At times, our busy schedules, full plates, and drive to get things done can become excuses or justification for our lack of intentional communication. Over time, how we communicate with others is more of a habit and we give it little thought or consideration.
The other day, while working with a group I heard some interesting dialogue.
“If they would just understand what needs to be done here without complaining, it would be just fine.”
“They always micromanage us and do not understand how much we have to accomplish.”
“They are just difficult and this is not a democracy, they need to do their jobs.”
“They never listen.”
“They.” In each case, both groups were placing blame onto the other. Over and over during the session I heard this term “they.” It would be comical if it wasn’t sad. There was no “I” or “We.” Replacing “They” with these terms reveals part of the problem. It is much easier to describe how others need to change, or what they do wrong, versus taking ownership of what I or We do not do well.
When you find yourself blaming “They” perhaps it is time to check out that mirror on the wall. Imagine the progress any team, relationship, or workplace could make by taking ownership for their own actions first.
If you liked this please share it:
Published by Carl Weber
Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy.
Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA).
Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading.
Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.
View all posts by Carl Weber