Category: Random Thoughts

Starting a Movement

Posted on by Carl Weber

Have you ever wanted to start a movement?  How about being part of something new, crazy or different?  Ever wonder how to start?

Derek Sivers gives this great talk on TED.com on how to start a movement and I wanted to share this with you.  If you are new to TED.com you should check it out.  I typically go there about once a week to be inspired, learn, and to laugh.  If this is the first time hearing about TED.com, go check it out…you never know what is up there, but it is always worth it.

So get out there and try something crazy.  Dare to start something new.  Get your first follower and your idea may take off and become something great.

P.S.  If you really want to be freaked out, watch the one about the intelligence of crows. Scary.  I have never looked at crows the same way again.

What is Going Well?

Posted on by Carl Weber

I attended a conference recently.  No speaking role, just attending.  I had an opportunity to connect with others and talk to them.  And if you haven’t guessed by now, I love to ask questions.

I started out the day with the typical, “how are things?” and received the typical replies.

“Times are hard, people are stressed, and we may have to downsize.”

Throughout the day, everyone’s and I mean everyone’s answer was just about the same.  Everyone was doing more with less, trying to manage people who are stressed and working hard, and facing the hardship of decreasing revenues.  I began to see that I was asking the wrong question.  

So at lunch, I sat with some folks and began to ask a different question.

“What is going well?”

[A period of stunned awkward silence.]

“That is a good question…”and then the answers started to flow.

My conversations turned a corner and became something else.  Something great.  I learned about great new teams that formed where they never did before.  I learned about creative ideas that were developing, being heard, and were implemented.  I heard story after story about people banding together and doing great things.

To think I would have missed all of this by asking the wrong question.  It is amazing what a difference asking the right question can make.  

Today I ask you.  What is going well?  I am looking forward to hearing your answer.

Your Worldview: by the Creator of Wonder Woman

Posted on by Carl Weber

William Moulton Marston.  Who is he and why should you care?

In 1928 he published Emotions of Normal People, a book which elaborated the DISC Theory (a behavioral assessment I typically use to help people understand their behaviors). Marston viewed people behaving along two axes, with their attention being either passive or active (in control or not), depending on the individual’s perception of his or her environment as either favorable or unfavorable: a worldview.

So let’s pretend you are at work.  Your boss and/or manager has an unfavorable view of the world, but considers themselves to be in control.  What do you have?  A boss that is always finding something to be improved, something new to try, a new way to solve the problem.  In addition to that, they are not shy of being the hero in all of their stories.

Then there is you.  If you have a favorable view of the world, but lack the power or control there could be tension.  Your boss is giving you mixed and multiple priorities, ideas without follow through, and you are there left holding the bag wondering what tomorrow will bring. Each day you fear that your boss will have 15 new ideas for you during their morning commute to implement before lunch.

You keep thinking “Why fix what isn’t broken?”

Your boss is thinking “Why can’t my employee see we need to embrace change?”

And it is all right there in Marston’s observation.  You are different, and it is NORMAL. Understanding this worldview provides a glimpse into how they are wired.  They see the world and themselves in a certain way.  You are different.  Still normal.

Do you see the world in a favorable light or a negative one?  Do you feel like you have the power and control, or not?  What about those around you? For the next few days, just listen.  People will tell you who they are if you do.  If you are the boss, think about the impact you have.  If you work for someone (and most of us do) think about how your worldview impacts those around you.

It is all about discovering the truth of who we and others are.  Our worldview is a good place to start.

By the way, in case you are ever on Jeopardy or some other game show, Marston also created the Wonder Woman comic book under his pen name Charles Moulton, as well as inventing a precursor to the lie detector test.  Hmmm, didn’t Wonder Woman carry a lasso of truth?

Obviously I Had Lobster as a Child

Posted on by Carl Weber

I was thinking back recently about how the words we use and the statements we make help define who we are, especially with others.  You form an opinion about others by the words that escape from their world into yours.  You are even forming one about me right now!

The trouble is, at least for me, is that the distance between my brain and my mouth is incredibly short.  Words travel that distance at such a quick pace, that most of the time they escape from my lips without the benefit of a much-needed filter.

Thinking about this made me remember a time when we were in Virginia having dinner with a group of friends.  The discussion shifted towards everyone’s place of origin and what foods we grew up eating.

“Obviously, I had lobster as a child”  blurted out one friend.

The room erupted.  This friend always gave off the impression of affluence anyway, and this statement sealed the deal.  It took us a good five minutes to stop the incessant giggling and this friend was trying desperately to clarify the statement.  This is what they meant to say.

“I grew up in New England.  Frankly, it is hard to throw a rock in the summer and not hit a lobster.  Traditionally most families in New England treat themselves to lobster, at least once a year, so since I am from New England, one could conclude logically that I had lobster as a child.”

Take a moment to think about your impression of others.  If you catch someone on a bad day, or when they are in a rush, you still form your opinion about them. Is it that opinion accurate?  Is that who they really are?  Be careful.  What they say, what you hear, and what they mean may be worlds apart.  Maybe you should see how obvious it is that they had lobster as a child. 

Your Sentence

Posted on by Carl Weber

In his book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us, Dan Pink (one of my favorite authors) challenges us to focus our lives in a simple way.  He tells a story about a woman who challenges President Kennedy that great people are defined by one sentence and she feared his legacy would be more like a muddled paragraph.  Take a look at this short video.

http://www.danpink.com/archives/2010/01/2questionsvideo

Dan challenges us to find our sentence.  The one statement that defines who we are, and acts like a filter for our choices each day.  I took this seriously and thought about my own sentence.  What would I want to define who I am, and what would I want to leave behind? Here is my sentence.

Was known for helping others on their journey.

That’s it.  Pretty simple right?  But think about how a simple sentence will resonate through everything we do.  For this sentence to be true, then how I lead, manage, communicate, parent, or relate to others needs to be consistent.  Did my actions help someone on their journey?  Today?

Dan goes one step further and wants us to ask ourselves one more question.  A way of putting action behind your sentence.

“Was I better today than yesterday?”

So over the next few days…take Dan’s advice.  Find your sentence, then put it into practice daily.  I look forward to hearing about the results.

Specifics

Posted on by Carl Weber

Have you ever noticed how often we correct each other on minor details?  When you hear someone telling a story and they get one small specific detail wrong do you hear others chime in?  Do you chime in?  I notice this at work, at parties, and even between my own kids.

Picture this.  You are at a party and someone is trying to tell this great story, and someone else who knows the details is right next to them…helping.

Person 1:  “So last Wednesday, I was walking down Main Street and you will never guess who I met.”

Person 2:  “I believe it was Tuesday.”

Person 1:  “Oh yeah, right, so Tuesday, I was walking down Main Street.”

Person 2:  “I thought you said it was North Street?”

Neither correction matters to the listener.  We are still there anxiously waiting to hear about who they met on the street, and the specific day or specific street is much less relevant.

Whenever I see this happen, I watch the storyteller.  Their story, yes their story, is being taken over by someone else.  Their frustration rises, and eventually they are forced to say “why don’t you just tell it then.”

A few years ago, my wife and I were at a concert.  It was a pretty intimate venue so we felt like we were really part of something amazing.  The band began talking about their new song.  This song had not been heard before, and deals with the tragic loss of someone close.

“When death like a gypsy, comes to steal what I love” is one of the lines.

One of the band member began to share a story.

“So this song deals with the loss of someone close.  And how hard it is when tragedy comes in and takes from you.  I recently met someone who lost their friend in the nightclub fire in New Hampshire.  Someone close to them.”

From the crowd (more than one person):  “Rhode Island…not New Hampshire.”

“Right…Specifics.”

There was silence.  Silence that resulted from our collective shame in trying to correct the details of a story that was meant to help us understand loss.  I even caught myself during the story thinking “I think he means Rhode Island.”  

Stories matter.  They help us to understand each other and the world around us.  Let people tell their stories.  When you find yourself about to correct the details…stop and let it go.  Remember it is only “specifics.”