with two arm-loads of books. Arm-loads that are so heavy that your arms are out and away from your body, like flightless wings. Books that have become written, retrieved, changed, and re-written.
That book about the time I was supposed to play the clarinet while the chorus sang, but I stopped playing in front of all those people.
That book about the time I was lost in the woods.
That book about being scared in my grandmother’s old creepy house.
That book about snakes (any snakes, volumes 1 through 263).
That book about being completely frustrated in school.
The books about the awkward teen years (Volumes 1, 2, and 3).
That book about [insert other emotional memories].
This is why I need the Librarian.
The Librarian would set up some much-needed rules and structure.
The Librarian would come up with creative reading programs that are balanced and provide perspective.
The Librarian would make sure that I could only take out a certain number of these books at one time. Inspect them for changes when they returned, and make me pay a fine for keeping them too long.
- You can only take out 1 or 2 children’s books at a time.
- Only 5 books can be checked out at once, but must not be from the same category. For example, all 5 cannot be from the embarrassment section.
- Books can be checked out for two weeks.
- Upon return books will be inspected for any changes, distortions, or over-exaggeration.
- Positive memory books must always outnumber negative ones. For example, if you are only check out one book, it has to be positive. Three books? Has to be two positive and one negative.
The Librarian position is open until filled. The pay is flexible based on experience, and has a generous benefit package. The workplace is fun, a little weird, but interesting. Please submit your resume and cover letter, and we look forward to hearing from you.