Category: Modifying

The View is Different from the Top

Posted on by Carl Weber

I was meeting with an executive the other day to discuss their behavioral style.  We talked at length about how this style may work in certain situations, but over the long-haul is the kind of style that may wear people out.

I could tell that it didn’t really sink in, so we covered it again.  That is when the real issue became clear.

“Well this is all well and good, but people who work for me need to deal with my style.  I get results, and I cannot be concerned about developing a relationship with any of them.”

The view is different from the top.  When you are in charge or in control, the temptation is to make everyone bend and conform to you.  As an employee you may see the need to change your behavior in order to be more successful, to fit in, to become part of the organization.  But as a leader, you may have one of the more prominent blind spots: You and your view from the top.

To compound the problem, if you are in charge, and have an intense style, no one around you has the guts to challenge you.  Well maybe once, but I bet they are no longer around, or learned right away to keep quiet.

Understanding that our views are different, also means understanding that the issues, strategy, and hard decisions may not be as apparent and understood by others who do not sit where we sit.  If you are somewhere else (besides the top) in an organization, your more limited view may not provide you with all the facts.  So be careful about drawing the wrong conclusions about those above you.

This clash of views can create real tension.  Soon we will talk about the power-distance created in our organizations, but for today, just realizing that our views are different and not necessarily wrong is the first step.

By the end of our session, the executive began to see the blind spot inherent in the top down view.

“So, what you are saying is my drive for results while intentionally distancing myself personally from my employees may give them the impression that I am kind of a jerk?”

“Yup.”

Progress.  One step at a time.

Be Thankful for Your Actual Life

Posted on by Carl Weber

What a concept.  As you may have guessed, our power is back on.  Four days can feel like an eternity, an especially difficult one.  Difficult times can put your life in perspective, and help you appreciate small things.  Power, lights, warm water, and heat recently come to mind.

During our brief time without power, I tried to stay positive.  After a few days, and one shower with 56 degree water I was becoming a little snarkey.  I found myself being stressed, upset and angry a little more often.  Lack of sleep and low temperatures are not a great combination.

Right in the middle of this power outage, my friend who just got back from Tanzania sent me an email.  The email was a summary of the days spent helping others.  As I read about their work on a children’s home,  I learned that the home was in rough shape and in need of work, but much better than living on the streets.  I looked outside at both my shed and tree house, the realization of my ungrateful ways fell upon me.

After the first few days, I started to notice how much I was complaining, even whining.  As I drove around, something hit me.

There are people on this planet who would walk hundreds of miles to have shelter in my shed, because my lawnmower lives in a better home than many cold, hungry, and distraught people.

My complaining stopped.  Perspective is a wonderful thing.  Going without power for a few days helped remind me of what we have all around us and fail to notice.

I decided to be thankful instead.  I didn’t expect this, but my mood improved.    I heard someone say once that there is a secret to happiness in this life:

Stop Complaining!

I am thankful for a friend who let us borrow a generator.  I am thankful for the neighbor who came over late that night and connected it to the furnace so we could be warm.  I am thankful for the candlelight Lego building, thankful for the quiet of no TV or electronics, and thankful for connecting with others.

Let’s try an experiment together over the next few weeks.  Be thankful for your actual life.  I look forward to hearing how it goes.

I Hate That Guy

Posted on by Carl Weber

A few months back, I got to work with a fairly new leadership team.  All of the leaders had been in their positions less than two years, some only a few months.  The session focused on their behaviors (how they do the job) as well as their values/motivators (why they do the job).  The goal was to make sure that by understanding their own behaviors, they could work together as a team, and learn to manage well.

As the session kicked off, it was clear that individuals on this team had one thing in common: very extreme behavioral styles.  What I mean is that behaviors are typically measured on a 0 to 100 scale.  Extreme behaviors are when the scores are either in the 90 to 100 range, or 0 to 10 range.  To make this even more interesting, these leaders would have scores of 98 in one category, and 3 in another so the distance between behaviors was like a chasm.

More extreme styles make it hard to modify your behavior.  Modifying your behavior takes the energy and the conscious choice to behave differently.

How do you think you feel after a day of modifying your behavior? Mentally and physically exhausted.

If you get home and you are spent, think about what the day required.  Did you have to focus on the details of that report that was due?  Did you have to make those calls, go to those meetings, or make a presentation?  Gauging your energy helps you identify when you needed to modify your behaviors.

Reflecting on your style and what you may need to modify is a great way to improve your ability to do it.  If not, the exhaustion of one day will reduce your capacity to modify your behaviors the next.  Losing your ability to modify your behaviors can be disastrous for your career or relationships.

One of the leaders was significantly modifying their behavior (we can measure both natural styles and modified styles).  The change between the two styles was amazing. This leader was taking their foot off the gas for results (problems) and deliberately connecting with others (people).  I had to press in and ask about this change.

“Your change in style is pretty amazing, can you tell me how you feel after work?”

“Tired.”

“How are you able to do this, and why are you doing it?”

“When I look at my natural style, I Hate That Guy.  I make the choice to be a better leader than the leaders who formed me.”

“Can you continue to do it?”

“Yes, my people deserve better.”

I said it before, don’t wear your particular style as a badge of honor.  There are things that you do that impact others…in a negative way.  Pick one thing this week and work on modifying it.  In time, your natural style begins to shift towards that style, and it is less work to do it.  You will be tired at first.  It will be hard at first, but our people deserve better.