Category: Being Thankful

Three Lessons I Learned in the Navy

Posted on by Carl Weber

Today is Veteran’s Day.  At school this week, the kids were asked to bring in some photos and information on a veteran.  They picked me.  I believe proximity and availability of photos strongly influenced their decision.

I don’t think about my time in the Navy a lot, but their curiosity caused a little reflection.  Twenty years ago seems so far away, and such a different time that even looking at the photos is a strange experience for me.  I do get a kick out of how my daughters’ eyes light up when they see pictures of me doing crazy things.

“Is that really you jumping out of that helicopter Daddy?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

This went on for quite sometime.

As I reflected on that time, there were three lessons that I learned that are worth sharing.

Lesson 1:  The World is a Big Place

I grew up in New Hampshire in a small town and spent most of my childhood here. Spending more than half of my four years out at sea I witnessed the enormity of this planet.  When you steam across the ocean for days and there is no land in sight it puts things into perspective.

Seeing the Pyramids, the Colosseum, the Holy Land combined with visits to most of the European countries that border the Mediterranean Sea provided additional reinforcement.  A friend of mine once said that every place you go, every person you meet changes you in a small way.  Standing at the base of pyramid blocks that are larger than your car has a way of reminding you how large this world really is.

Lesson 2:  Education is Important

The funny thing is, I don’t think the Navy intended to teach this lesson…but they did.  I enlisted right out of high school, just a few days after graduation.  After training you are assigned to a ship, and one thing you notice right away is that you are wearing blue (kinda goofy) uniforms that consist of bell-bottom jeans and white hats.  Officers (those with an education) are in khaki uniforms that are almost “business casual” in appearance.

Early on in your ship-board experience all enlisted people have to spend three months working in the galley.  So essentially you get to experience first hand the behind the scenes way you feed 360 people everyday, four times per day, with the amazing honor of cleaning the dishes, pots and pans for 16 to 18 hours per day.

If you are good, you get picked for more honorable assignments.  After a week, I got to work in the officer’s galley.  Not only were their meals better, they ate in a dining room with cloth napkins and real silverware.  They also lived in staterooms (about the size of my current walk in closet) and not in summer camp like beds stacked three high.

It didn’t take a genius (thankfully) to learn this valuable lesson: if you have an education, the odds are you will live in a better place, wear better clothes, and eat better food.

Despite graduating in the top 10 percent of the bottom 1/4th of my high school class, I headed right to college after my four years of service and it was great.

Lesson 3:  Don’t Be So Afraid

Not being afraid seems harder to keep putting into practice, especially as the years pass. While looking at some of the photos, I realized that fear was not a large part of what drove me.  Yes, I was much younger, but the mission or the work seemed important enough to allow me to put that fear aside.

I used to jump out of helicopters…really.  Now I get nervous when standing on a ladder that is a few stories in the air.  What happened?  Age and time I guess, but for other less risky activities there are times that fear appears bent on halting my pursuits.  There are days that even this blog becomes fear’s next target.

The motto of rescue swimmers is this:

So Others May Live

That mission was enough to move me beyond fear and leap out of a perfectly good helicopter.  Today I encourage you to find your motto, your mission, your purpose, and remember that when the fear creeps in to try to stop you.  Remembering the larger purpose and reasons why will help you move past fear and take that first step.  (The rest was easy, gravity did all of the actual work.)  

And to the Navy, thanks for the lessons.

Happy Birthday…(to Me)

Posted on by Carl Weber

Yes it is true.  Today is my birthday.  Another year has passed. I am a year older and (hopefully) wiser.

You may be thinking: That is great Carl, but what does that have to do with us?  Did you just do this so we would say “Happy Birthday?”

Answer:  Keep reading, I will do my best.  And what is wrong with saying “Happy Birthday?”  I am not going to make you sing today, but that would be cool…anyway I digress.

Birthdays for me are a time to reflect.  A time to think about the past year and answer a few questions.

1.  Did I live my sentence this year?

2.  Did I accomplish my goals?

3.  Have I made progress?  Both personally and professionally?

4.  Why or why not?

This process helps provide focus and direction the goals for the next year to begin to form. So as you may have guessed, it starts with more questions.

What do I want to be?  This one requires a little explanation.  I have noticed an interesting thing as we age, we stop asking this question.  As if once you reach a certain age, the rest of the story is written and you cannot try something new, change your career, or take a new risk.  I was talking to a friend recently and we agreed that as we get older, our behavior should become riskier…skydiving here we come!

What is the most important thing I could improve to be more effective with my wife, kids, co-workers, clients?

What is my greatest fear?  I will try to remember to write more about this one.  We give fear too much credit and far too great a role in our lives.

I was fortunate to grow up living next to my great grandmother.  We would regularly go over and hang out, talk and play games.  One thing I remember about her is this little saying that everyone saw when you walked in her door:

We get too soon old and too late smart.

I am often reminded of this little saying as I reflect on my life each year.  It is funny to look back each decade and realize how much your perspective changes and how much “smarter” you may have become.  We cannot control the fact that we are getting older.  We can control the progress we make each year.

She also had one more saying hanging next to the first one.

The secret to a long life is eating fresh vegetables and fruits for 85 years.

Thanks Gram.  I am almost halfway there.

Be Thankful for Your Actual Life

Posted on by Carl Weber

What a concept.  As you may have guessed, our power is back on.  Four days can feel like an eternity, an especially difficult one.  Difficult times can put your life in perspective, and help you appreciate small things.  Power, lights, warm water, and heat recently come to mind.

During our brief time without power, I tried to stay positive.  After a few days, and one shower with 56 degree water I was becoming a little snarkey.  I found myself being stressed, upset and angry a little more often.  Lack of sleep and low temperatures are not a great combination.

Right in the middle of this power outage, my friend who just got back from Tanzania sent me an email.  The email was a summary of the days spent helping others.  As I read about their work on a children’s home,  I learned that the home was in rough shape and in need of work, but much better than living on the streets.  I looked outside at both my shed and tree house, the realization of my ungrateful ways fell upon me.

After the first few days, I started to notice how much I was complaining, even whining.  As I drove around, something hit me.

There are people on this planet who would walk hundreds of miles to have shelter in my shed, because my lawnmower lives in a better home than many cold, hungry, and distraught people.

My complaining stopped.  Perspective is a wonderful thing.  Going without power for a few days helped remind me of what we have all around us and fail to notice.

I decided to be thankful instead.  I didn’t expect this, but my mood improved.    I heard someone say once that there is a secret to happiness in this life:

Stop Complaining!

I am thankful for a friend who let us borrow a generator.  I am thankful for the neighbor who came over late that night and connected it to the furnace so we could be warm.  I am thankful for the candlelight Lego building, thankful for the quiet of no TV or electronics, and thankful for connecting with others.

Let’s try an experiment together over the next few weeks.  Be thankful for your actual life.  I look forward to hearing how it goes.