At times, our busy schedules, full plates, and drive to get things done can become excuses or justification for our lack of intentional communication. Over time, how we communicate with others is more of a habit and we give it little thought or consideration.
The other day, while working with a group I heard some interesting dialogue.
“If they would just understand what needs to be done here without complaining, it would be just fine.”
“They always micromanage us and do not understand how much we have to accomplish.”
“They are just difficult and this is not a democracy, they need to do their jobs.”
“They never listen.”
“They.” In each case, both groups were placing blame onto the other. Over and over during the session I heard this term “they.” It would be comical if it wasn’t sad. There was no “I” or “We.” Replacing “They” with these terms reveals part of the problem. It is much easier to describe how others need to change, or what they do wrong, versus taking ownership of what I or We do not do well.
When you find yourself blaming “They” perhaps it is time to check out that mirror on the wall. Imagine the progress any team, relationship, or workplace could make by taking ownership for their own actions first.
Carl Weber Consulting 