Author: Carl Weber

Carl Weber, is the owner and founder of Carl Weber Consulting, a consulting group that helps businesses, non-profits, and individuals understand themselves, hire and manage well, and become great leaders. Carl worked in local government for more than ten years, as the Town Administrator of a few towns in NH. Once upon a time he was a search and rescue swimmer for the US Navy. Carl holds Bachelors’ Degrees in Political Science & Community Development and a Master’s Degree in Public Policy. Carl is a Certified Professional Behavioral Analyst (CPBA) and Certified Professional Motivators Analyst (CPMA). Carl regularly teaches on human factors and the relationship of behavior and leadership styles, as well as motivation, coaching, leadership challenges, and failing as a leader. His passion is to help leaders in their lifelong journey to finish well, to combat and work with their inner voice, and to live a meaningful story worth reading. Carl lives in Southern New Hampshire with his wife Amanda and together they are raising a small tribe of four young (somewhat crazy) women with the goal of unleashing them on the world to change it for the better.

The Poll Results

Posted on by Carl Weber

Thanks everyone for participating in the first of many polls.  Part of what makes this whole blog process work is feedback and information from YOU.  So keep it up, and who knows where this thing may go…

The results are in, the poll is closed.  Just 25% of you have jobs that fit your style.  Good for you, I bet each day doesn’t really feel like work.  A smaller percentage (13%) are in jobs that do not fit, but since you have to eat you may have to tough it out.  Most of you (63%) feel that your job is “sort of” the right fit, with some parts you do not like.

I was asked to do a talk on Work/Life Balance a few months ago, and while preparing for that day, I came across an alarming piece of information:

“the Conference Board published results of a survey showing that 55% of American workers are dissatisfied with their jobs, the highest in 22 years.”

January 5, 2010 Daily Finance

Apparently, (according to this survey) a majority of us are dissatisfied with our jobs.  My survey was much less sophisticated, but only 1 our of every 4 of you feel like your job really fits you.  Strange isn’t it.  If you work from age 20 until age 65 and work a standard 40 hours per week, you will have spent 93,600 hours at work.

That means 93,600 hours of dissatisfaction for most of us!

That seems like an eternity.  How can this be?  I have a few ideas about why work feels so much like work.

1.  We are asked to pick careers way too early in life.  The world doesn’t even look remotely like it did when people expected me to make a choice and decide what I wanted to be.  Frankly, I am still trying to figure that out.

2.  Employers traditionally have hired on skills, not if you are suited to do the actual work.  I help a lot of people try to hire the right employees and have had to move beyond just asking about technical skills.  If I hear another “tell me your strengths and weaknesses” question I may just blow a gasket.

3.  The economy isn’t helping.  Many people are feeling a little trapped.  The “you are lucky to have a job” may be perfectly true, but doesn’t inspire us to be our best in the long-term.

What do we do with the results?

If you are a “sort of” or “not really” when it comes to your job, take the next few days to take an inventory.  (Yes I am always giving some sort of homework.)  Write down the parts of your job that you like, the stuff that doesn’t feel like work.  Then make the list of those aspects that seem both hard to accomplish, and make you exhausted.

Does talking to that customer really make your day?  Does pouring through the spreadsheets until everything is in balance feel like a win?  The parts you enjoy are most likely consistent with your behavioral style.  Then the real challenge begins: finding the “right” job for you.  But that is a topic for another day.

Three Lessons I Learned in the Navy

Posted on by Carl Weber

Today is Veteran’s Day.  At school this week, the kids were asked to bring in some photos and information on a veteran.  They picked me.  I believe proximity and availability of photos strongly influenced their decision.

I don’t think about my time in the Navy a lot, but their curiosity caused a little reflection.  Twenty years ago seems so far away, and such a different time that even looking at the photos is a strange experience for me.  I do get a kick out of how my daughters’ eyes light up when they see pictures of me doing crazy things.

“Is that really you jumping out of that helicopter Daddy?”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

This went on for quite sometime.

As I reflected on that time, there were three lessons that I learned that are worth sharing.

Lesson 1:  The World is a Big Place

I grew up in New Hampshire in a small town and spent most of my childhood here. Spending more than half of my four years out at sea I witnessed the enormity of this planet.  When you steam across the ocean for days and there is no land in sight it puts things into perspective.

Seeing the Pyramids, the Colosseum, the Holy Land combined with visits to most of the European countries that border the Mediterranean Sea provided additional reinforcement.  A friend of mine once said that every place you go, every person you meet changes you in a small way.  Standing at the base of pyramid blocks that are larger than your car has a way of reminding you how large this world really is.

Lesson 2:  Education is Important

The funny thing is, I don’t think the Navy intended to teach this lesson…but they did.  I enlisted right out of high school, just a few days after graduation.  After training you are assigned to a ship, and one thing you notice right away is that you are wearing blue (kinda goofy) uniforms that consist of bell-bottom jeans and white hats.  Officers (those with an education) are in khaki uniforms that are almost “business casual” in appearance.

Early on in your ship-board experience all enlisted people have to spend three months working in the galley.  So essentially you get to experience first hand the behind the scenes way you feed 360 people everyday, four times per day, with the amazing honor of cleaning the dishes, pots and pans for 16 to 18 hours per day.

If you are good, you get picked for more honorable assignments.  After a week, I got to work in the officer’s galley.  Not only were their meals better, they ate in a dining room with cloth napkins and real silverware.  They also lived in staterooms (about the size of my current walk in closet) and not in summer camp like beds stacked three high.

It didn’t take a genius (thankfully) to learn this valuable lesson: if you have an education, the odds are you will live in a better place, wear better clothes, and eat better food.

Despite graduating in the top 10 percent of the bottom 1/4th of my high school class, I headed right to college after my four years of service and it was great.

Lesson 3:  Don’t Be So Afraid

Not being afraid seems harder to keep putting into practice, especially as the years pass. While looking at some of the photos, I realized that fear was not a large part of what drove me.  Yes, I was much younger, but the mission or the work seemed important enough to allow me to put that fear aside.

I used to jump out of helicopters…really.  Now I get nervous when standing on a ladder that is a few stories in the air.  What happened?  Age and time I guess, but for other less risky activities there are times that fear appears bent on halting my pursuits.  There are days that even this blog becomes fear’s next target.

The motto of rescue swimmers is this:

So Others May Live

That mission was enough to move me beyond fear and leap out of a perfectly good helicopter.  Today I encourage you to find your motto, your mission, your purpose, and remember that when the fear creeps in to try to stop you.  Remembering the larger purpose and reasons why will help you move past fear and take that first step.  (The rest was easy, gravity did all of the actual work.)  

And to the Navy, thanks for the lessons.

Happy Birthday…(to Me)

Posted on by Carl Weber

Yes it is true.  Today is my birthday.  Another year has passed. I am a year older and (hopefully) wiser.

You may be thinking: That is great Carl, but what does that have to do with us?  Did you just do this so we would say “Happy Birthday?”

Answer:  Keep reading, I will do my best.  And what is wrong with saying “Happy Birthday?”  I am not going to make you sing today, but that would be cool…anyway I digress.

Birthdays for me are a time to reflect.  A time to think about the past year and answer a few questions.

1.  Did I live my sentence this year?

2.  Did I accomplish my goals?

3.  Have I made progress?  Both personally and professionally?

4.  Why or why not?

This process helps provide focus and direction the goals for the next year to begin to form. So as you may have guessed, it starts with more questions.

What do I want to be?  This one requires a little explanation.  I have noticed an interesting thing as we age, we stop asking this question.  As if once you reach a certain age, the rest of the story is written and you cannot try something new, change your career, or take a new risk.  I was talking to a friend recently and we agreed that as we get older, our behavior should become riskier…skydiving here we come!

What is the most important thing I could improve to be more effective with my wife, kids, co-workers, clients?

What is my greatest fear?  I will try to remember to write more about this one.  We give fear too much credit and far too great a role in our lives.

I was fortunate to grow up living next to my great grandmother.  We would regularly go over and hang out, talk and play games.  One thing I remember about her is this little saying that everyone saw when you walked in her door:

We get too soon old and too late smart.

I am often reminded of this little saying as I reflect on my life each year.  It is funny to look back each decade and realize how much your perspective changes and how much “smarter” you may have become.  We cannot control the fact that we are getting older.  We can control the progress we make each year.

She also had one more saying hanging next to the first one.

The secret to a long life is eating fresh vegetables and fruits for 85 years.

Thanks Gram.  I am almost halfway there.

Be Thankful for Your Actual Life

Posted on by Carl Weber

What a concept.  As you may have guessed, our power is back on.  Four days can feel like an eternity, an especially difficult one.  Difficult times can put your life in perspective, and help you appreciate small things.  Power, lights, warm water, and heat recently come to mind.

During our brief time without power, I tried to stay positive.  After a few days, and one shower with 56 degree water I was becoming a little snarkey.  I found myself being stressed, upset and angry a little more often.  Lack of sleep and low temperatures are not a great combination.

Right in the middle of this power outage, my friend who just got back from Tanzania sent me an email.  The email was a summary of the days spent helping others.  As I read about their work on a children’s home,  I learned that the home was in rough shape and in need of work, but much better than living on the streets.  I looked outside at both my shed and tree house, the realization of my ungrateful ways fell upon me.

After the first few days, I started to notice how much I was complaining, even whining.  As I drove around, something hit me.

There are people on this planet who would walk hundreds of miles to have shelter in my shed, because my lawnmower lives in a better home than many cold, hungry, and distraught people.

My complaining stopped.  Perspective is a wonderful thing.  Going without power for a few days helped remind me of what we have all around us and fail to notice.

I decided to be thankful instead.  I didn’t expect this, but my mood improved.    I heard someone say once that there is a secret to happiness in this life:

Stop Complaining!

I am thankful for a friend who let us borrow a generator.  I am thankful for the neighbor who came over late that night and connected it to the furnace so we could be warm.  I am thankful for the candlelight Lego building, thankful for the quiet of no TV or electronics, and thankful for connecting with others.

Let’s try an experiment together over the next few weeks.  Be thankful for your actual life.  I look forward to hearing how it goes.

Maybe Snow is Just What We Need…

Posted on by Carl Weber

It snowed last night.  According to my neighbor is snowed 11 inches last night.  It snowed 11 inches in October.  I heard that the previous record for snow in October was about 3 inches, so take that 1908.  Honestly, I don’t actually know which year held the previous record. If you do, post it and let us all know.

I guess I could Google it, but this is the first time I have had power in about 24 hours, and this blog and you are my first priority.  What I do know is that snow knocked out our power.  The power at our house is still out, but our friend let us come over and borrow some warm water, heat and wireless internet.  You know, the essentials.

This morning, despite the lack of power, I witnessed our neighborhood help each other.  It is the funniest thing, we live relatively solitary lives.  We are pretty busy, our houses are close, and most of us work so much that we are “hey” neighbors.

Definition of “hey” neighbor:  someone you see when you walk from your car to your door and say “hey” and wave as you enter your house and live your own life.

Every time it snows, we become a little community.  Those with snow blowers go help those with shovels.  Those with shovels go and help with the walks and paths for others. For a brief moment, we all connect, share, talk and work together.  Sometimes I wonder why we don’t connect without the snow.

Despite the inconvenience of the lack of power, maybe snow is just what we need.   

P.S.  To the neighbor with the full-house generator: we are so happy for you, but next time please shut off your Christmas lights…we are cold and it doesn’t help.