Anger is My Primary Emotion

Posted on by Carl Weber

Anger.  Yup, it is a part of my world.  Let’s face it, one of the problems with learning about different styles is coming to grips with your own.  All styles have great things and not-so-great things at the same time.

According to Marston and the DISC assessment, there are four styles.

Essentially, it can be summed up with four P’s or how you deal with:

Problems, People, Pace, and Policies

How we score impacts the intensity of each category.  Do you jump in to solve problems or are you more reflective?  Are you the life of the party or do you need a break from people? How about your ability to adapt to change or have consistency from day-to-day?  And then there are the rules, do you follow them, or do you consider it nice that other people need them?

“All people exhibit all four behavioral factors in varying degrees of intensity.”

W. M. Marston

All of this helps us understand who we are, how we lead, how we follow, and how we communicate with others.  It is applicable in the workplace, our relationships, our families, and how we interact with everyone around us.

One of my more intense behaviors is the D or Drive.  It is what helps me push to solve issues, find solutions and get results.  But it has a price to pay: Anger.  The great part of having this internal urgency to get things done is unfortunately combined with the not-so-great part of frustration and impatience.  Learning to balance or modify our behaviors can be the difference between success or failure.  (See post Missed Opportunities, Missed Expectations to watch this play out in the workplace.)

When I sit with people, especially leaders and review their style, I hear them consistency say, “I wish I knew this earlier on in my [career, life, marriage, college major, or relationships].”

So think about who you are, and what you bring that is both great, and not-so-great.  Don’t wear your particular style as a badge of honor.  There is no one right style, all have a downside if you are unaware or apply it in the wrong situation.

But if you know yourself, you can change the world.

I try to be pretty up front about who I am, the good and the bad.  If you are interested in assessing your own behaviors, let me know.  It is a pretty fun ride.  When I brought home my own assessment for the first time, I let my wife read it.  She cracked up.

“I think they must have followed you around all day.”

And better yet, our family was at an attraction up north.  Out of the crowd came a person that attended a seminar that I had given a few months prior.  This person walked straight up to my wife (right past me), winked at me and shook her hand and said:

“You must be the most patient person on the planet.”

Yes she is.  Thanks for putting up with me.

Published by Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.